Anyone else no longer feel guilt regarding how their parents will feel?

[Kramer]

My parents knew this was a risk when they adopted me (a child who had been severely abused).

 

[Life_and_Death]

I never felt guilt. The ones that would care know everything they need to know so they understand. And my "parents" don't care. However I am concerned about my brothers. They are only little and don't understand. All they will know is their sister is gone.

 

[HelloHell]

I used to feel guilty about leaving my parents behind. I'm not anymore now

 

[Kramer]

I used to feel guilty about leaving my parents behind. I'm not anymore now

What changed?

 

[HelloHell]

What changed?

I honestly have no idea. I just gradually lost that feeling of guilt over the years I've been suicidal.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

My parents both died so I don't feel guilty.

 

[specklenought]

I feel guilty with how my death might impact them. But also at the same time, I don't because I can't control how they feel, even when I'm alive I cant do it. So why would I expect that after I am gone?

Also realistically, it's not like I will live to see the consequences. I'll stop existing, and therefore so will everything else in a sense. I'm just one tiny perspective of the universe.

 

[Deleted member 13412]

i feel bad that i will hurt my parents with my suicide but i ve nvr asked to exist n feel this pain ...i ve nvr wanted to hurt them n hurtmyself.. its just tragic..inevitable ):

 

[antigone_iris]

I'm feeling guilty and I can't help it.

 

[Cakes]

I'm feeling guilty and I can't help it.

Me too! *hugs*

 

[Brokensaddle]

No guilty from but I used as my mum used to play minds games. My sister would abusing me and my mum would play the nice guy until she got bored and would join. In my suicide letter i blame my mum, sister and mental health services for my death. I do have some friends who have told me they would feel pain at losing me and they would end up in bad place but I feel they are blackmailing emotionally because they know making statements like would impact me. They don't consider the abuse I've been put under for multiple years. At the end of the decision is mine and mine alone.

 

[sadworld]

I don't feel guilty. It's my decision what I want to do.

 

[Ko9]

Never have, people that create life that suffers have no reason to complain when the life grows a pair and pulls the trigger. (Unlike me)

 

[AmmarQz]

I was just thinking about this topic and finally I'm over the guilt. Not because I hate them or don't care about them. It's just I genuinely have no more room. I'm full, I'm full of despair and hopelessness. I physically can't take anyone's feelings into considerations on this matter anymore. The pain is too strong for me to think about the consequences of ending this suffering.

 

[naaras]

No. I begged for help during my teenage years and they never listened to me. Just told me to shut up.

 

[Bauhaus]

I do still feel guilty for my parents, although it also depends how I will ctb:
If I'm able to go through the exit bag method, it feels like I choose an "easy" way out.
If otoh I use my backup plan which is longdrop hanging with decapitation, then I feel the pain I will experience will be more than enough punishment for my "sin".

 

[StringPuppet]

My mom knows there's no hope for me. She might pretend like there is like any parent would but deep down she knows.

 

[Viceroy]

no i dont give a fuck my parents fucked me up big time when they could have avoided so much by doing just some simple things. so when I finally fucking end it I wont really care. I just wanna die alreayd

 

[stupid little girl]

Hardly any. I feel slightly bad for my mother because her first husband (not my father) committed suicide and succeeded. He used a firearm, she walked in, and had to identify the body...yeah. So, I won't commit suicide where she'd find me. Even though I won't use the firearm method unless I'm desperate I don't want her to have to find another dead body. With that said, both of them are part of the reason I want to commit suicide. They have done little to help me and have made things worse. I've told my mother that I still feel suicidal and self-harm but she doesn't do anything about it. She asks if I want to see a therapist, I say no, end of discussion. So, aside from her seeing my body I don't feel bad about how my parents will feel afterwards.

 

[W’ren]

I used to feel absolutely terrible.

As time has passed i've realized i'm just a burden- a drain on their resources... time/money/wellbeing...

Without me they'd be in a better position financially- and sure they'd be stressed to begin with sorta but they'd get over it. They have my sibling and their family unit- who is perfect with the 2 kids, big house, 2 cars etc... good jobs for both sibling and partner... my parents would be surrounded by the love of the good child that's left behind and the love of the grandkids that i could never give them.

So... burden gone.

They know I'm depressed so it shouldn't be a total shock and i'll make sure someone other than them finds my body-

I feel so detached writing this. I love them- but really, i'm a burden. They'd be better off. I don't mean to be cold. I just don't feel guilty anymore... it's in their best interests.

 

[Fragile]

If only.

I feel like a fucking monster for what I'll do to my mother's mental health.

 

[okdoomer]

Yeah. My parents are alright I suppose but I've never bonded with them in the first place to feel guilty. Essentially they were very emotionally neglectful of me as a child and it's no wonder I feel so isolated and disconnected from everything. Maybe at one point I felt sorta bad but they were displaced feelings for actual loving parents, who despite trying everything, their child still ended up killing themselves. That's not my parents though.

 

[Misfit72]

My mother died when I was six, so how she feels isn't an issue for me, and I'm not expecting to see her in the afterlife. As for my father, I don't care at all, sorry.

 

[Frauw]

Nope, if they never spawned in an attempt to fill a void in their life, I wouldn't be in the physical pain I'm in right now, reap what you sow.

 

[stevepwn]

My parents knew this was a risk when they adopted me (a child who had been severely abused).

lol fuck parents. i could care less. theyre useless idiots

 

[Symbiote]

Parents are dead, they never really felt anything regarding me.

 

[Mr.Nobody]

I do feel some guilt and will do till the end but it has to be done.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

I feel like the guilt is and always was a mind trap and not an original thought. It's something I took on after being exposed to the same repetitive thoughts whenever I'd look at things suicidal people or people grieving for people who killed themselves wrote. I feel it, but it won't stop me.
I don't know if I'm being too cynical but a lot of it, not all but a lot, comes off to me as an affectation that they don't know is an affectation. "I have a reason to be hysterical so now I'm going to be hysterical because it's something to do, and it's also a convenient way to reinforce my own purity and social correctness."
It's a compensatory outpouring of emotion meant to stop a realization.
Maybe I'd feel differently if someone I loved ever killed themselves. I wouldn't know. But I also doubt I'd think something like "you only pass the pain on" or whatever.

 

[Wayfaerer]

My parents deserve it. It's the only feeling of justice that I will get. It's too bad one of them is already dead.

 

[Deleted member 94]

If mum wasn't already dead yes, my dad has disowned me so I expect he won't suffer my loss.