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suicidebiddybyebye

suicidebiddybyebye

Six million ways to die, choose one
Nov 19, 2021
20
I don't have a solid date in mind, and I'm still ruminating on my plan, but I think I have a decent plan in mind and almost have everything to execute my plan; I just need to iron a few things out first, such as writing my note, getting rid and giving away of some my thing, and putting some of my money away to cover funeral/cremation costs. I'm just waiting on the new year, so that all of the celebrations are over (Christmas, seeing a friend and NYE - already got past my birthday, which was shitty as I spent most of it crying) because I don't ruin those events for those close to me. I think waiting until the new year is best.

Although. I'm worried that seeing my friends and family will decease my courage to CTB, as I love them very much and the thought of the damage it will cause is quite horrifying. However, at the same time, I feel like this is the only way out of this torture which is life; I didn't ask to be born, especially with a debilitating life-long condition, as well as decisions I've made that will affect me for the rest of my life. I just don't see the point in living anymore, particularly if keeping on living is just to keep others happy that I'm alive. The idea of death isn't all too scary anymore, rather, it's quite comforting.

I guess this will be my New Year's Resolution, lol. Sorry, if this post is incoherent at any point. I don't have the energy to proof-read; it's late at night and I'm intoxicated. Anyway, I suppose I'm just rambling at this point, so thank you if you read this whole post.
 
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BeautifulMosaics

BeautifulMosaics

Specialist
Aug 15, 2021
310
I read it all :hug: I'm in the same position as you, although I have a date in mind. I didn't want to see the New Year but I left it too late so I'm like a walking ghost right now. Doing all the social obligations and stuff. Yesterday I went to one and it did actually make me feel I'm not as incapable as I thought and maybe I could recover but don't bank on it. I'm sorry you're experiencing a dibilitating condition - life can be so cruel.
 
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A

Already Dead

New Member
Dec 10, 2021
4
Some how that moment just before the new year begins seems an appropriate time to leave the party.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,785
I do not have a set date for ctb, I will likely just do it when the pain of living gets to be unbearable and I get desperate. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. Having health conditions can be torture, it can be awful being trapped in this human body. I wish you the best with your plans.
 
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F

Flying Away

A listening ear is better than suffering in silenc
Nov 20, 2021
393
No Christmas or New year for. Tuesday is checkout day
 
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