Discussion Anyone else plan on leaving without ever having been in a relationship?

[Bong-Hit-Transplant]

I know having a significant other isn't all it's chalked up to be, but I don't know. It was just always something I thought I was going to do one day, and now it's just another item on the long list of things I'm going to have to learn to be okay with if I'm ever going to actually go through with this.

Anyone else in a similar position? How are you coping with it?

 

[Capsaicin78]

Yeah I always wanted one pretty bad tbh. Though I already coped with the fact that im gonna die a virgin/ lonely loser. It doesn't matter afterwards anyway, so why even try ? I don't care about it now

 

[come to dust]

Same. It's another reminder of how I'm unable to fit into society.

 

[September5th]

The pain of loosing a very special one is worse than the pain of never having one
I can 100% assure you that

 

[Slimetae]

Yea I don't want a relationship I see no point to far gone to give a shit

 

[FinishingLine]

The pain of loosing a very special one is worse than the pain of never having one
I can 100% assure you that

Sounds like abortion.

 

[Niko66]

Nope definitely not planning to but it's a real possibility, though I've had short lived long distance relationships and I consider them real in that the feelings were there, it's hardly the same and it's the one thing I want to experience at least before death. I want a first kiss, cuddling, what it feels like to be safe being yourself, vulnerable and affectionate with another person. Don't even care about the sex part much but I want to have experienced those things.

 

[OceanBlue]

It's just over romanticized, part of 'normalcy', to the point where it is not OK to be single. I see it as another thing to unlearn.

 

[LostMyWill]

I've only felt romantic "love" for only 2 years (2018-2020) my whole life, then I went back to how I was before.
I didn't even feel it for real people, nor "fictional" ones, it was more like whenever something romantic (confession, holding hands, hugging...etc) happens in the novel/comic I get those tingly feelings in the heart and think "what if I had a special someone?". But that's just it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Even if I had someone in real life I don't think I can stay committed to the relationship, and I would probably go back to being single for the rest of my life.
Aside from romance, even things that make me happy don't matter that much. Honestly, even if I could feel extreme happiness/euphoria I would still choose to die asap.

I don't think that I'm missing out on anything from this world as it's just lame, boring, dull and so predictable. Not just that, but it's full of lowlife scumbags who keep making people's lives miserable. If I had the power, I would eradicate all of them, and after I'm finished, I'd still CTB.

 

[Nlis2244]

I'm in the same position. I feel more depressed because of this, but I'm trying to just not think about it and to go forward until my ctb moment.

 

[Lullaby]

The pain of loosing a very special one is worse than the pain of never having one
I can 100% assure you that

Going through this currently, the pain is just overwhelming. I wish I had never started dating.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

How are you coping with it?

Trying to get rid of my remaining self-centeredness that sometimes makes me blame others (whilst not blaming myself). I don't actually believe in blame, responsibility, punishment or reward; and that has to be extended to others as much as to myself. So, trying to not be bitter/angry/hateful about it (or anything else) anymore, it has been coming along nicely (but it's a slow process). I still notice myself doing it, though, hard to get rid of it for me. Alcohol has a bad effect when it comes to this.

Anyway, if I would so much as get a date here or there (not even anything working out, just me being considered good enough to have coffee with for five minutes) I wouldn't even consider suicide at this point. Not that I'm even trying to do that anymore, my spirit is completely crushed at this point.

 

[MatthewV3]

I'm 22 and I have never been in relationship. Never had any female friends at all. Hardly ever talked with any girl.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I cope by reminding myself that any future girlfriends or children I have would inevitably suffer as a direct result of my own ineptitude and whatever else made it so I couldn't be in a relationship in the first place. I'd rather never get into a relationship than have to deal with any more heartbreak and rejection throughout my life which my incompetent ass managed to still suffer anyway all throughout my life without even getting to be in a relationship.

 

[savoytruffle]

never been in a romantic relationship or had a sexual encounter but i also never had the desire to, i recently realized i never had any crushes growing up or really been attracted to anyone, maybe that's what asexual is but I'm personally okay with it

 

[FuneralCry]

I have no interest in relationships personally, they just seem to cause people pain and lead to more suffering. I do know that it can be devastating for many others, being unable to get into relationships. It is a very unfair life after all, but this is one thing that I am glad that I do not care about.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really wanted to fall in love- probably until my 30's. There are still times that I think it would have been nice to feel that close to someone.

Still, I think all of my ideas have been pretty unrealistic. I definitely had some very intense crushes on people- but I've come to realise they weren't at all healthy- more like obsessions (limerance). I know I'm actually much better off mentally when I don't fancy someone.

I also know that I would just implode if I got my heart broken and relationships are so complicated. Especially when you are so used to being single I would imagine.

I definitely didn't want to bring children into all this too and if I'm really honest- I can't say I look at any of my married friends/family members and wish I had what they had. I kind of think the reality of a relationship would just annoy me! I'm far too selfish now I think.

I think there is a kind of comfort in accepting what you are, what you are and aren't willing to change and what you are likely to end up with as a result.

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

its not a choice for me so i cant plan it lol

 

[AloneInCollege]

I can relate. I'm 20, I have female friends but have never once been in a relationship, or done anything romantic. Never had sex, kissed a girl, never even held hands romantically. No girl has ever confessed to me or shown romantic interest. I've had like 3 serious crushes in my life. I only actually confessed my feeling once, it was this past winter/spring probably February it was to a girl I had met back in September, I was so sure she liked me since she showed a bunch of sings, all of which were the first time I experienced those sings. Turns out she's just European and friendly and I read into it. By the time I confessed I already knew she wasn't into me and just friends, I only told her to be honest, I even asked if she had feelings for me in the past which she said no to. Were still close friends but every time I see her I hurt in my heart a bit.

 

[Ashu]

The pain of loosing a very special one is worse than the pain of never having one
I can 100% assure you that

But the pain of losing is worth it.

 

[HappyForever?]

It is precisely the reason I'm leaving.

 

[whywhywhy]

Its probably impossible at this point. Trying to find a romantic relationship when you barely have friends is like trying to win the nba when you dont even play basketball

 

[September5th]

But the pain of losing is worth it.

Yeah, you're right. It is. Because the memories are always gonna be there. They may hurt at first, but someday they'll make you smile. You mature, experience new things, face your fears and become a better version of yourself overall. You finally understand what is like to be loved and love some else. You know what is like to do everything you can for that person. Man, even meeting her family is fun...

You're right. It's worth it. Better than never feeling nothing at all.

 

[ototot]

I had a crush but I never did anything towards her until I got psychosis and she said she doesn't want any contact from me ever.

 

[Misery99]

Yeah I always wanted one pretty bad tbh. Though I already coped with the fact that im gonna die a virgin/ lonely loser. It doesn't matter afterwards anyway, so why even try ? I don't care about it now

I used to think like you did about being a virgin. I thought that being a virgin was like being a loser. Guess what? I lost my virginity but I still feel like even a bigger loser. I miss my virginity. Wish I didn't lose it in the first place. Sex is overrated in my opinion. You are not a loser for being a virgin.

 

[StolenLife]

I've never been in a relationship but it doesn't bother me, I'm pretty sure I'm asexual anyway.

 

[DaatiSimi]

I want very happy to say I did get to be in a nice loving relationship with a religious rich man who adored me.
Unfortunately he became quite abusive by the end, he wasn't there when I needed him the most.
I always had this weird feeling in the back of my head he would kill me.
Turns out he was a heavy drug user, he fucked trannies on the side and was dating someone else while he was already talking about us getting married
Oh, and he did threaten to kill me and my brother by the end.
G-d bless romantic love I guess.

 

[ikadasui]

I want very happy to say I did get to be in a nice loving relationship with a religious rich man who adored me.
Unfortunately he became quite abusive by the end, he wasn't there when I needed him the most.
I always had this weird feeling in the back of my head he would kill me.
Turns out he was a heavy drug user, he fucked trannies on the side and was dating someone else while he was already talking about us getting married
Oh, and he did threaten to kill me and my brother by the end.
G-d bless romantic love I guess.

Sure they were a right proper bastard, but no need to be transphobic about it. Have some class

 

[DaatiSimi]

Sure they were a right proper bastard, but no need to be transphobic about it. Have some class

How was I transphobic?

 

[ikadasui]

How was I transphobic?

Maybe you didn't mean any harm by it, but "Trannies" as you refered to them as, in general is a pretty vulgar term and usually meant to offend.