Discussion anyone else have an abusive childhood?

[tieiwi]

I recently got called out for making a totally rude and insensitive comment about parents whose kids ctb. My anger in that comment was towards abusive parents who like to act shocked when their kid ctbs because of their harmful actions. But I didn't specify so it was just me assuming for all parents. Replies told me I shouldn't assume about the parents because some are kind and just trying their best. They're right. The fact that there are parents who nice and try for their kids totally flew over my head. I guess my negative view towards parents and families really narrowed my way of thinking. Anyone else who grew up in an abusive household experience this? Ever see some aspect of another persons life and think wow that actually exists? Has your childhood changed the way you view certain things?

 

[Rain_Hermit]

I think this might be valid here.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

My parents will be one of those narcissistic liars who will make up whatever suits them once I'm dead so they can absolve themselves of responsibility. I think it happens far more than most people think and I don't blame you for getting angry.

I don't trust anyone unless they give me genuine reasons to and subconsciously I expect the worst from people so my abusive upbringing definitely shaped how I view others. Seeing people talk about their normal families that support them emotionally and financially is like a alien concept to me.

 

[AtMostOkay]

Of course. The physical and mental abuse endured at the hands of my parents changed my brain forever. I am the only person I can trust, and then incompletely. Peace to us all.

 

[tieiwi]

My parents will be one of those narcissistic liars who will make up whatever suits them once I'm dead so they can absolve themselves of responsibility. I think it happens far more than most people think and I don't blame you for getting angry.

I don't trust anyone unless they give me genuine reasons to and subconsciously I expect the worst from people so my abusive upbringing definitely shaped how I view others. Seeing people talk about their normal families that support them emotionally and financially is like a alien concept to me.

I relate to you about the parent part. I've noticed that whenever I meet people I always assume about their 'dark side'. Since I would always see my parents be nice in public then go absolute batshit crazy at home. I started to assume that everyone was like that at least somewhat.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I recently got called out for making a totally rude and insensitive comment about parents whose kids ctb. My anger in that comment was towards abusive parents who like to act shocked when their kid ctbs because of their harmful actions. But I didn't specify so it was just me assuming for all parents. Replies told me I shouldn't assume about the parents because some are kind and just trying their best. They're right. The fact that there are parents who nice and try for their kids totally flew over my head. I guess my negative view towards parents and families really narrowed my way of thinking. Anyone else who grew up in an abusive household experience this? Ever see some aspect of another persons life and think wow that actually exists? Has your childhood changed the way you view certain things?

I saw that post and didn't agree with the backlash you received, theres a trend on these forums of people addressing an invisible audience rather than specific people for some weird reason. I understood the point you were trying to make, but I didn't chime in cause I understood their points as well. I guess I got your point cause my family stinks. I wasn't abused as much as I was neglected. My parents are not indecent people but they are both...uhhh, not very intelligent, or adaptive.

 

[gottago222]

im sorry i attacked you in that thread. i assumed you were attacking the parents in the vid whom we kno nothing about at all

 

[Crazy4u]

Yes, both of them are abusive. My relatives are also abusive.

I read the back and forth discussions about parents and CTB of kids. Here are my random thoughts:

- I don't have official stats, but I expect kids ctb to be related to issues at school or at home. YouTube generally highlights issues at school and bullying related suicide. They don't cover any home-related issues
- Many mental disorders are rooted back to childhood according to DSM book. Examples are BPD, autism, ...etc. The book also mentions suicide risk under every mental illness category. Most of the categories show higher suicide risk by a certain percentage

I was feeling better the last few days because I'm less suicidal in January (long story). I woke up today thinking about a potential problem with my mom and felt like I have to hurry up and prepare for CTB before it is too late.

 

[little helpers]

there are things I don't feel comfortable talking but here's a easier (and definitely comical) one. when I moved in with my roomies during college, I, for the first time, felt like it's a home, and found myself wanting to call them mom and dad. emm, little helpers, y'all were 18 at that time lol.

also wanna say it's nice seeing everyone here come to a place of understanding. :)

 

[tieiwi]

im sorry i attacked you in that thread. i assumed you were attacking the parents in the vid whom we kno nothing about at all

ur good! i didn't specify who my comment was for anyway so there was bound to be confusion

I have no reason to justify who I am today other than to blame it on my family, not only my parents but my uncles and aunt as well. I became abusive like them but I don't want to hurt anyone, it seems like my brain hurts others without me wanting to. ill isolate myself so I don't hurt anyone anymore

I feel the same way about wanting to isolate yourself. No one needs to get hurt and I get to be alone. A win-win situation for me.

I saw that post and didn't agree with the backlash you received, theres a trend on these forums of people addressing an invisible audience rather than specific people for some weird reason. I understood the point you were trying to make, but I didn't chime in cause I understood their points as well. I guess I got your point cause my family stinks. I wasn't abused as much as I was neglected. My parents are not indecent people but they are both...uhhh, not very intelligent, or adaptive.

My point could've been made better for sure. Definitely was a me getting emotional/heat of the moment thing. I can only speak about abusive parents. So being introduced to a new perspective was very different for me. I forgot people actually love their parents oops. Just proves to show how much an abusive childhood can affect you. The point I was trying to make was abusive parents love to act like they didn't do anything wrong or say they "don't remember" any of the abuse and that just pisses me off. I'm sorry about your situation, I hope you are able to find the peace you need.