Discussion Anyone else like this?

[StevieNixs]

I am sitting in the house. I have to go out to buy cat food. I live in a cul de sac. I can see a neighbour outside cleaning his and his girlfriend's cars, and feel unable to go out until he goes inside.
I know that if I go to my car now, he will look up, make eye contact and I will have to say something to him and I feel awkwardly unable to engage with people, if only on a superficial level. I'd rather just ignore him, but, know that social mores make this difficult. I hate living in a cul de sac for this reason. Before, I could at least say a cursory hello to neighbours, but now.. it is just very difficult for me to do so because I feel as if I am living in an alternate, experiential reality.

Screw washing my car. It's bad enough having to go to a supermarket....

 

[FuneralCry]

It would be a nightmare for me having to have a forced, pointless conversation with someone that I barely know. I do everything to avoid people, I cannot stand people. Being around others makes me feel worse.

 

[StevieNixs]

It would be a nightmare for me having to have a forced, pointless conversation with someone that I barely know. I do everything to avoid people, I cannot stand people. Being around others makes me feel worse.

Absolutely feel the same way. I also dislike strangers trying to strike up conversations with me.

 

[Onthe29th]

Unfortunately, I've never had a job that didn't require making some conversation. It makes work many times more draining not because of them but because I'm bad at small talk.

 

[Noctis]

I'm the same way. I take an extra five minutes to take the long way into work because the main entrance has a security guard that will say "Hey Noctis! Good morning!"

That's the only interaction we have. And I still go out of my way to avoid it.

 

[Justsogone]

Same as me, sometimes I'm quite unable to engage with people so that I'm always avoiding people.

 

[ashfall]

I'm the same, when I walk my dog in the park people always approach me and say hello or try and make small talk about my dog. I dread it so much. I can't walk outside during the day anymore, I wait until it's dark out and there are fewer people. I know it's technically more dangerous but ironically it's when it's light out that I actually feel more exposed and vulnerable. I can't talk to people anymore.

 

[samsaragothands]

i relate. it used to always be this way to some extent because i was always a little reserved, but in the past, eventually i'd hit a point after forcing myself to socialize where i'd think "it's actually not so bad". my biggest fear was getting to a point where i was more in my head than i was able to get to that point, and i think i'm finally there. my fears of bombing social interactions are no longer hypothetical and i can't hold conversations if my life depended on it (sort of wish it did), so i just don't initiate anything and am constantly anxious that the responsibility to be present will somehow be hoisted onto me somehow. i feel like a disappointment already because of this, and i'm avoidant because i don't want to compound that disappointment anymore by giving myself another lackluster social attempt to dwell on. funnily enough, i actually love going to the supermarket for the same reason because my interactions there more or less put me on autopilot and there's less of a chance of me saying something off-putting lmao

 

[Crazy4u]

I used to be like this so I started "fake it until you make it" approach. We live with people everywhere and have to put up with them.

 

[eternalpeace]

I totally relate to that. The neighbour across the street really is quite lovely, but whenever I am out there, she always talks to me and I just can't handle socializing, especially small talk. If she's out there, I wait until she goes in, but usually she just appears out of nowhere when I am already outside. I also can't stand running into acquaintances or old friends at the grocery store/drugstore/wherever. If I see someone I know, I try to avoid them before they see me. Once I tried to hide behind a giant display of Kraft dinner boxes, and I somehow knocked over the entire display, sending the boxes flying everywhere. It was very embarrassing, and my location was unveiled with fanfare.

 

[StevieNixs]

I totally relate to that. The neighbour across the street really is quite lovely, but whenever I am out there, she always talks to me and I just can't handle socializing, especially small talk. If she's out there, I wait until she goes in, but usually she just appears out of nowhere when I am already outside. I also can't stand running into acquaintances or old friends at the grocery store/drugstore/wherever. If I see someone I know, I try to avoid them before they see me. Once I tried to hide behind a giant display of Kraft dinner boxes, and I somehow knocked over the entire display, sending the boxes flying everywhere. It was very embarrassing, and my location was unveiled with fanfare.

Sorry - that was funny...that is the giant Kraft display toppling over. I would have tried to hide amongst the boxes!

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I am sitting in the house. I have to go out to buy cat food. I live in a cul de sac. I can see a neighbour outside cleaning his and his girlfriend's cars, and feel unable to go out until he goes inside.
I know that if I go to my car now, he will look up, make eye contact and I will have to say something to him and I feel awkwardly unable to engage with people, if only on a superficial level. I'd rather just ignore him, but, know that social mores make this difficult. I hate living in a cul de sac for this reason. Before, I could at least say a cursory hello to neighbours, but now.. it is just very difficult for me to do so because I feel as if I am living in an alternate, experiential reality.

Screw washing my car. It's bad enough having to go to a supermarket....

Yeah dude I'm like this. I live in New York, and its absolute garbage? But thats one of the silver linings here. People leave each other alone for the most part. We're aggressively asocial. I live my life trying to give off as much of a "leave me the fuck alone" attitude as possible. It doesn't work a lot of the time.

 

[ElderRecluse]

I understand this is called Social Phobia. I'm the same way. If I see my neighbor going down to his mailbox for mail, I wait until he is back in his house before I go for mine. I'm pretty old, and this neighbor is a little younger and is always asking if I need any help with anything.

The worst part of this phobia is when a friend would ask me to their family dinner on my birthday or on a holiday. I had to decline, but always felt really bad about doing so because I couldn't explain to them that accepting their invitation would cause me great anxiety. Now this is no longer a problem as all my friends have either died of moved away.

 

[Bleak]

I am sitting in the house. I have to go out to buy cat food. I live in a cul de sac. I can see a neighbour outside cleaning his and his girlfriend's cars, and feel unable to go out until he goes inside.
I know that if I go to my car now, he will look up, make eye contact and I will have to say something to him and I feel awkwardly unable to engage with people, if only on a superficial level. I'd rather just ignore him, but, know that social mores make this difficult. I hate living in a cul de sac for this reason. Before, I could at least say a cursory hello to neighbours, but now.. it is just very difficult for me to do so because I feel as if I am living in an alternate, experiential reality.

Screw washing my car. It's bad enough having to go to a supermarket....

Yes I go to very great lengths to avoid even casual greetings if I can. Have had social anxiety since the 4th grade and it's only gotten worse with age. I envy people who can just walk around unashamed and chat without effort.

 

[Myono93]

It seems that every social interaction I'm involved in goes south. When I pass by people at work or in a store I can sense they are off put by my presence. I can't figure out what I do wrong. I don't think I make a face or anything. I try eye contact but they get creeped out. I avoid eye contact and they get creeped out. I exist as a subhuman and hide in my bell tower until nightfall. I drive 40 minutes to a 24 hour supermarket to shop at night. I have enough trouble at work. If I'm not getting paid I don't put myself in a position to be despised by people. I hate myself enough.

 

[eternalpeace]

Sorry - that was funny...that is the giant Kraft display toppling over. I would have tried to hide amongst the boxes!

I found it hilarious after the fact. (Not in the moment, but afterwards.). I have no idea why I tried to hide behind it. I just panicked!

 

[StevieNixs]

I found it hilarious after the fact. (Not in the moment, but afterwards.). I have no idea why I tried to hide behind it. I just panicked!

I would have probably done the same thing. Another thing I try to do if I am outside and see one of my mother;' friend, or someone I know is I quickly cross the road and pretend I'm on my phone.

 

[D&D]

I relate.
For me it started three years ago and progressively worsened ... the last few months I am literary hiding in my flat.
I do not hate people. I don't even dislike them. I understand they are the products of their genetics and environments just as much as I am of mine. Understanding does nothing to lessen the overwhelming sorrow that comes over me every time life forces me to interact with people. Watching the more or less elaborate show we all put on. Myself included. As a form of self-preservation. I pretend to be OK, they pretend to care. As the rules of an unspoken social contract dictate. In-build polite phrases English language bursts with facilitate it perfectly. I say that as non-native English speaker. Language shapes the way we think, feel and interact.

 

[Mixo]

I used to have no problem making small talk with people until I moved here. Now I definitely have a phobia of people in general because of a certain level of harassment I've had to endure. It's incredible, but it's gotten to the point that if a stranger is outwardly kind to me when I'm out in public, I'm genuinely surprised. I'm not sure if this is who I am now or if I'm just shaped badly by the environment. Probably both.

 

[Death is beautiful]

It is also very difficult for me to communicate with people, especially to communicate with my distant relatives. It's just useless chatter