sannoji
dreaming of flying
- May 4, 2023
- 55
i feel like, at the moment, i'm not done yet. so i don't have any active plans. but i just feel that one day i will decide that life has given me all i can get from it. it's a sort of quit while youre ahead mentality i've always had. i don't want a partner or a pet or anything so that there are as few loose ends when i leave as possible but… i just feel like i should be able to live until i feel like it isn't in my best interests any more. my mental illnesses will get worse and unbearable, and i don't know what i'll do then. i just want to be able to die when i'm ready, whenever that is.
when i feel like my end point will be has fluctuated over the past few years. if life proves to truly be worth living then i'll stay, but as i get older at some point things are going to get worse, and some are directly connected to me getting older. but it'll be a while. i just don't get why people aren't allowed to just die when they're ready. because other people don't think they really are or something? i'm just so incredibly tired of having decisions about my life made by other people. this, when i'm ready for it, would be the most logical one for me.
when i feel like my end point will be has fluctuated over the past few years. if life proves to truly be worth living then i'll stay, but as i get older at some point things are going to get worse, and some are directly connected to me getting older. but it'll be a while. i just don't get why people aren't allowed to just die when they're ready. because other people don't think they really are or something? i'm just so incredibly tired of having decisions about my life made by other people. this, when i'm ready for it, would be the most logical one for me.