Venting Anyone Else Feel They Don’t Belong, Even Here?

[Al Cappella]

I suppose at the root of all this is craving meaningful connection, my "tribe" as it were. Loneliness will do that. And yet I can never feel I belong. Even here. I have no idea what to say to ppl—and so many here are so good at expressing support and empathy. I always feel so clunky and awkward. Is there anyone else here who experiences that sort of thing?

Worse, I feel I should know better, and I just don't…

 

[waitingforrest]

I feel as though I can never seem to truly connect with someone. It's like people and me speak completely different languages.

I sometimes can't seem to find the right words to say. I want to say something but the words get caught in my tongue.

So instead, I just leave a reaction. A little picture can say more than words.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't belong anywhere even here and I should just disappear. Communities are full of competitive qualities and I'm not good anywhere.

 

[Chiisai]

I suppose at the root of all this is craving meaningful connection, my "tribe" as it were. Loneliness will do that. And yet I can never feel I belong. Even here. I have no idea what to say to ppl—and so many here are so good at expressing support and empathy. I always feel so clunky and awkward. Is there anyone else here who experiences that sort of thing?

Worse, I feel I should know better, and I just don't…

You're not alone bud. I feel you. Guess in a way we are all "different but the sme"

 

[Hollowman]

I don't belong anywhere I'm a ghost

 

[Nolan96]

Sometimes I feel like the defining characteristic of who's "in" a tribe or not, especially nowadays, is whether they can naturally pull off pointing their finger at an outsider and laughing at them along with the rest of the gang.

And even on here, I think I'm more likely to be the one being laughed at.

A few users on here don't like me, or at least really don't understand where I'm coming from.

 

[CameronFrye]

I do, I'm not sure how to break down why but I think there's a few parts to it. One is I've been conditioned to feel like I don't belong/fit in anywhere or any group, and even if it seems like I do it won't last long. Complete social isolation is the default for me and social interaction in any form feels odd despite desperately craving it.

Second is I I have severe "social anxiety", but I feel like that's just the psychology term I've been classified as having but it doesn't paint the full picture because it's way more than anxiety that can be cured with therapy/medication. I can't connect with people no matter how hard I try. In real life my ability to communicate, ability to read others, body language, looks, social status, and other intangibles make people feel put off by me and want their interactions with me to be limited. Also years and years of social isolation make me feel like a different species when interacting with people, especially those in my age group. And in real life and online I struggle to convert my thoughts into words, so I feel like I'm always rambling incoherent, annoying nonsense.

And third I feel like I'm not even mentally ill/suicidal enough and haven't suffered enough to justify being a part of this group. How funny is it that even in a place that I probably relate to people more than anywhere else I still feel like I don't belong.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

I feel the same way, like I don't belong. I've always felt that way, in just about every situation. I don't understand how people can talk to each other with such ease.

I don't get how people can have such a good grasp on their identity. I don't understand or trust anything about myself.

I don't think I'm 'enough' of a person to fit in. My accomplishments, my struggles, even my suicidal ideation doesn't feel like enough. It's all so foggy, and difficult to hold.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Not everyone is a natural wordsmith; I understand where you're coming from. Oftentimes I don't know what to say other than 'I'm sorry' or something generic even though I empathize deeply, so unless something specific comes to mind I don't comment. I feel like emotes aren't always enough, but they have to suffice. At the least, it shows that someone read it, and feeling heard means much more than any words can to some people.

I get this feeling all the time, even here. I'm rambly and clunky and trip over words, and the next person will sum up my thoughts so succinctly. A few people have messaged me from my ad in the recovery section, and I just end up asking boring questions and don't know how to keep the conversation organic and flowing. It's so rare to connect on a deeper level, and that fosters loneliness. Having something in common is best to get the ball rolling, though.

For every one eloquent, philosophical person on here there are ten more that go unnoticed because they don't know how to or are afraid to express their thoughts for various reasons. But I hear you.

You in particular are one of my favorite members—I don't know quite how to articulate it, but your postings are enjoyable to me. I like seeing you around, and I'm not just saying that. There are a couple of other posters in this thread whose comments I enjoy as well.

 

[Al Cappella]

I feel as though I can never seem to truly connect with someone. It's like people and me speak completely different languages.

I sometimes can't seem to find the right words to say. I want to say something but the words get caught in my tongue.

So instead, I just leave a reaction. A little picture can say more than words.

That's exactly how I feel! I'll even sit there for awhile, then decide on an emoji because nothing I come up with seems to sound like I should…

I don't belong anywhere even here and I should just disappear. Communities are full of competitive qualities and I'm not good anywhere.

That's a crappy feeling to have. Personally I think you do belong here—I'm learning again and again that we're all more similar than different. Not those feelings make it easy…

You're not alone bud. I feel you. Guess in a way we are all "different but the sme"

Thank you for that

Second is I I have severe "social anxiety", but I feel like that's just the psychology term I've been classified as having but it doesn't paint the full picture because it's way more than anxiety that can be cured with therapy/medication. I can't connect with people no matter how hard I try. In real life my ability to communicate, ability to read others, body language, looks, social status, and other intangibles make people feel put off by me and want their interactions with me to be limited.

I have that too. Urgh. I know exactly what you're saying. I can't read ppl either, and have always thought others have believed I was somehow "off"…

I feel the same way, like I don't belong. I've always felt that way, in just about every situation. I don't understand how people can talk to each other with such ease.

I don't get how people can have such a good grasp on their identity. I don't understand or trust anything about myself.

I don't think I'm 'enough' of a person to fit in. My accomplishments, my struggles, even my suicidal ideation doesn't feel like enough. It's all so foggy, and difficult to hold.

Sigh…totally the same…Especially the feeling of not being enough…

You in particular are one of my favorite members—I don't know quite how to articulate it, but your postings are enjoyable to me. I like seeing you around, and I'm not just saying that. There are a couple of other posters in this thread whose comments I enjoy as well.

That's really sweet of you to say, thank you. For what it's worth, your writing isn't clunky or rambly at all. I love when ppl write at length, have ideas, and have the courage to express them.

 

[_Seeking]

I feel the same as you do. Like I don't have the words to express to someone and I don't want it to come out wrong or redundant so I don't say anything. Connecting with people in a meaningful way has always been hard for me, it seems so easy for others but maybe we all feel this to a degree.

 

[Soulless Angel]

in context of this forum, I have been here since 2019, yet never felt like I quite fit, as clicks of people seem to band together, I soon learnt though that I prefer sitting on the side-lines, joining in with my ramblings every so often, I don't worry about what other people say in further response to a thread unless its something I know I can respond/reply too in a proper manner.
Dont worry about not fitting in, its not about fitting in, its about finding comfort in a forum that is rare in understanding our mindset and why we are here

 

[Forever Dead]

I think the vast majority of society are part of what I call " the hive mind " . They all seem to be on the same, stupid, selfish, shallow wavelength. Im not saying Im better than anyone else, its just that " normal people " to me are like some kind of alien species. I have been a misfit and loner all my life and I have always had poor social skills and am not very good at reading people, and responding to social cues etc. To me social interactions are like a foreign code of some sort that I have trouble understanding, and i am always the odd one out in the room so to speak. People on this forum are among the very few in this world that I can truly relate to, and vice versa. It doesnt matter how much, or how little you have to say, or how well you say it, and nobody will judge you for it. Its all about being part of something unique and supportive, something that you will never get from the people outside, because they will never understand us. Its upsetting to know that you feel like this. Just writing a few words or a single sentence, or sending an emoji can mean more to someone than you can imagine. We all belong here, no matter how much or how little we have to say, or how well we say it. Just being here is enough.

 

[MirrorBreaker]

I browse a lot of threads here and the impression I get is of people who have suffered much, much more than I have. Sometimes it makes me feel as if my reasons for CTBing are stupid and inconsequential compared to some of the terrible stuff people on here have gone through. The feeling disappears pretty quickly after I log out though. Just another way of feeling inadequate. It sucks. I don't feel comfortable telling anybody on here my reasons for wanting to die or how I really feel about anything because I'm terrified I'll be told that I'm just being silly. It makes it very difficult to feel like I "belong" here.

 

[deletednumber]

Yes,I shouldn't have been born because I suck and I'm invisible, whatever I do is considered stupid and useless, I'm good for nothing and nobody wants me around, I'm a thing that shouldn't have been there, wrong and that must be thrown in the garbage.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I also feel that way...

 

[RetroChaos]

I've strangely never felt more connected but each to their own. I'm not good at one-on-one conversations but participating in open civil discussions I've never felt happier and better.
Still doesn't stop my suicidal thoughts one the whole, but it stops the thoughts for a fleeting moment

 

[Chiisai]

I browse a lot of threads here and the impression I get is of people who have suffered much, much more than I have. Sometimes it makes me feel as if my reasons for CTBing are stupid and inconsequential compared to some of the terrible stuff people on here have gone through. The feeling disappears pretty quickly after I log out though. Just another way of feeling inadequate. It sucks. I don't feel comfortable telling anybody on here my reasons for wanting to die or how I really feel about anything because I'm terrified I'll be told that I'm just being silly. It makes it very difficult to feel like I "belong" here.

Please dont dismiss what you're feeling. Even though we all have our circumstances, the pain, the feeling, the experiences are completely valid. This forum is a "safespace" if you will, not a competition.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not belong anywhere at all, there is nothing here for me in this world, I just wish that I was gone, all I want is to sleep for all eternity and never have to experience anything ever again. Life is just pain and misery and I see no point to continuing my life.

 

[TheSoulless]

I feel the same way, like I don't belong. I've always felt that way, in just about every situation. I don't understand how people can talk to each other with such ease.

I don't get how people can have such a good grasp on their identity. I don't understand or trust anything about myself.

I don't think I'm 'enough' of a person to fit in. My accomplishments, my struggles, even my suicidal ideation doesn't feel like enough. It's all so foggy, and difficult to hold.

This fits me well, too. Just going through the motions. It's like being hollow.

 

[Weebster]

Catman: "I don't belong anywhere."

Batman: "Tyger Tyger burning
bright, in the forests of the night. What mortal hand nor eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

-Batman TAS.

 

[Lost Magic]

I never felt like like I belonged here since I was 8 years old. I always felt disconnected and a social outcast. I even endured bullying because I was different.