TakeMeToHeaven
Member
- Jul 25, 2024
- 96
Not even video games are fun for me anymore. I'm just bored all the time, it's torture in a way.
Yes I suffer a lot from anhedonia and video games have been such a big part of my life I used to have so much fun playing them as a child and teenager it was so exciting nowadays it bores me but I try to force myself to play sometimes.Not even video games are fun for me anymore. I'm just bored all the time, it's torture in a way.
If I had to be completely honest with myself, I'm tired. I'm tired, and it's not a physical tired, it's a very, you know, it's in the soul, it's like I'm fucking tired. I'm tired of going through this shit, I'm tired of everything not working out, and I'm just like, "I fucking tried." I can't not lie and say, it's not like you don't wanna live kind of thing, it's like if God were sitting across from me right now there would be a part of me that would just want to go up to him and say, "Listen, I'm done. I'm done. I'm not, I can't do this anymore, I'm just fucking physically and mentally spent and I'm done." It's a silent battle, too, it's a battle we kind of hide from the world, and from the people we love, and from the people we want to love, or want to love us, because, who wants a broken person, you know? It's like, if they know, if the people in your life knew how broken we were, would they stay? And then that raises the question, of, like, "How do I fix this? Can you fix this?" I don't know.
I feel like this about even the most hedonistic of pleasures, sex and drugs. That is what depression does, it steals the joy out of anything that once brought a smile to your face.Not even video games are fun for me anymore. I'm just bored all the time, it's torture in a way.