Anyone else have to wait?

[MutatedFlower]

Yes, june 16 for SN and I cannot wait; I can't bear the pain. The orginal date june 9th got pushed back... Even a few days feels unbearable to me.

 

[heretogethelp]

I can't ctb for a few months at the very least, and I'm going crazy. It does give me more time to think about the decision, but at this point I'm at least 85% sure I want to ctb so waiting around is just making it worse.

Does ahyone else have to wait before they can make their decisions, due to factors outside their control? I can't obtain SN right now otherwise I'd have already kicked the bucket.

I have to wait until September or October when there will be money in my debit card account.

 

[Rayzieka]

I've got everything I need besides an apartment to do it alone in.
I'd rather not do it here but I might decide it doesn't matter.
I've got SN and I'm going to use olanzapine.

 

[deepinlimbo]

I have my method picked out but because it's the gold standard of CTB I don't think I have the courage to order it. I've got enough problems without a criminal record.

still I guess the rope is always there.

 

[Wrennie]

I have my method picked out but because it's the gold standard of CTB I don't think I have the courage to order it. I've got enough problems without a criminal record.

still I guess the rope is always there.

The illegality of my method of choice is what's holding me back as well.

That, and ironically my father literally works for a security company that develops technologies to screen packages for illegal drugs.

 

[deepinlimbo]

The illegality of my method of choice is what's holding me back as well.

That, and ironically my father literally works for a security company that develops technologies to screen packages for illegal drugs.

That's very ironic.

my old self would call that a sign of some kind. Now I just see it as a hindrance.

 

[Wrennie]

That's very ironic.

my old self would call that a sign of some kind. Now I just see it as a hindrance.

I ceased to believe there was any meaning to life after my stay in the ICU & psych ward when I was sectioned after a failed suicide attempt. Humanity is an anomaly. Ultimately we're just organic matter being tortured by biochemical processes we don't fully understand.

 

[deepinlimbo]

I ceased to believe there was any meaning to life after my stay in the ICU & psych ward when I was sectioned after a failed suicide attempt. Humanity is an anomaly. Ultimately we're just organic matter being tortured by biochemical processes we don't fully understand.

I've always believed the meaning of life is making the most of what you have and forging your own path as best you can. If you want a family then that's your meaning of life, if you want a nice car and amazing holidays then that's your meaning of life. Just to be happy. That's all anyone wants.

but I get how your experience has shaped your view, I feel very dissolutioned with life right now. I hate that I do. I was never meant to be this way.

 

[Wrennie]

I've always believed the meaning of life is making the most of what you have and forging your own path as best you can. If you want a family then that's your meaning of life, if you want a nice car and amazing holidays then that's your meaning of life. Just to be happy. That's all anyone wants.

but I get how your experience has shaped your view, I feel very dissolutioned with life right now. I hate that I do. I was never meant to be this way.

I just wanted to be healthy. That's all I wanted and it's impossible for me now, so my life has lost its meaning. My bed is now my life.

 

[deepinlimbo]

I just wanted to be healthy. That's all I wanted and it's impossible for me now, so my life has lost its meaning. My bed is now my life.

I feel you, I know how that feels.

 

[Wrennie]

I feel you, I know how that feels.

I'm so sorry. Nobody should be forced to feel this way, ever. I'd wish it upon no one.

 

[Mentalmick]

Finally got hold of some sn so it's there when the time comes. Quite comforting actually. Patiently waiting in my cupboard to flood my system with doom.

 

[deepinlimbo]

I'm so sorry. Nobody should be forced to feel this way, ever. I'd wish it upon no one.

Thanks, but It's not your fault, just the ways things are. No one deserves to be unhappy except maybe hitler and Stalin and well I could go on. My point is like you stated no one should have to deal with pain that they can't cope with.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I have to wait until next month to order my SN... At least this gives me ample time to wonder if this is really what I want.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah, if I planned to do it around now it would be hard to get significant time on my own for a method to succeed. I guess I am held off by lack of a good method really and I have fears about methods going wrong. I want to leave this earth as peacefully as possible but it really is hard to take our own lives.