suicidebiddybyebye
Six million ways to die, choose one
- Nov 19, 2021
- 20
I don't have a solid date in mind, and I'm still ruminating on my plan, but I think I have a decent plan in mind and almost have everything to execute my plan; I just need to iron a few things out first, such as writing my note, getting rid and giving away of some my thing, and putting some of my money away to cover funeral/cremation costs. I'm just waiting on the new year, so that all of the celebrations are over (Christmas, seeing a friend and NYE - already got past my birthday, which was shitty as I spent most of it crying) because I don't ruin those events for those close to me. I think waiting until the new year is best.
Although. I'm worried that seeing my friends and family will decease my courage to CTB, as I love them very much and the thought of the damage it will cause is quite horrifying. However, at the same time, I feel like this is the only way out of this torture which is life; I didn't ask to be born, especially with a debilitating life-long condition, as well as decisions I've made that will affect me for the rest of my life. I just don't see the point in living anymore, particularly if keeping on living is just to keep others happy that I'm alive. The idea of death isn't all too scary anymore, rather, it's quite comforting.
I guess this will be my New Year's Resolution, lol. Sorry, if this post is incoherent at any point. I don't have the energy to proof-read; it's late at night and I'm intoxicated. Anyway, I suppose I'm just rambling at this point, so thank you if you read this whole post.
Although. I'm worried that seeing my friends and family will decease my courage to CTB, as I love them very much and the thought of the damage it will cause is quite horrifying. However, at the same time, I feel like this is the only way out of this torture which is life; I didn't ask to be born, especially with a debilitating life-long condition, as well as decisions I've made that will affect me for the rest of my life. I just don't see the point in living anymore, particularly if keeping on living is just to keep others happy that I'm alive. The idea of death isn't all too scary anymore, rather, it's quite comforting.
I guess this will be my New Year's Resolution, lol. Sorry, if this post is incoherent at any point. I don't have the energy to proof-read; it's late at night and I'm intoxicated. Anyway, I suppose I'm just rambling at this point, so thank you if you read this whole post.
