I don't think they'd really be that bothered. if anyone is too shocked you wouldn't be there to know
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Blue Rose
Student
- Feb 6, 2021
- 156
99.99...% People never care what I'm doing. Nobody knows what I'm thinking.
But I know. My parents and my beloved will not be able to overcome their grief...
And probably, people who want to ctb will get SN or pickling salt harder.
Many hypocrites and 'good' pro-life will make noises about SN and me. For a while.
Wow, how could they obtain SN? They spoiled the honour of our country! What a shame!
We MUST regulate SN by law immediately! A poor suicide. They were too weak to live on.
My, my. How didn't you know your child had been so depressed(lie!)?
......
Anyway, the awful world will never stop for me. In this world, I am merely dust.
But I know. My parents and my beloved will not be able to overcome their grief...
And probably, people who want to ctb will get SN or pickling salt harder.
Many hypocrites and 'good' pro-life will make noises about SN and me. For a while.
Wow, how could they obtain SN? They spoiled the honour of our country! What a shame!
We MUST regulate SN by law immediately! A poor suicide. They were too weak to live on.
My, my. How didn't you know your child had been so depressed(lie!)?
......
Anyway, the awful world will never stop for me. In this world, I am merely dust.
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Marchioness
Eternal sleep
- Feb 17, 2020
- 295
When I was younger maybe but with how I see people not even blink an eye when celebs pass nowadays... I'm sure my passing is of little consequence also
I'm not necessarily curious, I am fairly certain I know exactly how the few people close to me will react. I have shared my depression and suicidal thoughts with a select few, and I have, in the past, worried that when I ctb they will do the song and dance of, "Oh my god, I am so surprised!" or the, "We couldn't have imagined he would do this!"
So I've made sure to write up several notes all directed to people in my that will make sure those individuals who I have shared these feelings with will not be able to hide the fact that they were the ones who refused to help.
So I've made sure to write up several notes all directed to people in my that will make sure those individuals who I have shared these feelings with will not be able to hide the fact that they were the ones who refused to help.
A quote I stumbled on years ago makes my mind curious
'Banksy once said: "You die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time"
Copied from google, idk who originally said this lol
'Banksy once said: "You die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time"
Copied from google, idk who originally said this lol
I often wonder about this, more specifically with the "how long to move on" sort of thing. I have a large family and work environment and I hold a place in the community where people know me. I'm not riddled by guilt or anything, just want to know how long my friends and family will have to be in pain before they move on.
lofticries
obedear
- Feb 27, 2021
- 1,470
Not really. I'm kind of hoping that they don't react to it much at all. If I could erase everyone's memory of me that'd be sweet. I'd hate being the center of attention even if i'm already dead and gone.
Honestly I don't think many would care. What puts my mind at ease is that the biggest fear that my Mum has, is that she would go before me.......she won't have to worry about that at all......
I worry for my best friend, who lost her father to sucide, that I might scar her even further.
I worry for my parents reaction, even though we don't get along. Losing a child must be one of the hardest things.
I worry for my brother. Most of all for my nephews, who love me very much and look up to me and have lost another uncle recently. I worry that my act would influence them, plant this terrible tought in their heads - that they belong to a fucked up family, so that one day when things go sour (and they will) they might take the same route. Particulary for the boy, who is introverted, shy, emotional and full of self-doubt just like I was.
I worry for my parents reaction, even though we don't get along. Losing a child must be one of the hardest things.
I worry for my brother. Most of all for my nephews, who love me very much and look up to me and have lost another uncle recently. I worry that my act would influence them, plant this terrible tought in their heads - that they belong to a fucked up family, so that one day when things go sour (and they will) they might take the same route. Particulary for the boy, who is introverted, shy, emotional and full of self-doubt just like I was.
Yes, I do smile when I think of my boss clambering trying to clean up the mess it would leave behind for him. Its a huge motovater.
Apricity
Wizard
- Jul 27, 2021
- 642
I know a few people would be impacted if I CTB, but I feel that forcing yourself to live in unrelenting pain and misery isn't worth sparing the feelings of others. Anyone that tells someone "You have to live for..." Or "What's it going to do to...", is an ignorant ass.
They have no idea what it's like to be angry and sad just because you woke up in the morning, or that feeling of utter emptiness that can only be filled by something you've lost forever and can never get back.
I spend my days agonizing over things I wish were different, things I can't stop thinking about just long enough to sleep unless I get drunk, take Xanax, or both. I spend my sleeping hours having nightmares that I wake up from with my heart racing and on the verge of tears, only to return to them once I go back to sleep.
I'm on medication and have been in therapy for years, but those things don't help. I'm so tired of sitting in that chair, listening to platitudes, and of taking pills every day so I don't go on a rampage. I'm tired of living for others, and will hopefully soon stop living, for myself.
They have no idea what it's like to be angry and sad just because you woke up in the morning, or that feeling of utter emptiness that can only be filled by something you've lost forever and can never get back.
I spend my days agonizing over things I wish were different, things I can't stop thinking about just long enough to sleep unless I get drunk, take Xanax, or both. I spend my sleeping hours having nightmares that I wake up from with my heart racing and on the verge of tears, only to return to them once I go back to sleep.
I'm on medication and have been in therapy for years, but those things don't help. I'm so tired of sitting in that chair, listening to platitudes, and of taking pills every day so I don't go on a rampage. I'm tired of living for others, and will hopefully soon stop living, for myself.
StupidLizard
snake charmer
- Feb 21, 2019
- 45
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,398
I do not know many people apart from a few family members, but I know they would be sad, but they are able to live their lives fine without me. The way I see it though, I never asked to be born and to suffer so I have no obligations to stay alive. I do not think about it often, how others would react. By that point I will be no longer alive.
Yeah its like in my head I'm the fly on the wall an people are talking like why would he do it and all my stupid mess would everyone forget about me
Dear Agony
The Void
- Jan 24, 2020
- 296
I know for a fact it'll hurt a lot of people. And I know this is horrible, but it makes me happy I would make some *specific* people sad. That is fully my intention.
I've spent a long time in my life crying and contemplating suicide with the name of certain people going through my head, while those same people laughed at me behind my back (and eventually forgot about me). It is only fair my name goes through their head for an amount of time, with the same feelings of despair they made me feel. Don't get me wrong, my CTB is NOT about vengeance (even because I won't even be here to actually see their reaction). I'm just saying that idea makes me satisfied enough.
As for my close family and people who actually tried to help me, I feel very guilty thinking about their reaction. I think the only one who will not get over it ever is my mom though, that is if I don't completely ruin her life.
I've spent a long time in my life crying and contemplating suicide with the name of certain people going through my head, while those same people laughed at me behind my back (and eventually forgot about me). It is only fair my name goes through their head for an amount of time, with the same feelings of despair they made me feel. Don't get me wrong, my CTB is NOT about vengeance (even because I won't even be here to actually see their reaction). I'm just saying that idea makes me satisfied enough.
As for my close family and people who actually tried to help me, I feel very guilty thinking about their reaction. I think the only one who will not get over it ever is my mom though, that is if I don't completely ruin her life.
I am horrible sick for 3 years.. so my old me is long gone.. coudlnt take big part in anyones life anymore.. i think i was a rly.rly Important Person for many people.. but as my illness took already my soul away this is not the case anymore.. so i dont know.. maybe they will miss the me that was already killed by the illness in.my brain.. but i dont think i am a big loss now.. they cant just pretend not any longer i can get better and there Son / friend(me) will come back .. but i am just a hollow shell and dead weigh.. sorrey mama. I wished i would have killed myself 3 years ago.. fuck the people who say.. just wait it can get better.. thanks now people will remember me as a vegetable..
I know my parents would be hit to a large point, but they will eventually get over it. At least I think they would and this is what is stopping me from CTB this second. Like I don't know if they would get over it. And to answer your question is yes because if I knew they would quickly get over it then I know it's safe to CTB. It would be one less thing holding me back, and it would be a major thing.
I honestly think most all others in my family wouldn't think anything of my death or would get over it within minutes to hours. Some might even use it as an excuse to get attention or to manipulate others. My grandparents while I feel as they love me now. I feel like they would just end up telling my parents I went to hell for killing myself. They are super religious and I seen them pull this shit before and other things like that.
My dogs I think they will have a hard time, but I also seen it where other dogs have died and it doesn't seem to effect them at all. So IDK.
I don't have any friends.
The only thing I think it would do at the end is make my parents more isolated, my sister who is a drunken drug addict would use it against them even with it mostly being her fault, my family outside of my grandparents have nothing to do with my parents thanks to my sister being a sociopath and her manipulating everyone to be against my parents (which ended up getting my sister a car and a bunch other things), my grandparents will most likely not comfort my parents and instead telling them I'm not in hell (as if I am not now). Or I could be all wrong and maybe it would force change which will bring people together or maybe it will do nothing at all.
Again, yes I would love to know what happens to those around me if I took my own life.
I honestly think most all others in my family wouldn't think anything of my death or would get over it within minutes to hours. Some might even use it as an excuse to get attention or to manipulate others. My grandparents while I feel as they love me now. I feel like they would just end up telling my parents I went to hell for killing myself. They are super religious and I seen them pull this shit before and other things like that.
My dogs I think they will have a hard time, but I also seen it where other dogs have died and it doesn't seem to effect them at all. So IDK.
I don't have any friends.
The only thing I think it would do at the end is make my parents more isolated, my sister who is a drunken drug addict would use it against them even with it mostly being her fault, my family outside of my grandparents have nothing to do with my parents thanks to my sister being a sociopath and her manipulating everyone to be against my parents (which ended up getting my sister a car and a bunch other things), my grandparents will most likely not comfort my parents and instead telling them I'm not in hell (as if I am not now). Or I could be all wrong and maybe it would force change which will bring people together or maybe it will do nothing at all.
Again, yes I would love to know what happens to those around me if I took my own life.
insanedoomer
Zé"HaZarD
- Jan 10, 2021
- 244
at least i'll be dead , then i won't have no interest or worries about that point .
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