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leavingthesoultrap
(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
- Nov 25, 2023
- 1,212
I remember crying often at kindergarten. Even back that then I felt lonely and not understood.
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I definitely relate to that. I always felt like I was in two worlds, pulling myself in two different directions, not knowing where I really belonged.yeah. growing up as an undiagnosed autistic was really difficult- i wasn't "autistic enough" to be noticed as neurodivergent but i wasn't "normal" enough to fit in with everyone else. I always felt very alone and left out because nobody in my whole world understood me. I have a lot of childhood memories of just being alone and watching everyone else get along well while i didn't know how to. it was really lonely
it definitely does increase risk of suicidality in life. when you constantly feel left out, and have a hard time doing basic things, it can be hard to even just find a will to live.It is just so striking how many of us are autistic/neurodivergent here.
Right now, I am struggling to convince myself that I want to see tomorrow - though I know that I should for the sake of my children. Can't even ring and speak to my doctor (not using NHS medical services apart from seeing the clinical psychologist due to accessibility challenges connected to autism and cPTSD). I think I understand what you are saying.it definitely does increase risk of suicidality in life. when you constantly feel left out, and have a hard time doing basic things, it can be hard to even just find a will to live.