Anyone else can't imagine a future?

[cutejellybean]

I have a really hard time imagining myself in the future. I'm only 19, but I just can't picture myself living any longer than this. It feels like any chance of a future is just a distant, hopeful dream, and I was just meant to die now. It feels like this has to happen, and I have no other choice. Life feels so numb and fake.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't want to think about the fact that I could potentially be trapped here for much longer slowly decaying from age just to die anyway. Existing certainly is such a futile process that leads to nothing and nowhere other than our inevitable fate, and of course it could never appeal to me existing in this harmful world that is filled with endless risks and the potential to suffer so extremely.

Life certainly isn't for me in any way and it's so horrible how there is no straightforward way to cease existing. The only future I wish for is one where I'm finally not existing, completely unaware of the hell that is existing as of course life in itself is the true problem that only death could solve.