Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
It wasnt until a few months ago that I woke up in a sense after a decade and suddenly desired a social life, but it can't happen given how bad my illnesses have progressed. Cruel
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x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,360
Have you had any help from your mental health team, or did you allow your illnesses to progress without any help?
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
I've been to many therapists, which have all been inadequate. I've been on all the meds for my psych problems. None helped.
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,360
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,360
You feel ready to have a life so are you just going to give up, or can you see yourself in the Recovery Forum in the not too distant future?
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
I've been in recovery since childhood. Hasn't helped. I've never not been seeking help while living as I have. It's because I've sought help that I can die without guilt.
Had an internet addiction in my early 20s, and that opened up a whole bunch of people around the world to talk to, but kept myself isolated from real people. I had my online persona and my real life persona. Online persona was more chatty, extroverted, and confident. Real life persona was shy, timid, and quiet. Eventually I combined the two and brought out some of it to the real world until someone found me annoying. LOL, went back to being just a man of a few words until you get to know me better.
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,360
I relate to this so much... I was a member of a certain forum and we had such good fun chatting and playing games. Made loads of 'friends', I was witty, chatty and extrovert. Then one particular friend wanted us to meet irl and that ruined it all for me. I couldn't meet up because I thought my cover would be blown, so I went to the extent of falling out with this person and leaving the forum.
It used to help. More recently, I'm finding it harder and harder to form responses.. it's like words are there but they often feel wrong or idiotic. I can't say how many times I've written a response to a post or an individual and deleted it. Because of this, I'm struggling to communicate with others in general. I feel very lonesome and isolated and lately the struggle to talk to anyone online just makes it worse.
x~Sophia~x
Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
- Sep 10, 2020
- 1,360
I find that very strange because you write such beautiful poetry. The words seem to flow with such ease. I write poetry, but nothing quite as good as yours.
Yeah I get this. It's becoming harder for me too.
I did used to love the internet and was the same in that it was my main outlet which was probably not healthy because --mental illness. Nowadays I'm just entertained reading what others post and do. A lot of stuff online is pure nonsense but I'm content to just scroll through it. At this point if I did not have the internet I could probably stare at a blank wall lol.
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
At the moment I live my life online but I wouldn't say I'm doing great. It's kind of artificial.
Oh, you are so kind. I'm certain your poetry is absolutely beautiful
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
I can relate to this. I'm thinking about this now and can't figure it out. For me it's that I've always been shy probably. People sense that and it doesn't make getting close happen. Shyness is a curse.
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I don't have a mental health team. Though it gets lonely, it's definitely the cheaper devil to sleep with by allowing my mental health to progress without intervention.
im too dead inside to care about a social life. as long as i have pot and an internet connection i'm content.
Lastsauce
Experienced
- Dec 22, 2019
- 258
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
I wouldn't remember what a conversation in real life is like. Or even how to talk.
Gromit-CTB
time for ctb
- Nov 14, 2020
- 847
Being on here is a help but that's as far as my internet life is now. Four walls and silence is my life
Nymph
he/him
- Jul 15, 2020
- 2,564
Yeah i was always like that and still am. I like being alone at home just in my room doing Crafty stuff and browsing the web
