Anyone else feel like they don't have a choice? Trapped in life?

[Zzzzz]

It feels like the universe is forcing me to stay alive. Psychologically. I do not feel free to choose at all. It's very heartbreaking and discouraging. A few years ago, I checked myself into a hospital for suicidal feelings. I was sobbing uncontrollably. The nurse was convinced that I had been physically or sexually abused. And was experience PTSD from trauma. People don't seem to understand that trauma and PTSD can be experienced for reasons other than physical or sexual abuse. If someone feels completely isolated,alone and abandoned in life, I that is so traumatic psychologically. And for someone to experience that for years, They will show signs of severe PTSD. I feel utter despair.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Yes. Im totally trapped and I resigned to fate ctb or not. I have no choice and it is annoying as hell but what else i can do? Just live as authentically as possible and enjoy what I have left while it lasts…

 

[Wrennie]

I feel the exact same way. Survival instinct and inaccessibility of humane means of self-deliverance make suicide so unfathomably difficult, but the suffering is always there. I want to vanish completely, yet some intangible & incomprehensible force is keeping me here as I slowly erode. It is unfazed by logic and won't yield to my will.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have wanted to die for a long time, I have never wanted to be alive in the first place. However I feel trapped as suicide is difficult. If it was easier to exit, I would already be gone. I am held back by the lack of peaceful and reliable exit, and the fear of failure and being left in a worse quality of life. I am very tired of living and more than anything I wish it was easier to leave. I hope for eternal sleep.

 

[Moonchildx13]

I feel the exact same way. I've done everything that's supposed to "fix" these feelings. Multiple types of therapy and medications, but I feel like deep down I always had this anger for being brought into a world I never wanted to be in and anger for those who have stopped me over the years.

 

[stevieu]

Yes, and sadly it's the fools and ignorant flesh vessels running this shitshow.

Maybe if we lived in a free, progressive and empathetic society it'd at least feel a tiny bit more bearable to be trapped in.

 

[Zzzzz]

I feel the exact same way. Survival instinct and inaccessibility of humane means of self-deliverance make suicide so unfathomably difficult, but the suffering is always there. I want to vanish completely, yet some intangible & incomprehensible force is keeping me here as I slowly erode. It is unfazed by logic and won't yield to my will.

Yes it's such an unbelievably cruel thing to feel trapped in suffering. If life wasn't filled with suffering it might not be so bad to be trapped in it.

 

[milly]

I've been trapped all my life and it's getting unbearable,.. God help us

 

[motel rooms]

If someone feels completely isolated,alone and abandoned in life, I that is so traumatic psychologically. And for someone to experience that for years, They will show signs of severe PTSD. I feel utter despair.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You know I was severely abused, but I suppose I'm lucky in that my mind protects me from utter despair by disconnecting from reality.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Yes absolutely. More and more over my life I became aware of how I'm just a witness to all of this, I'm not actually controlling any of it. There are people who are so sure of the opposite conclusion though, believing that we have ultimate control. You and I, we're in that same experiential boat, the one where it feels like someone else is at the wheel, and you're just along for the ride. Every feeling, thought, and impulse is forced upon you and you are made to eat it and bear all of its consequences. Yes it is absolutely dreadful, that realisation that you are powerless to decide the outcome.

 

[D&D]

I often thought, and sometimes still think like that ... but than I try to remember Socrates and many others. Who have managed to end their lives to prevent or to avoid the alternatives(s).

It wasn't that they did not want to live ... just not under the conditions offered.

 

[Painless_end]

If someone feels completely isolated,alone and abandoned in life, I that is so traumatic psychologically. And for someone to experience that for years, They will show signs of severe PTSD. I feel utter despair.

I'm sorry for your pain but if you have been abandoned by someone then you should find someone who doesn't want to abandon you, if you still can.

Why choose to be suicidal over something that is not your fault ?

 

[kannon]

Yes. I just want to be at peace. I don't feel like I belong here, and spiritually the way our world seems headed (although I hope it turns around) scares me far more than death ever could.