Anyone else a former agoraphobe/NEET

[miles-away]

Got homeschooled/isolated at the age of 12. Spent 8 years inside my house, not talking to anyone outside of my immediate family. It's very weird being a member of society now. I feel like I time travelled in the shittiest way possible. At times, I still feel like a 12 year old surrounded by a bunch of adults.

Can anyone else relate?

 

[autumn68]

i was agoraphobic from 14-22, i feel very similarly. i miss it a lot sometimes but i have too many responsibilities to ever go back to it now.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I spent almost my entire childhood going to schools that taught me nothing but how to survive abuse, then my physical (and mental) disabilities caught up with me before I could go to high school. I feel that every day. I essentially became a recluse for years.

I actually didn't know what NEET was unril people here talked about it, but it's crazy there's actually a term!

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I was borderline agoraphobic from 19-25. I went full hermit mode after high school. Gradual reintroduction to the outside world worked to some degree, but I still feel anxious around people. I know the feeling of dissonance with other people who never experienced that discontinuity. Although in some ways I feel the other way around, like I'm surrounded by 12 year olds xD, while also feeling like a 12 year old myself in other ways.

I think about the wasted time a lot, but I also rationalize it by telling myself I did the best I knew how to at the time.

 

[overlyelusive]

Yeah, in a way. I know it's useless to think this way but it makes me feel a lot of guilt for wasting such a large portion of my 20's being too paralyzed to go out and talk to people and make friends.

 

[4colliez]

I don't know if I was fully agoraphobic from ages 12-14 but I was basically unable to socially interact and had some other phobias. I got a bit better for a few years and between 17-19 was a neet. I was miserable at that time tbh but I do miss having no responsibilities. Now I feel guilty if I have a day where I'm not productive and I feel like my social skills have been stunned

 

[Oreki]

I was borderline agoraphobic from 19-25. I went full hermit mode after high school. Gradual reintroduction to the outside world worked to some degree, but I still feel anxious around people. I know the feeling of dissonance with other people who never experienced that discontinuity. Although in some ways I feel the other way around, like I'm surrounded by 12 year olds xD, while also feeling like a 12 year old myself in other ways.

I think about the wasted time a lot, but I also rationalize it by telling myself I did the best I knew how to at the time.

'I think about the wasted time a lot'

This hits home, and I've also been thinking about it a lot lately

 

[madeincruddy]

Definitely. I've gone back to my reclusive lifestyle, but when I was working I felt extremely out of place and I think it was pretty obvious. I'm autistic and spent most of my life isolated due to severe social anxiety, so people can easily tell something is 'wrong' with me, even if they can't really put their finger on it. People were nice to me, but in the sense that I kind of got treated like a pet. Still, it was nice to finally have that sense of normalcy.

I'm back in isolation, though. Not socially anxious anymore, but I'm not speaking to many people outside of family. Ofc I'd like friends but it's hard when you're stuck at home ;;

 

[Oreki]

I have this phobia, and I really hate socializing. Even without it, I think I would still find it draining and exhausting either way. Somehow, I both want to be unapproachable and don't want to be at the same time. This contradiction creates a constant tension inside me, and I can't stand the mess in my own head, does anyone else ever feel like this??

 

[Proceed]

NEET but not agoraphobe.

 

[Lady_V]

Yup. Dropped out of school at 15 and became a NEET for like 10 years. I am so fucking far behind everyone socially, it is embarrassing at an older age.

 

[Spite]

I used to be a NEET until I was forced to get a job. Got my first paid job at 22 years old and have been working as a full-time wageslave ever since. It's soul-crushing. I often wish I could be a NEET again but I don't know, I remember being very depressed and feeling hopeless when I was unemployed as well. It's like picking between two poisons.

 

[Fresh Soju]

Kinda NEET right now, though I keep going in and out of government "offers" where they try to help me but keep failing as they don't treat the root cause of me failing to be a part of society — or rather a wage slave.
Though it would be nice being able to work as I could invest and save as much as I could and get $$$ from that, then later say fuck society and have cash to just coast until I die without feeling guilt in any way. Being a NEET has a ton of restrictions on how you can live life and what you can do, sadly, at least if you want to travel, earn passive income, invest, have an emergency buffer and savings etc.

 

[Rust]

Agoraphobia properly fucked with me when I started living alone. It primarily affected my health, since I'd starve myself for extended periods of time. I'd develop delusions of grandeur due to the starvation during that period.

Five years later, work somewhat helped resolve things, but I still can't go to restaurants or shops easily. Co-workers pick up on that, but I know they wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain.

Incidentally, most of my co-workers are younger than me, yet have more "complete" lives I guess. But I also recognise that I had a very different path in life to the rest of them. Agoraphobia is shitty, and I do like to think I tried my best given the circumstances.

 

[kunikuzushi]

NEET since 2018. Finally started going out again this year but still NEET. I don't think I'll ever be able to reassimilate into society.

 

[Dark Moon]

I'm still a NEET despite applying for jobs and getting ghosted. I have little to no support to be a part of society even if I wanted to. I don't need money and I'm disabled so I don't have to work but people still look at you as some bum/loser; I probably shouldn't care what other people think but that makes meeting people really hard because sooner or later they will ask the question "what do you do for a living?"

 

[singingcrow]

how did you get out of it?

 

[left0vers]

I still am. Going outside drains me on a physical level, it feels like waddling through marshes with 20 pounds on my shoulders and a migraine. All I can do upon returning home is crash on my couch and fall asleep.

And the age dissociation is so real, it's like I'm simultaneously a nursing home senior and a kid who doesn't know anything about the world.

 

[Asahina]

I resonate with this so much. I was homeschooled for nearly my whole life and now I'm almost 30 and still in college going to class with people 10 years younger than me with actual hopes, dreams, and ambitions. I don't feel like I fit in and don't know if I even want to, surface-level social interactions tire me heavily. I'm tired and I don't look forward to my future and it's hard finding the motivation to try anymore when a large part of my soul has given up and is waiting to die. I would love to be a NEET with no expectations that doesn't have to interact with the world anymore, but that's not really realistic.