Discussion Anyone else here suffer from crippling workplace anxiety?

[Scriptchick55]

Hello everyone I don't post on here often but I needed to get this off my chest. I've suffered from workplace anxiety for many years, before I even got my first job actually. I literally fear work. I may have that phobia "ergophobia" I don't really like to diagnose myself to much so I just say workplace anxiety, performance anxiety, imposter syndrome etc etc. I'm in therapy but no one truly understands and if I can avoid talking about any kind of work I usually do. I started a career in the film industry back in 2016 but I took a break once the pandemic hit and never went back since due to my anxiety, fear of making mistakes and the occasional embarrassment I would receive when I did make big mistakes. I'm turning 28 next month and right now I'm just hiding out in other peoples homes dog sitting. I try to avoid everyone even my friends especially the ones with thriving careers because I get tired of lying about when I'm going back or lying that I'm still actually working depending on who I'm speaking with. My family is supportive for the most part but I feel even they are getting impatient and just don't want to address the big elephant in the room to protect my feelings. I feel it's just best I ctb. I'm never not going to stop caring about what people think. And I know your only really respected if you have thriving career or job with good pay. People can tell me all they want they only care about my personality and not what I do it's all lies. They probably won't care when I'm dead what I did for a living to much but while I'm here living off my grandfather and mother for the most part I'm just a waste of space. My nieces and nephews are only getting older and I love them all so much and I want to be a role model to them and I want them to be able to ask me for anything they need. I can't even fathom watching them all grow up and be super successful and I'm just this bum. I always envy people that have crazy work ethic and "passion". I know being a workaholic is not really supposed to be a good thing but when your in my shoes it's probably the greatest "sickness" to have. No disrespect to anyone affected by workaholics. People love to say just fight don't give in stay alive, you have so much to live for. But if don't want to "contribute" anything to society and sit around I wonder if my life is valuable then? Sorry for long post once I start writing it's hard to stop lol. My mom just had to bury my grandmother a month ago so probably not the best time to exit out of here like I planned for this year but if i make it to 30 it will be a miracle. Thanks in advance for you all support and kind words

 

[lonelyguy]

It's a crappy feeling having to wake up to go to a place that makes you anxious everyday. I've always felt that way with every job I've ever had as far back as summer jobs when I was in high school and college. I've been at the same company for 21 years now. It's a brain dead boring job that I hate. It helps with my anxiety because I know what I'm doing everyday but at the same time it gives me no satisfaction and I would dread waking up everyday to go to work.

 

[StillBreathing]

We are brainwashed by society to make it seem like a "good education/career", money, house, having kids etc. is what makes you a good person. This is just to make it easier to cope with the slavery forced upon us today called "a full time job". 40 Hours a week might have been the norm 100 years ago but today things are done 1000x more efficiently. We shouldn't have to work ourselves to death literally and I think this drains most people of their happiness and enjoyment of life.

I understand you need money, and that is why we force ourselves to do this every week, but never think that you should be something your not - only to look good in other's eyes. This is your life and you can do with it as you please. Find something you are able to do comfortably and enjoy your life while you still can.

No wonder people want to CTB in this shitty corporate world.

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

i do have that kind of anxiety too. more broadly i have social anxiety but having a job is especially terrifying to me and i dont think i could actually hold a job for long. i gave up on trying to get a job, i dont want to be a wage slave anyway.

a person's worth has nothing to do with what they "contribute". and work has nothing to do with "contributing" anything, its only purpose is to exploit us and enrich the wealthy. unfortunately we're basically forced into it, its "work or die" basically. and personally i choose dying over being a wage slave. some ppl have the wealth and privilege to not have to work, but the rest of us are left to starve if we dont toil.

 

[hellispink]

Thats why i don't work. Every job i had my anxiety was so bad that i cried before entering rhe shift and i cried after leaving it. Then while at home i cried too thinking i had to go back next day. It is pure hell

 

[Scriptchick55]

Thats why i don't work. Every job i had my anxiety was so bad that i cried before entering rhe shift and i cried after leaving it. Then while at home i cried too thinking i had to go back next day. It is pure hell

That was me as well when I worked on set. How do you deal with people potentially judging you for not working if you don't mind me asking?

We are brainwashed by society to make it seem like a "good education/career", money, house, having kids etc. is what makes you a good person. This is just to make it easier to cope with the slavery forced upon us today called "a full time job". 40 Hours a week might have been the norm 100 years ago but today things are done 1000x more efficiently. We shouldn't have to work ourselves to death literally and I think this drains most people of their happiness and enjoyment of life.

I understand you need money, and that is why we force ourselves to do this every week, but never think that you should be something your not - only to look good in other's eyes. This is your life and you can do with it as you please. Find something you are able to do comfortably and enjoy your life while you still can.

No wonder people want to CTB in this shitty corporate world.

I'm pretty comfortable with dog sitting but I don't make much money and even my own clients sometimes judge me when they assume I only do dog sitting for a living, until I tell them about my "film career" then they have a big smile on their face and now I'm a "productive" member of society again

 

[StillBreathing]

That was me as well when I worked on set. How do you deal with people potentially judging you for not working if you don't mind me asking?

I'm pretty comfortable with dog sitting but I don't make much money and even my own clients sometimes judge me when they assume I only do dog sitting for a living, until I tell them about my "film career" then they have a big smile on their face and now I'm a "productive" member of society again

Very understandable, maybe you could find another part time you enjoy and supplement it with your dog-sitting?

Most people identify themself by their job.
I hate it when I meet a new person, it's always the same question; "What do you do for a living?"

Does it really matter? Why not ask me about my hobbies or what I do in my free time. Or ask me if I'm happy.

I'm a software engineer and people always say it's such a good job. But when you are forced to do something 40 hours a week 9-5, it doesn't matter what you do, it will still suck. I'm considering working less hours so I can have more free time.. Days off from work are worth much more than the money I'd receive imo.

You can always find more money, but you only have so much time on this earth. Why not enjoy it as much as you can. I don't want to waste my life slaving away, making some rich guy even richer.. The entire system is built in favor of the rich.

 

[downndone2]

I'm not working right now which started due to medical, now I'm having a hard time with finding work due to anxiety and crippling agorophobia. I am also terrified of what my anxiety is going to be like when I return to work

 

[hellispink]

That was me as well when I worked on set. How do you deal with people potentially judging you for not working if you don't mind me asking?

I'm pretty comfortable with dog sitting but I don't make much money and even my own clients sometimes judge me when they assume I only do dog sitting for a living, until I tell them about my "film career" then they have a big smile on their face and now I'm a "productive" member of society again

To this day I live with my parents who humiliate me every way they can. Everytime of my existence they remind me how useless they perceived me as. They compare with everyone else and what they do for living or what they have accomplished. It just makes life more miserable than what already is. One of my reasons to die is that I acknowledged that i don't wanna keep being treated so poorly by people like my parents which they dont understand how horrible anxiety is for us.

 

[Scriptchick55]

Very understandable, maybe you could find another part time you enjoy and supplement it with your dog-sitting?

Most people identify themself by their job.
I hate it when I meet a new person, it's always the same question; "What do you do for a living?"

Does it really matter? Why not ask me about my hobbies or what I do in my free time. Or ask me if I'm happy.

I'm a software engineer and people always say it's such a good job. But when you are forced to do something 40 hours a week 9-5, it doesn't matter what you do, it will still suck. I'm considering working less hours so I can have more free time.. Days off from work are worth much more than the money I'd receive imo.

You can always find more money, but you only have so much time on this earth. Why not enjoy it as much as you can. I don't want to waste my life slaving away, making some rich guy even richer.. The entire system is built in favor of the rich.

I'm not even sure if I wanna do that. I don't even care anymore how much I make. I think I just stated how little I make because I'm caring what people think even everyone on here. If people think I have a problem with the small amount I make at least they will see I'm trying to find something better. A habit I definitely need to break lol.

To this day I live with my parents who humiliate me every way they can. Everytime of my existence they remind me how useless they perceived me as. They compare with everyone else and what they do for living or what they have accomplished. It just makes life more miserable than what already is. One of my reasons to die is that I acknowledged that i don't wanna keep being treated so poorly by people like my parents which they dont understand how horrible anxiety is for us.

I'm so sorry you have to experience that. My grandfather will throw shade here and there and even that stings from time to time. My mother and siblings are pretty supportive especially my mother. She quit her dental assistant job at like 49 due to anxiety hasn't gone back since she's 60 now so she really gets it. But then when someone takes their life over it all of a sudden what we did or didn't do for a living don't matter anymore smh

 

[SexyIncél]

I feel it's just best I ctb. I'm never not going to stop caring about what people think. And I know your only really respected if you have thriving career or job with good pay. ... I always envy people that have crazy work ethic and "passion".

I respect you more for fearing work, than some obedient cultist with crazy work ethic, assignable curiosity, and that mad "passionate" gleam in their eyes

There's more helpful things for me to do in this world, than any job I've seen. Every minute some absurd job takes from me, it steals from whatever helpful or fun thing I'd do instead. That makes me very anxious

I think I just stated how little I make because I'm caring what people think even everyone on here.

If you take enough cult points, they let you eat nutritious food, drink unleaded water, sleep in a bed, have dignity. But decent people are more concerned about the cult system itself, than how many you have