Venting Anyone else prefer non verbal over verbal communication?

[amyrel]

I think for me personally it probably has something to do with the autism spectrum diagnosis I'm close to getting. I just noticed I tend to nod or shake my head more than actually talk, infact it's pretty hard to get casual words out in the first place. I don't really know how to explain it but it feels like there's a lump in my throat. I noticed this, because my mother told me to be more grateful to my father and to actually communicate verbally to him, but I'm still confused. This is how I tend to communicate with everyone, my mates and even her. I didn't manage to defend myself though, once again the words didn't come out and I just nodded to something I do not agree with. Is anyone else like this?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i don't like talking either but for diff reasons. it's tiring; esp bc ppl never talk abt anything of substance or interest. i also don't like how u have to keep up w all of the many many social cues, & respond to them properly.

 

[amyrel]

i don't like talking either but for diff reasons. it's tiring; esp bc ppl never talk abt anything of substance or interest. i also don't like how u have to keep up w all of the many many social cues, & respond to them properly.

I totally get this! Some social cues are just ridiculous to the point I have no idea how you're even supposed to understand them.

 

[Crono]

I think for me personally it probably has something to do with the autism spectrum diagnosis I'm close to getting. I just noticed I tend to nod or shake my head more than actually talk, infact it's pretty hard to get casual words out in the first place. I don't really know how to explain it but it feels like there's a lump in my throat. I noticed this, because my mother told me to be more grateful to my father and to actually communicate verbally to him, but I'm still confused. This is how I tend to communicate with everyone, my mates and even her. I didn't manage to defend myself though, once again the words didn't come out and I just nodded to something I do not agree with. Is anyone else like this?

I have autism and what you described is exactly how I am. I don't like to speak and in fact I don't know how to do it properly, I have difficulty pronouncing some words, so I always prefer to write instead of speaking. I also use gestures a lot to communicate, although I don't like doing that (because the people around me don't understand), but I do it without realizing it. I generally use my voice as little as possible.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Honestly, it's a toss up for me. Both are equally difficult and easy to mis-interpret, unless you find someone literal.
Gave someone space once(non-verbal) and they ended up getting mad at me because they thought i brushed them off.
Told someone something once, was super literal about it but they ended up putting meaning into my words when it should've been taken at face value. Even if I said, literally, "I'm literal. I say what I mean and I mean what I say" it just didn't work.

 

[amyrel]

Honestly, it's a toss up for me. Both are equally difficult and easy to mis-interpret, unless you find someone literal.
Gave someone space once(non-verbal) and they ended up getting mad at me because they thought i brushed them off.
Told someone something once, was super literal about it but they ended up putting meaning into my words when it should've been taken at face value. Even if I said, literally, "I'm literal. I say what I mean and I mean what I say" it just didn't work.

Yeah I agree, both are really easy to misunderstand and I've noticed it in myself. I usually keep quiet and just nod when someone talks a lot about something they like and I'm gladly listening, but I also do the same if I just want to show the person I am not really inerested in what they say, I've been trying to fix that somehow but as you said, communication really is difficult!

 

[Linda]

I think it gets easier as you get older, probably because you have more experience to draw on, and more confidence as a result.

 

[cold_severance]

generally no, im way worse with non-verbal communication than with words. i also see no point in generic plesantries when they're constantly repeated, so theres no point to them and overall prefer people to be concise.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

yeah im autistic and ive always preferred to speak as little as possible, even when i get in trouble for shrugging my shoulders or just not responding at all. speaking is just tiring and most of the time i dont have anything to say, but if i do have something to say i get the lump in my throat and cant say it anyway. i also despise shouting, anytime my parents shout at me from across the house i just dont respond bc ive told them so many times i dont like shouting, i have a squeaker that i sometimes use to let them know i heard them but id much prefer if they just texted me.

 

[foreverfalling]

Yes I do, it maybe because of growing up with parents that had narcissistic tendencies. I never felt understood with anything I said. Either whatever I said is ignored or I get misunderstood. For example, I'll say that I don't like a certain type of food, but my mum would just insist that everyone eats it and I should be a good boy and eat it too. So I ended up just not bothering to say anything. I only ever nod or shake my head with my parents even now.

You said you nodded to something you didn't agree with, perhaps that is similar in that saying something seems pointless because you never felt understood? Something I feel like I want is someone who would just patiently listen to me and actually try to understand me, instead of basing whatever I say on their point of view.

 

[Scythe]

Yeah, it's more due to social anxiety though, I want to write and communicate sometimes, but I don't want to explain my suituation to other ppl so I just talk. I would want to say something and I just can't or find it really hard to. I also have time to revise and plan what I say if I write it down instead of speaking.

 

[sserafim]

Interesting, I prefer virtual/online communication. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to talk though (because it takes too much energy), so I will communicate nonverbally, but I have trouble interpreting and responding appropriately to other peoples' nonverbal communication and body language. I wish I was born with the guidebook or manual for it, I'm not the best at it because of Asperger's/autism. I also suck at social cues...and at all things social. Lol

 

[Arachno]

Yes, I also prefer shaking my head instead of speaking, and it angers some people around me, but I just don't know what to say. I only talk when I really need to.

 

[DarkRange55]

The constraints of language…

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