Anyone Else Experience This

[Saed]

So,I was outside,waiting for a delivery.
This wasn't an audible voice I heard.
More like a stream of thoughts that entered my concious,like a silent,internal dialogue...

It was my body,saying "You don't need to kill me.
I am your friend and we can work through this together again" and all kinds of other guilt trippy-type stuff I won't post.

I was responding,"no,I am going to put you to rest.
I will terminate your suffering. It's the only benign thing I can do for you,now"

It just caught me offguard,because this is a hopeless,untenable situation which I am incapable of enduring any longer,and suicide is the only humane option.
Nothing can ever convince me otherwise.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've had doubts creep into my mind like that. But I always brush them aside. Internal dialogues can be a bitch. Especially when you're playing tug of war with yourself.

 

[person123]

I have no hope, but I have laziness that says, why try suicide, which is hard, and risky, when you can simply live another day. But eventually I'm gonna have to do this, and I will.

 

[Saed]

I've had doubts creep into my mind like that. But I always brush them aside. Internal dialogues can be a bitch. Especially when you're playing tug of war with yourself.

That's just the thing,though. I don't have any doubts at all. There's no coming back from this.
I no longer have the wherewithal to fix this mess.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

That's just the thing,though. I don't have any doubts at all. There's no coming back from this.
I no longer have the wherewithal to fix this mess.

I completely understand and I'm sorry you're in that position. I'm not saying you actively doubt yourself. But the subconscious can be a bit funny at times.

 

[person123]

That's just the thing,though. I don't have any doubts at all. There's no coming back from this.
I no longer have the wherewithal to fix this mess.

Marcus Jannes hanged himself wearing the shirt that said "Just do it". That's how it works, you just do it.

 

[Saed]

I have no hope, but I have laziness that says, why try suicide, which is hard, and risky, when you can simply live another day. But eventually I'm gonna have to do this, and I will.

That's understandable. It's a different animal when maybe,there's no degenerative physical condition involved.
Time is probably more of a pressure in that instance.

 

[person123]

That's understandable. It's a different animal when maybe,there's no degenerative physical condition involved.
Time is probably more of a pressure in that instance.

Can you apply for euthanasia? Netherlands accepts foreigners.

 

[Saed]

I completely understand and I'm sorry you're in that position. I'm not saying you actively doubt yourself. But the subconscious can be a bit funny at times.

Understood. You're right.

Can you apply for euthanasia? Netherlands accepts foreigners.

None of my doctors will support me. I did join Dignitas.

 

[person123]

None of my doctors will support me. I did join Dignitas.

You need the approval of doctors in the Netherlands, not UK. How did it go with Dignitas?

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm not held back by doubts, suicide is just hard. Suicide requires action while being alive and inactive is easy.

 

[Saed]

You need the approval of doctors in the Netherlands, not UK. How did it go with Dignitas?

I just left it to one side,and decided to take myself out by other means.
Dignitas stated they required extensive documentation of my condition from my doctors,who half the time,have no insight whatsoever into it...
It's alright. I can do it,and not have to wait much longer.

I'm not held back by doubts, suicide is just hard. Suicide requires action while being alive and inactive is easy.

Nor am I held back by doubts. Am here,kicking my heals,still waiting on the meto.
If push comes to shove,I'll have to do it without.

 

[Busdriver]

So,I was outside,waiting for a delivery.
This wasn't an audible voice I heard.
More like a stream of thoughts that entered my concious,like a silent,internal dialogue...

It was my body,saying "You don't need to kill me.
I am your friend and we can work through this together again" and all kinds of other guilt trippy-type stuff I won't post.

I was responding,"no,I am going to put you to rest.
I will terminate your suffering. It's the only benign thing I can do for you,now"

It just caught me offguard,because this is a hopeless,untenable situation which I am incapable of enduring any longer,and suicide is the only humane option.
Nothing can ever convince me otherwise.

I guess it is normal to have this, because you are going to kill yourself, which is a very tough and rigorous decision and act. Requires planning and luck and gives lots of anxiety, especially if the method is not without pain/discomfort.

I have it too all the time, and every day not doing it gives anxiety and anger, feel like procrastinating.

Life is full of doing tasks reluctantly, and eventhough this task ends suffering, it is still a task..

It sucks we have to go through this

 

[person123]

I went for a walk today, and began feeling better, but I knew it would get worse again, then I went back and my mental illness got more aggressive, and I understand that I must die. The hope is lie.