Anyone else frown upon teen suicide?

[Weebster]

I think their underdeveloped brains aren't mature enough to make a decision like suicide. It seems to be done by them on impulse due to a bad event that they would eventually overcome in time. There's always exceptions though like ongoing abuse that one can't escape, but even then they could get emancipated maybe.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I frown upon any teens who are on this website and potentially creating more Fixthe26 members out of their parents in the process just by being here.

 

[Weebster]

I frown upon any teens who are on this website and potentially creating more Fixthe26 members out of their parents in the process just by being here.

And when they ctb, they stupidly
don't wipe their phone or computer.

 

[NorseHel]

I wouldn't say look down on frown upon*, but I'd agree in that age range the emphasis should definitely be a lot more on recovery where possible. God knows I was a lot more emotionally volatile in my teen years, and who knows some of those that make it to adulthood may find themselves in a better place to recover. Not in a "things get better!" way, more so "things change". A friend of mine is in a much better place now than she was in her teens and I for one am very glad she was able to push through.

Of course there's terminal, or non-terminal but absolutely life destroying, illnesses and conditions that I think should give anyone a free pass.

 

[ThePaleWhiteLight]

I think their underdeveloped brains aren't mature enough to make a decision like suicide. It seems to be done by them on impulse due to a bad event that they would eventually overcome in time. There's always exceptions though like ongoing abuse that one can't escape, but even then they could get emancipated maybe.

No. I believe that, with the exception of physically harming someone, anyone should be able to do anything they wish.

 

[Weebster]

No. I believe that, with the exception of physically harming someone, anyone should be able to do anything they wish.

ANYTHING they wish? Lol What world do you live in?

 

[Dustys-sister]

I think their underdeveloped brains aren't mature enough to make a decision like suicide. It seems to be done by them on impulse due to a bad event that they would eventually overcome in time. There's always exceptions though like ongoing abuse that one can't escape, but even then they could get emancipated maybe.

 

[Al_stargate]

Teens can go through everything adults go through. Illness, abuse, trauma, hardship, expectations, pressure, etc. Because they're teens that don't make their suffering lesser. But they have a better chance of things turning around. Teens also don't have a full comprehension of adult life so in a way can't make a completely rational choice. Killing yourself because of some emotional state that will seem like nothing when you're adult is not a good reason.

 

[Weebster]

Teens can go through everything adults go through. Illness, abuse, trauma, hardship, expectations, pressure, etc. Because they're teens that don't make their suffering lesser. But they have a better chance of things turning around. Teens also don't have a full comprehension of adult life so in a way can't make a completely rational choice. Killing yourself because of some emotional state that will seem like nothing when you're adult is not a good reason.

Teens aren't considered autonomous creatures until the age of adulthood, which varies by location, for a reason.

 

[Superdeterminist]

No. I think that's an invalid reason to condemn suicide. You're not all-knowing about the brain, you don't know exactly how its development correlates with suicidal thinking. It should be obvious that the relationship between the two is not straightforward, since some people remain suicidal after adolescence, and others don't. You're basically making an "it gets better" argument against suicide which imo is just a bad argument. Because you don't know what's going to happen, and nor does anyone else. And you're also suggesting that just because something improves eventually, that means waiting around in the shit for it to improve must be worth it, which is another thing I disagree with.

 

[edu0z]

I want to die and I wish I had died at the age of 11.

 

[Weebster]

No. I think that's an invalid reason to condemn suicide. You're not all-knowing about the brain, you don't know exactly how its development correlates with suicidal thinking. It should be obvious that the relationship between the two is not straightforward, since some people remain suicidal after adolescence, and others don't. You're basically making an "it gets better" argument against suicide which imo is just a bad argument. Because you don't know what's going to happen, and nor does anyone else. And you're also suggesting that just because something improves eventually, that means waiting around in the shit for it to improve must be worth it, which is another thing I disagree with.

It's not like they ultimately lose anything by waiting til their 20s. No one is saying to wait decades.

 

[Dustys-sister]

When I was 13 I committed suicide and was dead 14 minutes before being revived. I was mad - absolutely furious to be back. Being a teen is one of the hardest and misunderstood times in life. Teens only have other teens who actually listen to them and they often feel more confused and alone. Many adults feel the teen will just "grow out of it" or put then on medication to "help" them. With social media being what it is today, teens are filled with false ideas of how they should act, look, and live which makes life feel even worse when they can't meet those expectations. We need more programs where teens can speak freely about their thoughts, dreams, and fears without repercussions and with people who have walked a mile in their shoes. I was lucky to find the BIG SISTER/BIG BROTHER program in the 1980's where I met a 23yr old who had a background extremely similar to mine (sexual abuse, physical abuse, growing up with an alcoholic mother...) and I related with her.
I agree that those young years are extremely formidable and we must not forget that. They are young, scared, and in need of someone to relate to and hopefully Inspire them to take it day by day and find a way to enjoy life hour by hour.
I cannot condole teen suicide but I understand it.

 

[Weebster]

I want to die and I wish I had died at the age of 11.

So? Does that mean all sad 11 yr olds should die?

 

[Superdeterminist]

It's not like they ultimately lose anything by waiting til their 20s. No one is saying to wait decades.

They very well might lose a lot, since they might consider waiting even 1 more year to be extremely painful, if their mental state and life circumstances are poor enough. And so you're suggesting everyone wait until 20 before ctb? Unfortunately the felt urgency to ctb is often too great to allow for that. Their despair isn't some watered-down, kiddie version just because of their lesser age.

 

[ThePaleWhiteLight]

ANYTHING they wish? Lol What world do you live in?

I know that isn't the world we live in. It is the world humanity must push for.

 

[Sittichmutter]

Yes. O totally disapprove teen suicide.
Having Lost my 15 year old to CTB who was being treated for depression, I do not believe he did the right thing.

 

[ThePaleWhiteLight]

my 15 year old

while I am sorry you had to go through that, I will be frank: he wasn't "yours" in a sense of possessorship.

 

[YourNeighbor]

while I am sorry you had to go through that, I will be frank: he wasn't "yours" in a sense of possessorship.

Really, if you're not an native English speaker, don't try to correct others' English. If you are a native speaker, this is one of the most ridiculous comments on here. People here don't need harassment, so save it.

 

[sleepyghost]

I have mixed emotions about this. I definitely made attempts in my teen years and prior but I didn't have the mental capacity to fully understand the impact of what I was doing. I only understood how it would impact me if I succeeded, but I didn't even consider that I could have ended up brain dead from failed attempts or how attempts (success or failure) would impact my friends/family.
I don't think that a person who is not legally able to consent for themselves, based on age, should attempt suicide. It is not enough "life lived" to understand a trajectory, nor is it enough time to try all options for recovery. It is a decision that has a bigger result than most younger people can fully comprehend, and is more troublesome as these people are seen like "possessions" under the law. (shitty phrasing but that's my experience with it)
So many things change after a persons teen years, and I think it's hard to comprehend that as a teen.

It's hard to rationalize exiting a life before:
1. Being out of an abusive or neglectful environment
2. Having full autonomy over oneself (legal and financial)
3. Having a full concept of what life "could be" (Understanding that successfully ending one's life does prevent things getting worse, but it also removes the opportunity for things to get better too)
4. Having a solid concept of actions and possible effects (informed consent, success v failure /impact on family, friends, community/ potential "copycat" actions of loved ones)
5. Trying all options (every possible medication, therapy, etc. if the tools are there and they will work, it would suck for a whole human to miss out on 60 full years of a good life based on the first 15 being shitty)

*In cases of terminal illness and chronic pain w/ out relief from medication, my thoughts honestly vary, case by case, regarding young people.

*I can't look down on teens who make attempts because I was one, but I do hate when young people reach their breaking point so early on. My heart aches over it endlessly.

 

[Sittichmutter]

while I am sorry you had to go through that, I will be frank: he wasn't "yours" in a sense of possessorship.

Well, I am not Native speaker.
How should I refer to "my" son?

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that people should not be forced to live. If someone chooses to leave this world then that is their decision and it is nothing to do with anyone else. We have no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. I wish I left when I was a teenager, things have only gotten worse for me since then, at 21 I am tired of living. Life is just meaningless suffering after all, there is no point to living, so why should people be forced to live if they don't want to.

 

[Insomniac]

I frown upon people from certain age group thinking they know better simply based on their own age and experience. Someone in their 70s could frown on you wanting to commit suicide and how would you answer?

I myself a. 25 and one of my regrets is to have lacked the courage to end it at 15.

 

[YourNeighbor]

Well, I am not Native speaker.
How should I refer to "my" son?

Ignore that troll. Possessive pronouns are used to indicate interpersonal relationships, and not just property ownership, in every European language I can think of including English.

 

[Siterfau]

I agree with Hidden Base. This line of thinking can honestly just be broken down into "It gets better". "It gets better" because you start to think differently, given enough time. "It gets better" because circumstances change. Which isn't exactly untrue, but it's not really clear to me why I'd frown upon just us teenagers committing suicide rather than just suicide altogether at that point.

Telling myself that I'll think differently in the future doesn't really make the problems I'm facing now go away.

 

[Riddle]

I am new here but I have seen this discussed now in multiple threads and in chat. I have noticed a trend that

1. Most older (above 30) people would agree that whatever you are going through as a teen, obviously extreme examples excluded, it is usually worth it to try and tough it out as your priorities and perspective changes as you get older and there is good chance of recovery. Some people on here will say "well I never recovered" but a lot if not most do and you just do not hear from them because they are not on ctb forums.
2. And the people on his forum who defend young people ctb'n are usually the young adults/teens stating their pain is no different than the pain of older peoples. While I do agree with that statement, ultimately we do possess something that you do not, which is our age. And we know what is like to look back and think about how irrational some of our actions/emotions were in the scheme of things. As somebody said earlier in this thread, those years are an emotional rollercoaster and it is easy to get overwhelmingly consumed by your social status, trauma, grades, etc.

Being older myself, I am in line with the thinking in #1. So for any young people reading this, if most older people are saying very similar things, there must be some truth to it. And it is worth fighting through to see if things change for you. And as a ctb community I think we should do whatever we can to discourage young people from making this decision. On one "goodbye" thread I did see an individual ask OP to explain "why they have come to this decision, what their age is, how long they have been struggling, what their traumas was, etc". I know it is impossible to truly understand what somebody else is going through, but I think this line of questioning can help gauge where the OP is at and if really is the right path.

Obviously, every situation is different and I am speaking broadly. I also don't mean to come off as snobby like "listen to your elders" or "we know better", when I was a teen I'm sure I would have said the same thing you all are and say "you just don't understand, you'll never understand" like I said to my mom countless times lol

 

[sighplus10]

"And it is worth fighting through to see if things change for you." but thats the thing though; i never signed up and agreed to fight in the first place. whether you win or lose a war matters not to the soldier who has nothing to lose, and never wanted to be there

 

[ornitier199]

And when they ctb, they stupidly
don't wipe their phone or computer.

I wouldn't do this when I ctb why should I?

 

[Mtnwildflowers]

When I was 13 I committed suicide and was dead 14 minutes before being revived. I was mad - absolutely furious to be back. Being a teen is one of the hardest and misunderstood times in life. Teens only have other teens who actually listen to them and they often feel more confused and alone. Many adults feel the teen will just "grow out of it" or put then on medication to "help" them. With social media being what it is today, teens are filled with false ideas of how they should act, look, and live which makes life feel even worse when they can't meet those expectations. We need more programs where teens can speak freely about their thoughts, dreams, and fears without repercussions and with people who have walked a mile in their shoes. I was lucky to find the BIG SISTER/BIG BROTHER program in the 1980's where I met a 23yr old who had a background extremely similar to mine (sexual abuse, physical abuse, growing up with an alcoholic mother...) and I related with her.
I agree that those young years are extremely formidable and we must not forget that. They are young, scared, and in need of someone to relate to and hopefully Inspire them to take it day by day and find a way to enjoy life hour by hour.
I cannot condole teen suicide but I understand it.

I think what others have said is that they understand it, but waiting until you're older has a chance of changing things so that chance should be fought for more than when you're older. People who say "the teen years are so hard"..wait until you get older..sorry but it continues to get harder for a lot of people. Some it gets better, some worse. You still have a better chance of the "some gets better" when you're a teen. I thought my teen years were "so hard"..sorry the surprise in life can be it gets even worse. What I thought was hard in my teens is nothing compared to what I face now. Is it better to die as a teen then people might ask? Hard to answer because again you still may have a shot. When you put decades into recovery and it doesn't work out then I think the decision is more straight forward. If you aren't up for the decades of trying then who am I to say what the right choice is..I feel more comfortable with my decision to commit suicide because of those decades of trying. Teens also choose a lot of less lethal methods and have second chances. They can't understand the things that make their attempts less fatal in my life experience working with teens who have attempted primarily for impulsive, emotional reasons.

I wouldn't do this when I ctb why should I?

So the rest of us can continue enjoying having a community to talk to about suicide and related topics when we have no one else. Haven't you seen the article trying to shut it down? That result is horrible for people trying to find support for this
O

I am new here but I have seen this discussed now in multiple threads and in chat. I have noticed a trend that

1. Most older (above 30) people would agree that whatever you are going through as a teen, obviously extreme examples excluded, it is usually worth it to try and tough it out as your priorities and perspective changes as you get older and there is good chance of recovery. Some people on here will say "well I never recovered" but a lot if not most do and you just do not hear from them because they are not on ctb forums.
2. And the people on his forum who defend young people ctb'n are usually the young adults/teens stating their pain is no different than the pain of older peoples. While I do agree with that statement, ultimately we do possess something that you do not, which is our age. And we know what is like to look back and think about how irrational some of our actions/emotions were in the scheme of things. As somebody said earlier in this thread, those years are an emotional rollercoaster and it is easy to get overwhelmingly consumed by your social status, trauma, grades, etc.

Being older myself, I am in line with the thinking in #1. So for any young people reading this, if most older people are saying very similar things, there must be some truth to it. And it is worth fighting through to see if things change for you. And as a ctb community I think we should do whatever we can to discourage young people from making this decision. On one "goodbye" thread I did see an individual ask OP to explain "why they have come to this decision, what their age is, how long they have been struggling, what their traumas was, etc". I know it is impossible to truly understand what somebody else is going through, but I think this line of questioning can help gauge where the OP is at and if really is the right path.

Obviously, every situation is different and I am speaking broadly. I also don't mean to come off as snobby like "listen to your elders" or "we know better", when I was a teen I'm sure I would have said the same thing you all are and say "you just don't understand, you'll never understand" like I said to my mom countless times lol

i think you nailed a lot of it. Give your chance to work through more situational causes of wanting to commit suicide. Your pain is valid. But say you're the teen who wants to die after your first heartbreak like I see as means of wanting to die frequently..working through that situation is shitty but we all do it and then realize you can find someone new, etc. everyone grieves differently maybe it takes you 1 year or maybe 5 years but you may feel differently and not want to die. Impulsive, situational suicidal thoughts can be different than chronic suicidal thoughts.

 

[UnravelingWinter]

All suffering is pointless, no matter what age you are. I'm much more mature than I was ten years ago as a teen, but I'm still just as suicidal. I wish I'd caught the bus earlier rather than suffer for years more.