Hey.
I already had a plethora of health issues. Mainly
- gyno stuff: pcos. Few periods. Unbearable cramps. High testosterone. Ovarian cysts that explode and send me to the ER.
- GI stuff: diagnosed with SIBO/IBS, got told I'm "a very, very, very bad case" by my doctor. Nausea all day everyday, occasional unbearable cramps, burps, constipation.
Now, to make it all worse, out of the blue, I developed PGAD (please don't be weird about it, it's hell on earth). Basically, my genitals feel constantly, 24/7, as if I'm on the verge of coming. I repeat, it might seem funny but it's hell, it's painful and distracting. "Taking care of it" doesn't help at all, only and I'm back to square one after just a couple of seconds.
I can't do it anymore. I could already hardly live with the debilitating nausea from SIBO, I could hardly live with the terrible cramps from PCOS that would leave me squirming on the ground screaming from the pain, but at least there were are a few things that could help (though in 2 years of attempts still no progress). But I grew used to the nausea and cramps. This? This is absolutely unbearable. I feel like I'm going completely mad.
I was planning on hanging myself if things got too unbearable, but this... This makes everything impossible. Thinking is hard, planning is hard. I've found a nice bridge that's already been used successfully for suicide, so that'll probably be the way. I'm just angry that so much was taken from me, now the way I wanted to die has been taken too. I wish we could have a second chance at life.
I've learnt that when health goes awry with chronic conditions, it can only get worse. After the first chronic diagnosis (SIBO), everything got worse and worse and worse and diagnoses kept coming - PGAD is the most recent one and it is so rare that there is not even research on it. You're on your own, left unable to do anything but squirm in suffering.
Tl;Dr not really original here, but I want to die. If anyone would like to keep me a bit of company while I sort things out, or like... help me sort things things out before, not about the plan but like how to write letters to everyone that loves me and stuff, as I'm not good with writing.. or if someone else has PGAD (but I think it's too rare to happen)... either of those, that would really help a lot. Thank you.
I already had a plethora of health issues. Mainly
- gyno stuff: pcos. Few periods. Unbearable cramps. High testosterone. Ovarian cysts that explode and send me to the ER.
- GI stuff: diagnosed with SIBO/IBS, got told I'm "a very, very, very bad case" by my doctor. Nausea all day everyday, occasional unbearable cramps, burps, constipation.
Now, to make it all worse, out of the blue, I developed PGAD (please don't be weird about it, it's hell on earth). Basically, my genitals feel constantly, 24/7, as if I'm on the verge of coming. I repeat, it might seem funny but it's hell, it's painful and distracting. "Taking care of it" doesn't help at all, only and I'm back to square one after just a couple of seconds.
I can't do it anymore. I could already hardly live with the debilitating nausea from SIBO, I could hardly live with the terrible cramps from PCOS that would leave me squirming on the ground screaming from the pain, but at least there were are a few things that could help (though in 2 years of attempts still no progress). But I grew used to the nausea and cramps. This? This is absolutely unbearable. I feel like I'm going completely mad.
I was planning on hanging myself if things got too unbearable, but this... This makes everything impossible. Thinking is hard, planning is hard. I've found a nice bridge that's already been used successfully for suicide, so that'll probably be the way. I'm just angry that so much was taken from me, now the way I wanted to die has been taken too. I wish we could have a second chance at life.
I've learnt that when health goes awry with chronic conditions, it can only get worse. After the first chronic diagnosis (SIBO), everything got worse and worse and worse and diagnoses kept coming - PGAD is the most recent one and it is so rare that there is not even research on it. You're on your own, left unable to do anything but squirm in suffering.
Tl;Dr not really original here, but I want to die. If anyone would like to keep me a bit of company while I sort things out, or like... help me sort things things out before, not about the plan but like how to write letters to everyone that loves me and stuff, as I'm not good with writing.. or if someone else has PGAD (but I think it's too rare to happen)... either of those, that would really help a lot. Thank you.
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