anyone else feel like they're living just to die?

[glowing.purple.aura]

in my opinion: so what if time feels like it's speeding up/is actually speeding up because as the title states... I'm literally just living to die

every day is just "make it until the end of the day, make it until the end of the day" and then right before I fall asleep my mind is like "phew, one day closer to death"

there's just no hope for anyone anymore (which is a whole other thing I could make a post about but this is my 4th post in like an hour )

I have no goals, no hobbies, not really any interests whatsoever, no dreams or aspirations, not really anything that brings me joy, etc. ETCCCC.

every decision I make now just feels meaningless. like... my only purpose is surviving until I no longer have to

 

[itsallogrenow]

I have no goals, no hobbies, not really any interests whatsoever, no dreams or aspirations, not really anything that brings me joy, etc. ETCCCC.

every decision I make now just feels meaningless. like... my only purpose is surviving until I no longer have to

I'm the same. Literally waiting for my meds to arrive and then I'm out of here sometime in February.

 

[SufferingDev]

Not really the same but ultimate point is clear - I know I am just postponding my CTB to whenever I feel ready to actually execute and not chicken out.

 

[Worndown]

Well, we all are technically.

I hope you can find something worth focusing on while you are here.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, this dreadful, cruel and torturous existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake truly is just waiting to die to me, it's just futile unnecessary suffering all for the sake of it and for me every second is torturous to exist, all I could ever hope for is the peace of non-existence where this existence that just causes harm and suffering is all gone and forgotten about.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from and escape from the suffering, cruelty and torture of existing where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel and there's just so much evil in existing.

To suffer in this existence truly is an abomination to me and I find it so terrible and dreadful how this existence was imposed at all, the existence of life truly is the most terrible, devastating tragedy to me, I see it as such a cruel undeserved punishment to suffer in this existence and I find it so horrific how a human can suffer for decades longer just to face the extfeme agony of old age. I truly do just wish and hope for the peace of non-existence, I just always suffer so much from being trapped in this torturous existence, I see so much evil in how we exist in this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what.