Anyone else feel being on this site has actually been a waste of time?( vent and frustration.)

[HermitLonerGuy]

So i joined thinking id find ways to end my life quicker and make things easier.
Ive only been going around in circles and its not helped a bit.
Its just endless talking about wanting to ctb and endless venting.
I just wanted to find a method or get some relief somehow.
Maybe for a more capable non useless person they would find a method here.
Im unable to follow simple instructions besides very basic things.
Im useless with my hands .
Anyway not blaming anyone its my own fault and expectations.
for me its not been productive at all being here its just endless and pointless venting.
sorry if i offend anyone im an idiot anyway.

i need to find real help to either end things or save myself.
im not down for this going in circles and endless beating around the bush.
every method or situation seems to have complications or factors to take into account for me.
a normal person would be able to do things easier.
i wish there was a button to push and id be long gone.
being here neither helps me or worsens me so idk.
fuck everything.

 

[FuneralCry]

But this site is a waste of time, apart from finding ways to die. If this site is not useful for method information then it's incredibly pointless, there is nothing to be gained from being on here and there never could be. Everything in life feels purposeless and a waste of time to me. But it isn't as though the concept of time has any value in the first place.
Of course it would be so ideal to just never wake again, that is all I wish for. To die is ideal and yet we live in this cruel world where leaving can be so unnecessarily difficult and complicated. It's all certainly very tiring, I'm tired of everything.

 

[Mofreeko]

Not at all. I have learned quite a bit here and have my chosen method in my possession. I feel in charge of my own fate for the first time in my life.

 

[Sakura94]

Forums are for creation of information. Curated info went to the wiki. The wiki was removed. Here is an archive:
https://web.archive.org/web/20211120101251/https://suicide.wiki/w/Main_Page
Note, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post that if not then mods please delete my post. I'll be gone for the rest of the day x

 

[bipolar22]

well there is alot of information in the resource section if it just comes to methods. Also free speech regarding suicide and thoughts about it aswell planning and help with methods.

 

[[HNO]]

there's virtually no chemists, anesthesiologists, toxicologists etc to invent new and clarify existing methods or to provide deep consultation regarding to them. in fact all answers to questions arising from research on suicide methods are addressed in the resources thread and one could no post method related threads at all using suitable literature and sometimes forensic documentation.
but who knows things lately turn out worse and worse with these made up wars and pandemics and other disasters of global scale which are imminent in the future and probably they will never come to an end until they brought so called NWO so at some point as living becomes more fucked the influx of persons involved in professional sectors likely to appear here and they'll provide information of high value on daily basis

 

[freight_train]

I didn't know about SN before discovering this website. seems like a peaceful enough method to me, given that N is so hard to source. it's all up to you... as for myself, knowing that I can just cbt whenever I want brings me great relief and comfort.

 

[forgiva]

Idk. Personally it's made me much less alone and scared.

 

[akirat9]

But this site is a waste of time, apart from finding ways to die. If this site is not useful for method information then it's incredibly pointless, there is nothing to be gained from being on here and there never could be. Everything in life feels purposeless and a waste of time to me. But it isn't as though the concept of time has any value in the first place.
Of course it would be so ideal to just never wake again, that is all I wish for. To die is ideal and yet we live in this cruel world where leaving can be so unnecessarily difficult and complicated. It's all certainly very tiring, I'm tired of everything.

yes i agree. it does not slow down or hasten suicide for me; not that anyone here can solve any of the struggles and end the tormenting suffering with tangible actions. it also is very cliquey.
It's really only good for venting without hearing unwanted prolifer babble

 

[whywhywhy]

I mean akirat what are you expecting of this forum?

If you are looking for ways to end it, It already gives all the info you can get regarding CTB which you would struggle to find in other places. If you are waiting for an Amazon link its hardly gonna happen because the problem with actual sources is that they cant be made public or they will get shut down. If you are insistent I would say you can ask for some kind soul to DM it to you.

If you are looking to get better is kind of ironic because this is the place where people come when they realize there probably is not getting better.

The truth is this site is full of people that need to talk about something that they cannot do IRL without the fear of losing their freedom and a place in which they can find ways to end their suffering. In my opinion at the very least even if I couldnt find connections to other people in here, my opinion is this site at least gave me some peace. The peace I didnt have when I didnt know there were easier methods to CTB. Now even if my life still sucks I feel I know I can always pull the trigger and escape it which is a relief.

 

[outrider567]

This site is a Godsend, much information, much empathy, much understanding, about how and what we're going thru when dealing with our own personal hell

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think a lot of people first join hoping there is some secret easily accessible thing they can do or buy to end things quickly and painlessly. Sadly, there doesn't seem to be such a thing. Every method involves some risk- including the risk of failure. Nothing sadly is foolproof by the looks of it.

I do understand your frustration. I think mine is more focused on life itself- as in- being put in this ridiculous situation in the first place and secondly on society- for making it so difficult (even illegal) to depart 'painlessly.'

You mentioned it not only failed to help you ctb but also recover. Have you engaged with the recovery section here? Honestly, if you're looking for positive motivation, this may not be the best place to look for it. I suspect most people here are very weary of life. I've actually found it to be a great comfort to be able to interact with others here and just be honest about how I feel but I can understand why it feels like a depressing waste of time to some folk. I'm sorry. I hope you can find what you are looking for one day.

 

[Nikki2020]

this is the only place I found that you're actually allowed to talk about suicide and its methods. I learned alot here personally. ❤

 

[dtjb]

I like this place somewhat since I can express the ugly things in my mind and no one lambasts me for not thinking life is a precious gift. I also find it helpful to follow the discussions of attempts to limit the sale of SN and other methods while I sort my stuff out. Idk that anyone can make it less frustrating for you but hopefully some of the resources shared would be somewhat helpful.

 

[watchingthewheels]

The site had a lot of useful information on how to CTB, and, just as important, information on what NOT to do.
If a person is sticking around for an extended length of time, treating it as a psychology forum/therapy session, or waiting for some "magic bullet" advice, expecting others to provide validation, etc., then that's another story...so, the site is not a "waste of time", as much as it might be that one is wasting their time due to unmet expectations...

 

[SamTam33]

I understand where you're coming, especially based on your original expectations.

I have mixed feelings. At first, I was so relieved to have found a place to share my thoughts. Reading about the different methods were an added bonus.

But realizing the side effects of failing each method and seeing how desperate and helpless/hopeless most of us are has made me experience some of the frustration you described.

I know there are success stories but seeing how stuck everyone is... It makes my heart hurt in a way I can't describe. Most days I hurt more for everyone else than I do myself.

 

[akirat9]

I mean akirat what are you expecting of this forum?

↓

venting without hearing unwanted prolifer babble

 

[hopeless302]

I mean, the site's useful if you want to vent or be reminded that you're not the only one experiencing these things. As for the methods on here, most of them are extremely complex and/or prone to failure. We COULD get more effective, evidence-based ctb methods if this topic wasn't as needlessly taboo as it is. At some point, I'll probably just pick a tried and true method and see it through to the end.

 

[theboy]

What is a waste of time?
Are you not being productive in society or are you looking for methods?

Wasting time just means not being useful or active in society. Don't forget that relaxing, going out to eat, watching a movie, helps us to feel better about ourselves even for a moment. Don't fall into the trap that you are wasting your time. Think, what am I doing with my time?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Sounds to me like you don't want to do any homework and investigate until you find a method that will work for you. You just want it handed to you on a silver platter? If you can't find a method here, you'll never find one. I'm sorry that you think you're non capable and useless. You have a search function. Sure, a couple methods are hard to get right now, one basically impossible. There are other methods. You need to put some kind of effort into it.

Is there a certain way you envision yourself dying? Let's start from there.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It has been soothing

 

[nopointinlife]

I enjoy being able to have a place like this where I can express feelings that I can't share with my therapist, who is mandated by law to call 911 and subject me to an involuntary 72 hour stay in a mental institution. The real waste of time is sitting through a therapy session while masking the true extent of your pain out of fear of being locked up and forced to take drugs against your will.

 

[SarRy]

Maybe. Some people probably mill around at the bus station a while longer than others. Some people probably just like being able to talk about things in a free way. It can be difficult to learn things. It can serve as a sort of dissuasion for the people who haven't thought through the idea.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Being here might make you feel less lonely if you're willing to give life an other chance and recovery a chance.
But if you're in a really impossible degrading situation, unsafe, helpless and hopless which is a subjective thing to say. But lets say you are then this is pointless beside making sure you have a reliable method to ctb.
I' m pretty sure my life is behond salavation. Too late for me.

 

[jodes2]

I found my methods here and I find venting here very helpful so I definitely don't see this site as a waste of time

 

[Altvtysp]

Yeah this website is a total waste of time and also can be extremely harmful if someone attempts a "method" and it simply injures them like it has for me. I now have burst blood vessels in my eyeballs and my throat really hurts but I've accepted that I'm too much of a coward to get the job done no matter what so now I get to suffer from the failed attempts and can't even have suicidal feelings to make me feel better. Fuck this site.

 

[Koppite]

I think it used to be better (its previous incarnation as a Reddit sub and before that a Google group) but cunts have set their hearts on ensuring no one ever has a good death and so the admins do the best they can, knowing anything and everything can and will be deleted at the first opportunity.

My first foray into the world of elective death was when I bought N for my dad. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have bought a lot more. But I had no idea that getting hold of N and fentanyl would get harder, not easier, as the years passed.
The fact that more and more people are suicidal and fewer and fewer countries are capable of or interested in caring for their citizens (children in the UK are literally going without food now) makes the concerted international effort to 'stop' suicide even more insane to me.

I wish govts would just let us go. They don't care about us - and the time and money they put into preventing us from getting hold of substances like N which would allow for our peaceful and dignified deaths increasingly seems less like mere stupidity and more like cruelty.

Sorry. I appear to have gone off on a massive tangent.

Anyway, I know what you mean. It's difficult to find what you're looking for, especially if you're old or depressed or confused - and the members by and large aren't as kind and helpful as they used to be. Basically all I've learned from this forum is SN. Everything else - jumping off a building, hanging yourself - is no more than you'd already know even if this site didn't exist at all.

The PP handbook isn't useful either IMHO. Just a bunch of outdated information which the authors sell twice a year to desperate people as a money-making exercise. Personally I find the realisation that, currently, this site and the PPH are the best options we have, to be just another source of depression and disappointment.

 

[Anon1337]

So i joined thinking id find ways to end my life quicker and make things easier.
Ive only been going around in circles and its not helped a bit.
Its just endless talking about wanting to ctb and endless venting.
I just wanted to find a method or get some relief somehow.
Maybe for a more capable non useless person they would find a method here.
Im unable to follow simple instructions besides very basic things.
Im useless with my hands .
Anyway not blaming anyone its my own fault and expectations.
for me its not been productive at all being here its just endless and pointless venting.
sorry if i offend anyone im an idiot anyway.

i need to find real help to either end things or save myself.
im not down for this going in circles and endless beating around the bush.
every method or situation seems to have complications or factors to take into account for me.
a normal person would be able to do things easier.
i wish there was a button to push and id be long gone.
being here neither helps me or worsens me so idk.
fuck everything.

Venting isn't 'pointless'. This forum is an outlet for people to express themselves.

There is plenty of information if you look..

 

[aladdin]

Idk it's new member hype for me rn haha

 

[BipolarExpress]

The fact that more and more people are suicidal and fewer and fewer countries are capable of or interested in caring for their citizens (children in the UK are literally going without food now) makes the concerted international effort to 'stop' suicide even more insane to me.

That part is outrageous. They give all kinds of lip service about saving lives and do nothing to ensure that people will find their lives worth living in the first place. Want to keep people alive? Improve their quality of life first. End homelessness. Help people get out of crippling debt. Help people get jobs that give them meaning and purpose. Pass laws that protect marginalized people from discrimination. Acknowledge people's mental health while dealing with pandemics like COVID. Help people build communities. These are all CONCRETE matters of public policy that cannot be solved through bullshit platitudes like "It Gets Better." (God, I fucking hate Dan Savage for so many reasons. I ran a leftist anti-Dan-Savage Tumblr many years back.) Nor can they be solved by locking people up in psych wards and shoving them with medications instead of fucking LISTENING TO THEM and trying to understand why they're fucking suicidal in the first place. Instead, people are just treated as though they're insane and irrational for rejecting the "gift" of life.