Anyone else sad about missing out in life?

[_Minsk]

It makes me sad to see on how much i miss out in life. Thinking about all the fun things and how much joy some things might bring one, but knowing these things will never happen, or at least they won't bring any joy anymore.. i think ignorance is bliss, but its not always possible to not think about it..

Can someone relate to this, and if so, how do you deal with this?

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

I can relate, though since my CTB date is less than two months away, I'm using this time to observe the world without judgement. Just see everything. It's a terrible world, and I'm happy I won't have to be here much longer.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's an excruciating feeling.

 

[ddd1234]

It makes me sad to see on how much i miss out in life. Thinking about all the fun things and how much joy some things might bring one, but knowing these things will never happen, or at least they won't bring any joy anymore.. i think ignorance is bliss, but its not always possible to not think about it..

Can someone relate to this, and if so, how do you deal with this?

Yep it is very hard and destructive. It's hard to deal with, it brings me suicidal thoughts.

 

[Somber]

Can someone relate to this, and if so, how do you deal with this?

Completely.

You can try staying occupied. Time flies if you are doing other things (work, studies, hobbies)

Course none of those will prevent those feelings from returning.

 

[Crazy4u]

I relate to this and I'm sorry you feel this way. There are some stuff I can still do but don't have the energy: e.g. visiting some national parks, going to music festivals/concerts,...etc

I started taking iron supplements and vitamin d when I was young to get more "energy". +20 years later, energy level is the same

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Very much so.

 

[Pluto]

Yep, I've realised that the reason I am getting so drained at work is not the job itself, but seeing normal people actually live life is causing me to constantly get triggered. I've tried everything to try and cope with it.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Yes absolutely but it is affecting me less and less over time. I just feel there is no point in obsessing over not being able to enjoy the good things in life when I have anhedonia, health limitations and financial death. In a way I am a dead among the living. It is getting harder and harder to relate to other people let alone envying them. In the end we have total different paths in life and they have their issues and to contend with and i have mine. Let them enjoy it while it lasts

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It's a sunny day outside. Everybody is out having fun. If I had done things a little differently I would be one of them.

 

[Silenos]

Can someone relate to this, and if so, how do you deal with this?

Sometimes, but I counter that with knowing I'm not supposed to be here anyway. When I take my own life I will just be correcting a mistake my parents made. Until then I will squeeze out whatever enjoyment I can, when I can.

 

[rationaldeath]

Thinking about all the fun things and how much joy some things might bring one, but knowing these things will never happen, or at least they won't bring any joy anymore..

If it's any solace it seems the truly good times are usually pretty infrequent even in the best lives and the happiness they feel is fleeting, with experiences becoming memories before they can appreciate them. On top of that the good old hedonic treadmill adds a cap to the pleasure one can experience and returns everyone to a relatively neutral baseline, and the happiness that they do experience is interspersed with the suffering, decay, and death that is universal to the human experience. Things can definitely get a lot worse than what is "normal", but probably not a huge amount better no matter how rich or successful a person becomes. Our imagination of how good life can be is probably quite overoptimistic. Reality is often disappointing.

 

[milly]

I would but I focus my low energy on the very little life enjoyment I can make happen. There is an acceptance or a lull in resentment of the reality of loss.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Very much
There is nothing that can be done to ease the pain.

 

[8AEM]

Yes. I've gotten used to it and I try not to dwell.

 

[gottago222]

not really because when you die you forget about all that has happened in this life on earth

 

[meetapple]

Yes, I have had this all my life for one reason or the other. Just thinking about it, maybe a gratitude journal might help. Twice a week, pick something you are grateful for and write out reasons for why you are grateful for it.

 

[tieiwi]

I used to get really upset about the fact that I was missing out on a lot of stuff. One time I tried to talk about stuff I wanted to do and almost cried because I was missing out and not doing anything that I wanted. That was when I had more hope that life would get better for me. Anger was a sign that I was still attached to this world. At that time I just spent more time on my phone to distract myself. Got myself into different things to pass the time. But I as I started to get more suicidal I stopped caring. I'm tired now and don't get angry anymore. My thoughts now are just 'I'm not going to be here long anyway, who cares'.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I have missed out, and continue to miss out, on many positive experiences. Imo time is also an important factor, age matters, so even if I experience X positive thing at a later time, it won't be in the optimal circumstances, experiencing it earlier would have been better. The thing that gives me some relief about all this, is that I'm sceptical that things could have actually ever been different. To imagine that things could have been different, is really to appeal to a kind of multiverse. However, it still sucks badly, when you see others enjoying things you haven't or can't.

 

[Life sucks]

The set of the things I want to do is very large and I almost can't do anything because of pain and anhedonia, also there are a lot of impossible things. There are always new things and I can't catch up with everything, I can't be with people I want, time is stupid and one needs more time to do small things (e.g. taking one day to draw something that other people only look at for a second). Missing things is one more reason for ctb, why stay in a life that doesn't let you be with people you want or do what you want.

 

[Chaestergram]

Tbh I don't know if my answer can be seen as relatable or not but at some point I definitely felt like it and hated that feeling and personally my way to deal with it is to travel, doesn't have to be far away, can be in my country or the country next door but traveling has become my thing, at least I know that I'm indeed living my life and experiencing

 

[Onthe29th]

I understand this more then most I think. I know my mom was trying to protect me but she overprotected. I was raised sheltered and I don't have many childhood experiences other then sitting in front of a computer to watch anime.

I also changed states when I was in my early teens and became really withdrawn and depressed after that.

Now I'm almost 30 and it's too late for me to experience things I wanted to with the excitement that a child would have for new experiences. It's a little depressing for me and I struggle to communicate with people so I don't try.

 

[Janeツ]

It honestly never bothered me that I missed out a lot of cool stuff like having friends, graduating from school or having a fitting job. At least this is how I felt for most of my life. Unfortunately somone showed me how great life can be and introduced me to the things I never cared to have. I feel awfule now. Due to chronic pain and my mental health it feels like I'm just not capable of having these things - and I tried so hard especially over the last months. It just hurts.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

Yeah I can relate. My main problem (i think..) is that I feel a lot of physical pain in my body, but no-one can explain it. Quite possibly this became worse with my mental health.. but it's hard isn't it, to unravel which came first.

I spend a lot of time feeling like i'm compromising things I like to do because they cause me too much pain, and actively working on my health doesn't seem to get me any further away from the recurring pains and sensations I get in my body. I've reached a dead end with doctors, and I've had so many scans and checks that all came back normal. Add in some gastro issues and you end up feeling pretty shit!

It is exhausting sometimes trying to keep up with other people, as i'm still relatively young, and supposedly healthy .. I feel like i'm always trying to pretend i'm okay, when often i'm not. I guess that is life, and a lot of people around us are probably going through the same thing but hiding it as well - not that that makes it any easier..

I hope you can find some solace in something. I'm currently trying to stay sober and exercise more, which I think does help me think clearer but doesn't seem to help the pain I feel. Life's a ho sometimes!

 

[LADY007]

It makes me sad to see on how much i miss out in life. Thinking about all the fun things and how much joy some things might bring one, but knowing these things will never happen, or at least they won't bring any joy anymore.. i think ignorance is bliss, but its not always possible to not think about it..

Can someone relate to this, and if so, how do you deal with this?

Whenever I feel sad about fighting anxiety/depression for so long....I remind myself of a handsome, 17 year old kid I met in my mother's nursing home (she was 85 with Alzheimer's) He had gotten in a car accident and was paralyzed from the neck down. 17 years old!!! I made it a point to sit and chat with him for a while to save him from what must of been horrible feelings boredom and futility if only for a short while.

 

[Janeツ]

I guess that is life, and a lot of people around us are probably going through the same thing but hiding it as well - not that that makes it any easier..

I hope you can find some solace in something. I'm currently trying to stay sober and exercise more, which I think does help me think clearer but doesn't seem to help the pain I feel. Life's a ho sometimes!

I really don't know. People around me doesn't seem to struggel as much as I do. I feel treated unfair to be honest.
I've been though some rough monthes and it's just getting worst. I lost my boyfriend due to my cronic pain a few days a go and also my job due to my mental health. Life's a bitch for sure.

I don't wanna give up entirely but I am having a hard time staying positive.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

I really don't know. People around me doesn't seem to struggel as much as I do. I feel treated unfair to be honest.
I've been though some rough monthes and it's just getting worst. I lost my boyfriend due to my cronic pain a few days a go and also my job due to my mental health. Life's a bitch for sure.

I don't wanna give up entirely but I am having a hard time staying positive.

Yeah I do understand, and I often feel the same. I feel like i'm struggling more than those around me, but I guess there's no way for me to know that. I wonder sometimes if people think I have it all together as I can be quite good at faking it.. up to a point..

It is tiring though, because I remember when I actually used to feel good most the time.. Like I've always had down days, but in the last few years it feels like nearly every day is a down day.

I'm sorry about your losses, and I hope you find some goodness soon <3

 

[rationaltake]

I can so relate to this. And it's pure agony. All the time.

 

[Insomniac]

I can relate. It helps to remember that no matter what we do, we're always missing out on something. for example I might be missing out on Coachella or Las Vegas's night life or NY city skyscrapers but they're also equally missing out on the quietness and simplicity and authenticity of the boring town I live in.

however some people just have it all. it's a hard pill to swallow but it's just the way things are.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am not sad about missing out on life, as I want nothing to do with life. No matter what my circumstances are, I know I would still want to die. Nothing would ever take away the emptiness. I have no interest in living and life bores me. Many people who appear to have great lives could in reality be suffering to great extents. We do not know what other people really go through. I see people who want to live as being delusional, how could anyone want to live in a world where there is so much suffering, where things could easily get a lot worse for them.

 

[Hydrangea]

I feel this way a lot whenever I go on a walk. It's dark and cold out - I see couples holding each other tightly for warmth even under all their layers and scarves, I look into a restaurant window to see groups of 4 or 5 friends merrily drinking away the night, I hear laughter out from the children being playfully hoisted into the air with their fathers.

But in the end, I end up thinking that everyone's just hiding their share of pain in different ways.