Anyone else constantly observing/copying what they see ?

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Long story short, after having been told i might be autistic by a few specialists, i started trying to analyse my own behavior to see if there's anything ''weird'' and found this one that i can't quite tell if it's normal:

Does anyone else like, constantly, and by that i mean, at virtually all times, observe people like lab rats ? Always analysing reactions, emotional responses, and others. With a mostly subconcious goal of copying it to blend in or direct how control how people will act/react to you.

I've noticed very few ''normal'' people seem do this to anywhere near the extend and was wondering if it's something autists do. Wait times for proper highly educated specialists are reallllllllllly long, so anything i can find by myself and give to my social workers and other non phd diagnostiky bois is quite valuable.

 

[Smart No More]

I've always been very analytical of myself and human behaviour. From a really early age I started observing and learning. I'm not sure what spurred it. I kind of used it to manipulate my way out of trouble as a child and I think I did mimic it for a while. Emulating my idols so to speak. Thinking about it I did that more than I like to really believe but I'm glad to say that at some point I stopoed and found my own identity. I know what you mean about most people appearing oblivious to it. I was always aware of this and found it so hard to believe that nobody else knew about this stuff that I assumed they were better at it than me and I just couldn't tell they were observing and understanding it. I'm still not sure now but do feel like I am significantly more aware of human psychology than the average person. However I think many people do see it from and early age and its part of human development. It's mostly picked up subconsciously by them and acted on instinctively and I think they probably (almost certainly) don't feel the need to go into the extreme detail and intricacy as you or I are referring to. For us it may be a sign of a feeling of inadequacy or a desire to fully understand the world, spurred by the feeling that we currently or previously didn't know enough. It could be that we need the comfort of certainty and as such attempt to understand every little detail in the goals of creating a safety net for the sake of inner security. This would play into your self analysis. I don't know if I'm on the spectrum of autism or if this is a trait of autistic people. I judt relate to your query so thought I'd share my experience on that front. It's certainly something that's stuck with me all my life and become beneficial in many ways. I've literally spwnt my whole life learning in intricate detail. Picking up various disciplines and understanding myself and my motivations. Subsequently the motivations of others. It becomes second nature and you almost (if not truly) gain a kind of algorithmic understanding of things and can predict how things will play out as a result. It's a cerebral kind of subconscious learning that can be transferred to identifying patterns in all sorts. Trends of various kinds. I definitely think everyone must do it to some extent or another. You and I are probably judt amongst those that docit more intensively. I'd be quite interested to know a good psychologists views on it though. In my youth people weren't so readily diagnosed with things like autism. Not unless you were very obviously hindered by it. I've definitely had teachers and authority figure comment on my differences by comparison to my peers though.

 

[aeri]

Long story short, after having been told i might be autistic by a few specialists, i started trying to analyse my own behavior to see if there's anything ''weird'' and found this one that i can't quite tell if it's normal:

Does anyone else like, constantly, and by that i mean, at virtually all times, observe people like lab rats ? Always analysing reactions, emotional responses, and others. With a mostly subconcious goal of copying it to blend in or direct how control how people will act/react to you.

I've noticed very few ''normal'' people seem do this to anywhere near the extend and was wondering if it's something autists do. Wait times for proper highly educated specialists are reallllllllllly long, so anything i can find by myself and give to my social workers and other non phd diagnostiky bois is quite valuable.

i honestly do the same (though im not autistic, i am borderline)

i observe how everyone is, especially the ppl who get the most love, appreciation, support and all. i copy their personality. sometimes i know i do it. most of the time it's like i do it against my will. idk. i just wanna be loved so when i see ppl who receive love, i think that maybe if i do like them i'll get some. so subconsciously i just act like them. it makes me feel pathetic and can make me so different regarding on with whom i am

or because im scared im too stupid. scared im different. i wanna blend in. im a dumbass. so i'll just kinda test the water and do what everyone seem to do. i dont want anyone to mock me i just wanna be loved. honestly that's why i am almost always dissociating when i am with anyone. dunno how to act. trying to observe everyone to be the same

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I've always been very analytical of myself and human behaviour. From a really early age I started observing and learning. I'm not sure what spurred it. I kind of used it to manipulate my way out of trouble as a child and I think I did mimic it for a while. Emulating my idols so to speak. Thinking about it I did that more than I like to really believe but I'm glad to say that at some point I stopoed and found my own identity. I know what you mean about most people appearing oblivious to it. I was always aware of this and found it so hard to believe that nobody else knew about this stuff that I assumed they were better at it than me and I just couldn't tell they were observing and understanding it. I'm still not sure now but do feel like I am significantly more aware of human psychology than the average person. However I think many people do see it from and early age and its part of human development. It's mostly picked up subconsciously by them and acted on instinctively and I think they probably (almost certainly) don't feel the need to go into the extreme detail and intricacy as you or I are referring to. For us it may be a sign of a feeling of inadequacy or a desire to fully understand the world, spurred by the feeling that we currently or previously didn't know enough. It could be that we need the comfort of certainty and as such attempt to understand every little detail in the goals of creating a safety net for the sake of inner security. This would play into your self analysis. I don't know if I'm on the spectrum of autism or if this is a trait of autistic people. I judt relate to your query so thought I'd share my experience on that front. It's certainly something that's stuck with me all my life and become beneficial in many ways. I've literally spwnt my whole life learning in intricate detail. Picking up various disciplines and understanding myself and my motivations. Subsequently the motivations of others. It becomes second nature and you almost (if not truly) gain a kind of algorithmic understanding of things and can predict how things will play out as a result. It's a cerebral kind of subconscious learning that can be transferred to identifying patterns in all sorts. Trends of various kinds. I definitely think everyone must do it to some extent or another. You and I are probably judt amongst those that docit more intensively. I'd be quite interested to know a good psychologists views on it though. In my youth people weren't so readily diagnosed with things like autism. Not unless you were very obviously hindered by it. I've definitely had teachers and authority figure comment on my differences by comparison to my peers though.

Thanks for the detailed, smart and well spoken reply ! Even if you don't know weither or not you're on the spectrum i'm sure the informations will be very usefull in one way or another.
I feel like in my case i feel the constant observing is more of a ''scientific'' way of i don't know how to properly say it but like, learn how to manipulate people in a non malovelent way than some sort of security thing. Like, i don't want to cause them harm or get them to be my puppets, it's mostly just to blend in better and out of sheer curiosity.
Funny anecdote, as a child i learned mainly learned how to show emotions and get a reaction out of people by watching *DEMONETIZED*'s speeches on history channel lol.

i honestly do the same (though im not autistic, i am borderline)

i observe how everyone is, especially the ppl who get the most love, appreciation, support and all. i copy their personality. sometimes i know i do it. most of the time it's like i do it against my will. idk. i just wanna be loved so when i see ppl who receive love, i think that maybe if i do like them i'll get some. so subconsciously i just act like them. it makes me feel pathetic and can make me so different regarding on with whom i am

or because im scared im too stupid. scared im different. i wanna blend in. im a dumbass. so i'll just kinda test the water and do what everyone seem to do. i dont want anyone to mock me i just wanna be loved. honestly that's why i am almost always dissociating when i am with anyone. dunno how to act. trying to observe everyone to be the same

Thanks, that's very usefull information, especially since you've been kind enough to share your diagnostic ! Correct me if i'm wrong, but it seems like the copying/observing is driven by emotions/emotional needs more than anything else ?

 

[Spyro24]

Long story short, after having been told i might be autistic by a few specialists, i started trying to analyse my own behavior to see if there's anything ''weird'' and found this one that i can't quite tell if it's normal:

Does anyone else like, constantly, and by that i mean, at virtually all times, observe people like lab rats ? Always analysing reactions, emotional responses, and others. With a mostly subconcious goal of copying it to blend in or direct how control how people will act/react to you.

I've noticed very few ''normal'' people seem do this to anywhere near the extend and was wondering if it's something autists do. Wait times for proper highly educated specialists are reallllllllllly long, so anything i can find by myself and give to my social workers and other non phd diagnostiky bois is quite valuable.

Me. I am on the spectrum and trying to blend in is almost a necessity. In high school, I would go as far as copying peoples laughs because mine was being made fun of and I thought it was weird. I try to analyse peoples emotions and reactions but I don't quite understand a lot of them. I wish I was just considered 'normal' by society so I wouldn't have to deal with any of this.

 

[Smart No More]

@Bootleg Astolfo

Yeah it sounds like a developmental thing. I can totally relate. It's just that some of us are probably influenced at an early age in a manner that makes us feel the need to really understand it intricately. Like you say, to fit in and to successfully (manipulate) navigate human interaction. If there's a defecit in one area we often over compensate in another. Like how a blind person has really honed hearing. You lose one sense so all the other senses try to make up for it by coming together in a way as to all but replace/mimc the lost sense.

Are you an only child?

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Me. I am on the spectrum and trying to blend in is almost a necessity. In high school, I would go as far as copying peoples laughs because mine was being made fun of and I thought it was weird. I try to analyse peoples emotions and reactions but I don't quite understand a lot of them. I wish I was just considered 'normal' by society so I wouldn't have to deal with any of this.

Thanks ! Since you're on the spectrum this is very nice information. It's not quite on the same subject but since you have the diagnostic i'd be interested to know this : Are you actually able to read people's emotions when they're talking to you, like, know if they're interested, if they find you annoying and such ? And if yes, do you in general change the behavior they don't like, or go ''i don't care, i'll do what i want''.

@Bootleg Astolfo

Yeah it sounds like a developmental thing. I can totally relate. It's just that some of us are probably influenced at an early age in a manner that makes us feel the need to really understand it intricately. Like you say, to fit in and to successfully (manipulate) navigate human interaction. If there's a defecit in one area we often over compensate in another. Like how a blind person has really honed hearing. You lose one sense so all the other senses try to make up for it by coming together in a way as to all but replace/mimc the lost sense.

Are you an only child?

It does really feel like a case of compensating for other senses, i do that with other things, mostly with my general appearance by dressing up in an overly nice excentric fashion to make up for my lack of interest in talking to people and make them come to me.
Yes i'm indeed an only child, always wanted siblings but never got any.

 

[NoLightRemains]

I've been diagnosed with autism as an adult after many years of wondering if I was on the spectrum but never got around to testing for it. The behaviors necessary to fit into society are so exhausting. I can do it but it's very draining on me. I have more difficulty masking and blending in now than I used to despite putting a lot of effort into learning this stuff. I attribute some of this to worsened mental health/depression.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I've been diagnosed with autism as an adult after many years of wondering if I was on the spectrum but never got around to testing for it. The behaviors necessary to fit into society are so exhausting. I can do it but it's very draining on me. I have more difficulty masking and blending in now than I used to despite putting a lot of effort into learning this stuff. I attribute some of this to worsened mental health/depression.

Thanks, this is really helpfull ! I'd have a follow up question, don't worry about not answering it if it makes you uncomfortable, you've already contributed a lot: Do you ever use the masking for ''evil'' (as in, anything that might be seen as negative by most people), and if yes, do you feel bad about it ? And in general, do you enjoy/feel curious when observing people, or is it more strictly a ''i just dont want to be treated like shit by people'' kind of deal.
Once again, sorry if the follow up is a bit... unique, but i think some of the little details like that might just be what makes the difference.

 

[NoLightRemains]

Thanks, this is really helpfull ! I'd have a follow up question, don't worry about not answering it if it makes you uncomfortable, you've already contributed a lot: Do you ever use the masking for ''evil'' (as in, anything that might be seen as negative by most people), and if yes, do you feel bad about it ? And in general, do you enjoy/feel curious when observing people, or is it more strictly a ''i just dont want to be treated like shit by people'' kind of deal.
Once again, sorry if the follow up is a bit... unique, but i think some of the little details like that might just be what makes the difference.

I try my best to not use the masking for evil. I'm very critical of myself and don't like the idea of manipulating others for my gains, although I likely do it to some extent anyways because I need to survive. I do sometimes feel evil about it but I don't think I'm anymore evil than most humans.

I think I used to enjoy observing people and their mannerisms, but I just don't care to anymore. I'm sick of paying so much attention to all the social cues to try to make sense of things

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I try my best to not use the masking for evil. I'm very critical of myself and don't like the idea of manipulating others for my gains, although I likely do it to some extent anyways because I need to survive. I do sometimes feel evil about it but I don't think I'm anymore evil than most humans.

I think I used to enjoy observing people and their mannerisms, but I just don't care to anymore. I'm sick of paying so much attention to all the social cues to try to make sense of things

Very much appreciating that you answered the follow ups ! Very good information.

 

[Spyro24]

Thanks ! Since you're on the spectrum this is very nice information. It's not quite on the same subject but since you have the diagnostic i'd be interested to know this : Are you actually able to read people's emotions when they're talking to you, like, know if they're interested, if they find you annoying and such ? And if yes, do you in general change the behavior they don't like, or go ''i don't care, i'll do what i want''.

It does really feel like a case of compensating for other senses, i do that with other things, mostly with my general appearance by dressing up in an overly nice excentric fashion to make up for my lack of interest in talking to people and make them come to me.
Yes i'm indeed an only child, always wanted siblings but never got any.

I can understand some basic emotions, but that's pretty much it. I can't tell if someone is interested or annoyed unless they say so. A lot of the time when someone is looking at me, I can't tell if they're mad or if it's just their normal resting face. I try to adapt but since I don't catch the visual cues, it's usually too late.

I learned to live with this for the most part. There are some cases where it's a problem though, such as relationships.

 

[artificial_ineptness]

I think that does sound like autistic "compensation" / "masking".

Spoiler: Sorry if this is too nerdy but here are some sources on that

From https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735821001239 :

Although definitions of camouflaging are still evolving, here we define camouflaging (also variously referred to in the literature as compensation, masking and adaptive morphing) as the employment of specific behavioural and cognitive strategies by autistic people to adapt to or cope within the predominately non-autistic social world (Cook, Crane, Hull, Bourne, & Mandy, 2021; Hull et al., 2017; Lai et al., 2011; Lawson, 2020; Livingston & Happe, 2017; Pearson & Rose, 2021). Camouflaging may enable an individual to, consciously or unconsciously, present a non-autistic social style, hide autistic characteristics, and/or minimise the visibility of social difficulties (Hull et al., 2017; Lawson, 2020). Such strategies can involve masking autistic behaviours and/or employing compensatory strategies to overcome social difficulties (Hull et al., 2019; Livingston, Shah, & Happe, 2019). Common examples of camouflaging strategies include supressing repetitive hand movements, forcing eye contact, using conversational scripts, and using learned rules to respond to others' non-verbal behaviour. A related concept that evolved concurrently with camouflaging is that of compensation (Livingston & Happe, 2017). Compensation has a more specific focus on cognition and refers to the use of alternative cognitive routes to demonstrate a less autistic behavioural presentation despite persisting autism-related difficulties or differences in cognition (e.g., in social reasoning). Within the literature, compensation is generally (but not always) theorised to fall under the broader phenomena of camouflaging (Hull, Petrides, & Mandy, 2020; Livingston, Shah, & Happe, 2019).

From https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jcpp.12886 :

Compensation will also result in a more neurotypical behavioural presentation, however, it goes further than masking/suppression of autistic traits and, instead, involves alternative cognition to circumvent underlying cognitive difficulties. For example, while you might mask a difficulty in distinguishing lies from jokes by copying the behaviour of others (e.g. laughing), compensation would involve developing a conscious rule: when someone says a nonliteral statement and is laughing, it is likely a joke (else, it is likely a lie).

If you've never done it before, you might be interested in autism quotient test that might be useful to at least get more ideas/info on what traits to look for (you can take it online here the initial study it comes from is this (people with ASD scored an average of 35.8 and controls - 16.4, suggests cut-off of 32+) also investigated here with similar averages).

P.S. I'm not an autism scholar / psychologist / whatever, just another guy who has/had to struggle with this on my own, so take it for what it's worth, maybe it's still useful...

P.P.S. I don't really do it myself because of a mix of: neurotypical behaviour not making sense to me, not being good at masking, being too exhausted of it and not seeing much benefit - people still dislike me no matter how hard I try to jump through their hoops of stupid social rules that no one explains the point of to me, just constantly judge/punish me for not conforming, and I just dislike it. Not diagnosed though (don't even think it's possible in my country as an adult) :/

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I can understand some basic emotions, but that's pretty much it. I can't tell if someone is interested or annoyed unless they say so. A lot of the time when someone is looking at me, I can't tell if they're mad or if it's just their normal resting face. I try to adapt but since I don't catch the visual cues, it's usually too late.

I learned to live with this for the most part. There are some cases where it's a problem though, such as relationships.

Thanks for the information, combined with everything else i think i'm starting to get a pretty good idea !

I think that does sound like autistic "compensation" / "masking".

Spoiler: Sorry if this is too nerdy but here are some sources on that

From https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735821001239 :


From https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jcpp.12886 :

If you've never done it before, you might be interested in autism quotient test that might be useful to at least get more ideas/info on what traits to look for (you can take it online here the initial study it comes from is this (people with ASD scored an average of 35.8 and controls - 16.4, suggests cut-off of 32+) also investigated here with similar averages).

P.S. I'm not an autism scholar / psychologist / whatever, just another guy who has/had to struggle with this on my own, so take it for what it's worth, maybe it's still useful...

P.P.S. I don't really do it myself because of a mix of: neurotypical behaviour not making sense to me, not being good at masking, being too exhausted of it and not seeing much benefit - people still dislike me no matter how hard I try to jump through their hoops of stupid social rules that no one explains the point of to me, just constantly judge/punish me for not conforming, and I just dislike it. Not diagnosed though (don't even think it's possible in my country as an adult) :/

Thanks for sharing, i've already checked a bunch of autism tests, but i feel like it, i don't know how to say but... Explains some behavior, whilst completly missing why i'm doing it, and it seems to work the complete opposite of how i do, just ending up with similar results.
It's a shame they don't do diagnostics in your country, it looks like it mightve helped you :/

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

Yes. This is a problem I have struggled with for my whole life. You see, I never saw it as weird or out of the normal. It just comes naturally for me to sort of mimic people. I guess in a way it's my way of showing them respect. So that they feel good about the things they say and the way they say them and idk stuff like that I guess. And also I'm just trying to understand how to be "cool" and "fun" like every one else. I guess this is just a drawn out way of saying I'm trying to fit in. But a few people in my life have made it very clear to me that this behavior is strange. It's all I've ever known though so.. whatever I guess. But it's made me very depressed to find out that other people do in fact think I'm just some sort of mindless mimicking fool. I've been told I have a bird brain. Nowadays I just blame it on my drug and alcohol abuse, but that's not the case. I've always been this way. Just never knew it was a bad way to be.