- Jun 18, 2018
Ennui + drudgery = mental torture
Life presents itself first and foremost as a task: the task of maintaining itself... If this task is accomplished, what has been gained is a burden, and there then appears a second task: that of doing something with it so as to ward off boredom, which hovers over every secure life like a bird of prey. Thus the first task is to gain something and the second to become unconscious of what has been gained, which is otherwise a burden.
That human life must be some kind of mistake is sufficiently proved by the simple observation that man is a compound of needs which are hard to satisfy; that their satisfaction achieves nothing but a painless condition in which he is only given over to boredom; and that boredom is a direct proof that existence is in itself valueless, for boredom is nothing other than the sensation of the emptiness of existence. For if life, in the desire for which our essence and existence consists, possessed in itself a positive value and real content, then would be no such thing as boredom: mere existence would fulfill and satisfy us. As things are, we take no pleasure in existence except when we are striving after something - in which case distance and difficulties make our goal look as if it would satisfy us (an illusion which fades when we reach it). Or when engaged in purely intellectual activity, in which case we are really stepping out of life so as to regard it from outside, like spectators at a play. Even sensual pleasure itself consists in a continual striving and ceases as soon as its goal is reached. Whenever we are not involved in one or other of these things but directed back to existence itself we are overtaken by its worthless anti vanity and this is the sensation called boredom.
Arthur Schopenhauer - ON THE VANITY OF EXISTENCE
A matter of movement. The state of mind is affected by your physical state, just as your physical state is affected by your mental one.boredom is one of the main reasons why i'm suicidal. i hardly even know what day it is anymore because they all seem to blend into each other. i spend 99.9% of my time rotting in my bed playing video games instead of doing anything fun or productive and the times where i leave my house or interact with other human beings face to face (aside from my mom) are too few and far between to justify my continued existence.
remember the route.it went okay. it gets pretty cold where i live, so the sidewalks are still covered in snow, but it was nice to get a little fresh air. i did take my phone with me, but i only used it to listen to some music.
and... thanks again. ^^