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Leichter Kampfwagen

Leichter Kampfwagen

(LK1)
Dec 24, 2023
27
I honestly don't even know why any of this is happening to me. So many people would kill to be given my starting hand and yet I want to throw it all away.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,362
Yup. And yet I'm too stupid and incompetent to use it well.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,167
Idk about your starting hand but if it is that good maybe we should trade. Also, dunno about your age - that's certainly sth that plays a role with a starting hand for a new life.
 
Shrike

Shrike

My pain isn't yours to harvest.
Feb 13, 2024
95
Currently? Sure. I've managed to drag myself to a good country. My industry is well paying. I have a mortgage. I have savings.

My starting hand? Idk that most people would want the hand of "you are age 4 and caregivers are already complaining about you to your parents." I no longer have any confusion as to why things happened to me the way they did. Most of my confusion was caused by listening to people who have no idea what they're talking about.
 
dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue please don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
653
It feels so awful to see people struggling with their everyday challenges and still not be able to be truly grateful for what I have.
Yesterday I called my mom and she talked to me about how she's in pain, she has to go to the hospital and there's a lot to do at home. She has to take care of her disabled parents, she has full time job and way too many tasks to manage to do them on time. And there I am, her daughter, rotting in bed every single day, too lazy to cook herself a dinner, with a dirty apartment, barely working and spending all of her money on therapy and meds that aren't working.

I'm not even able to tell her about my life. I keep lying. How could I ever look her in the eye? I'm so ungrateful and I don't deserve what I have.
 
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Leichter Kampfwagen

Leichter Kampfwagen

(LK1)
Dec 24, 2023
27
It feels so awful to see people struggling with their everyday challenges and still not be able to be truly grateful for what I have.
Yesterday I called my mom and she talked to me about how she's in pain, she has to go to the hospital and there's a lot to do at home. She has to take care of her disabled parents, she has full time job and way too many tasks to manage to do them on time. And there I am, her daughter, rotting in bed every single day, too lazy to cook herself a dinner, with a dirty apartment, barely working and spending all of her money on therapy and meds that aren't working.

I'm not even able to tell her about my life. I keep lying. How could I ever look her in the eye? I'm so ungrateful and I don't deserve what I have.
My parents also work to pay for my therapy and meds that I don't want and don't work, while I rot in bed. I do help with dinner though. I'm a PoS.
 
B

barkbark

Jan 22, 2024
66
theoretically yes, but in practice no. i was born into a middle class family and though i'm queer i'm even in one of the safest states, though not counties, in the US for lgbtq+ people.

but frankly detailing your "starting hand" needs to also account for the trauma from a dysfunctional and neglectful family, mental health issues, neurodivergence, etc. it's not as simple as it looks on paper and id assume from an outsiders point of view it looks like i have nothing to complain about, but if you knew my family and the way i grew up you'd understand entirely why i am the way i am.

i think this also applies to most people with severe depression — depression is a disease that doesn't let you recognize you have one, so you just think you're lazy or not trying hard enough rather than you having a debilitating disease that eats away at your mind and makes you rot away.
 
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