Anyone else feel like suicide is too good to be true and you are destined to fail?

[johnny]

I feel like getting to an early death and a peaceful nonexistence is too good to be true. Like it's a carrot dangling in front of me that I'll never get. I feel like I'm destined to fail any attempts I might make and that I'll be forced to suffer a long life.

Anyone else feel the same?

 

[retarddd]

I dont really know whats going to happen in the future, either I succeed and die in the day I want it to happen or live longer than expected and probably end up being a disappointment

 

[Idorus]

That almost smells as if God has a plan for you Johnny.

 

[daikon]

All the time. I've failed at everything else I've tried — seems natural I'd fail at suicide too (besides, I "miss the bus" on the daily!)

 

[21Neberg]

Though I already failed to hang myself once, I know I'm going to get to that carrot one day. I am determined, and if I have to fail ten times to succeed in hanging my self, then I will! Anything to be free from this loneliness.

 

[anelakapu]

I feel exactly the same. This has been my exact fear for years and every year that passes is terrifying and excruciating and i try to ignore it with numbness that makes time go even faster, I now spitefully tell myself I'm going to live forever when I'm out and about and endure some minor thing that makes me want to kill myself, does anyone experience being paranoid about not wanting to outright acknowledge things because you don't want to give it reality? for me it's definitely time. The numbness does really lower inhibitions though, i used to have the worst problems just talking to people but ever since i realized all i had to do was dissociate, the skies the limit

 

[Jen Erik]

Yes. And I feel like I've lulled myself into a false sense of security, thinking I've done really well at planning so I will succeed. But in the back of my mind, there is always the nagging thought that no, it is too easy, I'm bound to mess it up and end up worse off than I was before I started.

 

[Othermind]

I feel like getting to an early death and a peaceful nonexistence is too good to be true. Like it's a carrot dangling in front of me that I'll never get. I feel like I'm destined to fail any attempts I might make and that I'll be forced to suffer a long life.

Anyone else feel the same?

Sometimes.
This is why I haven't set a date and I'm just letting things happen naturally.
I'm not seeking medication or therapy, I wallow in my addictions/shitty coping mechanisms/unhealthy life choices hoping that sooner or later some of this will catch up to me and make my life truly unbearable. Then I'll have a reliable method at the ready and hopefully I can end this shitshow.

 

[goxua]

Along with confirming that I'm a short sleeper, have more persistant brain arousal at resting state, along with all thr other exciting things lol....it was confirmed that I carry four markers for longevity...so I have like a ridiculously 92% or something like that chance of reaching 100.

And yes, I also showed the gene for lowered risk for drug addiction.

FML

 

[Idorus]

Though I already failed to hang myself once, I know I'm going to get to that carrot one day. I am determined, and if I have to fail ten times to succeed in hanging my self, then I will! Anything to be free from this loneliness.

Lieve 21Neberg,
Als je eens behoefte hebt om er uit te zijn of in je eigen taal (in real) te delen dan ben je altijd welkom. Als je het fijn vind kunnen we zelfs alle landgenoten hier optrommelen en een meeting regelen, wat je wenst. Misschien zit je daar niet op te wachten en dan is het ook helemaal ok. Wilde het toch even gezegd hebben omdat ik het zo voel. We hebben niet echt gepraat maar je bent een bekend gezicht en ik lees je. Dat schept vertrouwen genoeg. Ons landje is gelukkig klein. Liefs altijd.

 

[mattwitt]

Yes. And with my luck I'll be stuck alive till I'm 120

 

[waived]

I've partied pretty hard and some days I'm convinced I've already set in motion the slowest suicide ever.

 

[21Neberg]

Lieve 21Neberg,
Als je eens behoefte hebt om er uit te zijn of in je eigen taal (in real) te delen dan ben je altijd welkom. Als je het fijn vind kunnen we zelfs alle landgenoten hier optrommelen en een meeting regelen, wat je wenst. Misschien zit je daar niet op te wachten en dan is het ook helemaal ok. Wilde het toch even gezegd hebben omdat ik het zo voel. We hebben niet echt gepraat maar je bent een bekend gezicht en ik lees je. Dat schept vertrouwen genoeg. Ons landje is gelukkig klein. Liefs altijd.

Dat is aardig, maar ik ben gehecht aan mijn anonimiteit denk ik. Wel een leuke verrassing dat er andere Nederlanders hier zitten ;-)

 

[ManWithNoName]

I feel like getting to an early death and a peaceful nonexistence is too good to be true. Like it's a carrot dangling in front of me that I'll never get. I feel like I'm destined to fail any attempts I might make and that I'll be forced to suffer a long life.

Anyone else feel the same?

I certainly do.

The fear of failing at self deliverance is even more disconcerting if one googles "suicide fails" examples of people who survive their attempt - it's ugly.