anyone else in a hopeless situation

[rabbithole]

Help me feel less alone please lol. Even though I think there's hope in most situations there are some that there's just no way out of. I can't figure a way out of mine at all. My body is diseased...badly, my mind is diseased, also badly, and my heart is broken into pieces. I was hospitalized for two months, lots of dbt and cbt, did iop, individual therapy, ketamine, lots of psychotropic drugs and now might try TMS and then ECT. But it's useless. I'm depressed because of my situation not for no reason.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Oh rabbithole, I can tell you are suffering so much, and it's so unfair that this injury happened to you. You don't deserve it. We are in a similar boat. My chronic fatigue, neuropathy, ibs, ptsd, and autism are why I want to ctb. I am depressed because of these illnesses, it is not something that lacks reasoning or rationality.

I get told the same things though, that I am just depressed because of some mysterious "mental illness" and not because my life is objectively terrible with all these diseases. I get told there are people with these illnesses who are happy, so why can't I be happy and hold out for a very slim chance of a magic cure and recovery being discovered in the future?

They really fail to understand what we are going through.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

This must be awful, I can't imagine. My most sincere sympathy.

 

[greyhound]

So sorry you're in this situation.

I too feel like I'm backed into a corner. I want to CTB as I feel I've exhausted all my options and there really is no way out.

I'm depressed as well but it is totally based on my circumstances. I don't think any amount of anti depressants or therapy are going to be able to allow me to tolerate living in this diseased body for much longer.

 

[Pookie]

So sorry you're in this situation.

I too feel like I'm backed into a corner. I want to CTB as I feel I've exhausted all my options and there really is no way out.

I'm depressed as well but it is totally based on my circumstances. I don't think any amount of anti depressants or therapy are going to be able to allow me to tolerate living in this diseased body for much longer.

So sorry. I have health issues too. What disease do you have if you don't mind me asking? You don't have to answer if it's too personal.

 

[Nymph]

You definitely aren't alone:( I also feel that I'm in a hopeless situation,,the only reason why I'm still trying to survive is because of my bunny, I wish I could just off myself tho. My mind is sick

 

[rabbithole]

Oh rabbithole, I can tell you are suffering so much, and it's so unfair that this injury happened to you. You don't deserve it. We are in a similar boat. My chronic fatigue, neuropathy, ibs, ptsd, and autism are why I want to ctb. I am depressed because of these illnesses, it is not something that lacks reasoning or rationality.

I get told the same things though, that I am just depressed because of some mysterious "mental illness" and not because my life is objectively terrible with all these diseases. I get told there are people with these illnesses who are happy, so why can't I be happy and hold out for a very slim chance of a magic cure and recovery being discovered in the future?

They really fail to understand what we are going through.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. You don't deserve your suffering either, of course and I know exactly what you mean...people always reference those who are in worse situations and handling them better. Unfortunately I'm not them. And really, we don't know what those people think. They may be holding on by a thread too. Quality of life is something that can be judged objectively I think and some people just have a shit life. Others really do make the best of a bad situation but they must have crazy emotional and mental fortitude. Or are just impervious to emotional pain lol.

So sorry you're in this situation.

I too feel like I'm backed into a corner. I want to CTB as I feel I've exhausted all my options and there really is no way out.

I'm depressed as well but it is totally based on my circumstances. I don't think any amount of anti depressants or therapy are going to be able to allow me to tolerate living in this diseased body for much longer.

Thank you for your kindness <3

I totally feel backed into a corner as well. And like you said, no amount of therapy or drugs will cure my body. That's the root of the problem for me. Plus before I got injured I had severe mental illnesses - depression, social anxiety and BDD.

You definitely aren't alone:( I also feel that I'm in a hopeless situation,,the only reason why I'm still trying to survive is because of my bunny, I wish I could just off myself tho. My mind is sick

:( I'm sure your bunny appreciates your company

I'm living for my cats. But also my parents and sister. I'm so terrified of their reaction. When I imagine it I feel like I could never ctb.

 

[Leiden]

Im so sorry you are going through this. It's not easy. You are not alone..there is no way out of my hell.

 

[greyhound]

So sorry. I have health issues too. What disease do you have if you don't mind me asking? You don't have to answer if it's too personal.

Late stage Lyme disease. Been trying to treat it for 8 years but not really getting anywhere and losing hope. It's frustrating because some people do manage to get better, but it seems like a complete lottery. So one part of me wants to keep spinning the wheel and trying different treatments but sort of running out of steam at this point.

What about you?

 

[Pookie]

Late stage Lyme disease. Been trying to treat it for 8 years but not really getting anywhere and losing hope. It's frustrating because some people do manage to get better, but it seems like a complete lottery. So one part of me wants to keep spinning the wheel and trying different treatments but sort of running out of steam at this point.

What about you?

What symptoms do you have with late stage Lyme disease? Same here, 8 year struggle but with fibromyalgia which causes chronic widespread pain and associated fatigue. I struggle with insomnia, inflammation issues and a whole bunch of other stuff. Like you, I wish there were more things I could try but there's no cure so I have my back against the wall here.

 

[greyhound]

What symptoms do you have with late stage Lyme disease? Same here, 8 year struggle but with fibromyalgia which causes chronic widespread pain and associated fatigue. I struggle with insomnia, inflammation issues and a whole bunch of other stuff. Like you, I wish there were more things I could try but there's no cure so I have my back against the wall here.

Similar symptoms in a way, a lot of inflammation, constant toxicity from the infections, fatigue. Sort of like you're constantly being poisoned from within. It's slowly driving me crazy.

 

[back2605]

I feel bad for everyone who posts here. I read about people's lives and I just can't understand why some people have it so difficult. I have suffered chronic pain for 25 years that worsened over time. It is a lonely and isolating experience. I hate my situation and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I feel sick to my stomach and profoundly sad when I think about everyone suffering with their particular problems.

 

[Pookie]

Similar symptoms in a way, a lot of inflammation, constant toxicity from the infections, fatigue. Sort of like you're constantly being poisoned from within. It's slowly driving me crazy.

I can relate to that poisoned feeling.

I feel bad for everyone who posts here. I read about people's lives and I just can't understand why some people have it so difficult. I have suffered chronic pain for 25 years that worsened over time. It is a lonely and isolating experience. I hate my situation and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I feel sick to my stomach and profoundly sad when I think about everyone suffering with their particular problems.

25 years! How do you manage? Do you have good pain control?

 

[Meditation guide]

Chronic pain sufferer here too. I wish we could all gather in a big nice room somewhere to do what we have to do together.

 

[back2605]

I can relate to that poisoned feeling.

25 years! How do you manage? Do you have good pain control?

I don't have good pain control unfortunately. I have a family, so I have kept on going, working to earn a living for us. I have had surgeries that have not helped. I am done now, no fight left in me, and will probably be gone as early as March. I have SN, meto, propranolol, and firearms but I'm scared. I have been in pain so long I'm scared of more pain at the end. I am not quite 50 years old, cannot get PPeH. I want to purchase N but haven't the contact info for A.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

My main problem is CV19 is interrupting my retirement and also screwing around with the health of people I know. I live in a low IQ country so the rate of spread is high.

But even if the crisis is solved I for sure will CTB one day to avoid terminal illness or other BS late stage life problems

 

[back2605]

Chronic pain sufferer here too. I wish we could all gather in a big nice room somewhere to do what we have to do together.

Yes. I don't want to die while scared, alone, and in pain.

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't want to die while scared, alone, and in pain.

I can deal with the alone part, but the scared and in pain parts are more difficult.

 

[Pookie]

I have been in pain so long I'm scared of more pain at the end. I am not quite 50 years old, cannot get PPeH. I want to purchase N but haven't the contact info for A.

Are you talking about the Peaceful Pill e-Handbook? You can find the PPEH here. Just scroll down and you'll see it:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

 

[Meditation guide]

I live in a low IQ country so the rate of spread is high.

So do I. Maybe the same as yours.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i know how you feel. in addition to having my reputation destroyed, i'm not getting any younger or healthier. i'll never be able to work again, i can barely provide for my dogs, i'm addicted to several medications. there is literally no hope...

 

[stygal]

I'm disabled and suffer from chronic pain. There are meds that can give me temporary relief but in the long run my muscles will get weaker and weaker and I'll lose the ability to do pretty much anything physically.
It's not terminal but it's pretty much hopeless. I've either ctb soon or live a nursing case in the future. The choice is mine. :(

 

[back2605]

Are you talking about the Peaceful Pill e-Handbook? You can find the PPEH here. Just scroll down and you'll see it:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

Thanks, I had looked at that in the past but I think it was a 2018 version. Is the contact email for A correct in the March 2020 PPEH?

 

[Meditation guide]

It's not terminal but it's pretty much hopeless. I've either ctb soon or live a nursing case in the future. The choice is mine. :(

I'm sorry you are in this horrible situation but it sounds like mine too. I wish we could chat but our profiles are hidden.

 

[adam&eve]

I'm disabled and suffer from chronic pain. There are meds that can give me temporary relief but in the long run my muscles will get weaker and weaker and I'll lose the ability to do pretty much anything physically.
It's not terminal but it's pretty much hopeless. I've either ctb soon or live a nursing case in the future. The choice is mine. :(

God. I am so sorry. And God lets people go through this.... awful. My heart goes to you.

 

[Johnjohn1]

Late stage Lyme disease. Been trying to treat it for 8 years but not really getting anywhere and losing hope. It's frustrating because some people do manage to get better, but it seems like a complete lottery. So one part of me wants to keep spinning the wheel and trying different treatments but sort of running out of steam at this point.

What about you?

Sorry you are going through late-stage Lyme disease! I had Lyme disease as well and I'm not sure if the majority of my health problems are found Lyme disease at this point or the severe damage Levaquin antibiotics to my body. Levaquin is similar to Cipro as they are in the same family of antibiotics and thousands of people have been damaged by them severely. I haven't been able to get any health recovery the past several years and I am losing hope as well. I Googled Lyme and suicide and read that they are over 12,000 suicides per year due to Lyme disease. It's an awful illness

 

[greyhound]

Sorry you are going through late-stage Lyme disease! I had Lyme disease as well and I'm not sure if the majority of my health problems are found Lyme disease at this point or the severe damage Levaquin antibiotics to my body. Levaquin is similar to Cipro as they are in the same family of antibiotics and thousands of people have been damaged by them severely. I haven't been able to get any health recovery the past several years and I am losing hope as well. I Googled Lyme and suicide and read that they are over 12,000 suicides per year due to Lyme disease. It's an awful illness

Sorry to hear you've also got Lyme. I've heard a lot of horror stories about getting floxed.

Yeah I am basically just treading water at this point. Taking antibiotics seems to suppress the symptoms by maybe 30%. Even that level of relief is still not great, but better than nothing. But if I stop taking them for even a couple of weeks everything comes raging back.

A lot of Lyme people commit suicide it's true. I just don't know what other option there is really. I can't imagine living like this for much longer.

 

[Pookie]

Thanks, I had looked at that in the past but I think it was a 2018 version. Is the contact email for A correct in the March 2020 PPEH?

I wasn't aware there was a March 2020 version. Where did you find it?

 

[greebo6]

My situation is pretty much hopeless but I am sorry its like this for you.

 

[Steamm]

I'm in a shithole