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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
I don't have anyone. I've never been wanted even for friendships, let alone anything more.
He'll even on here the people I've tried to talk to what nothing to do with me.
What's the point t in life if I have to spend it entirely alone. I can't handle it.

I don't really have any reliable/safe methods but frankly I'm starting not to give a fuck.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,789
For me it's more specifically not having any possibility of getting a gf than general loneliness but I suppose if you'd have a gf you wouldn't be lonely in general, either. This is something that can theoretically be solved, at least the not having friends part, but it might be tough. First off, it's more likely that we'll get friends if we are relatively content and interested in others. So, if we have depression and are wallowing in our own misery it's good to take care of that before starting to attend social events or attempting to. Easier said than done, but I think this is a good first step. Comes down to becoming ok with our daily life and having some basic level of self-esteem and confidence.

Now, some people might find luck in doing it the other way around. Fixing themselves up temporarily and getting out there first, letting the inner stuff work itself out later, idk.

Maybe it would be good to do a bunch of research online and finding social success stories of people similar to you. Then there's the possibility of getting really into some hobby that involves social interactions, as well. Again, to get from acquaintance to friend will be helped by not being suicidally depressed so that's a priority.

I think the biggest thing is to not get overwhelmed by how much we feel we need to change, but to instead take it one day at a time and slowly develop into someone that's capable of making friends. One visit to the gym there, one round of tennis here (I don't know what normal people do for fun), waking up at the same time every day, whatever it is you feel will boost your self-esteem and confidence.

Meditation maybe, writing a diary, talking to yourself, etc.

Not trying to give you a to-do list or anything, I don't follow my own advice but I've basically given up on social stuff atm.
 
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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
I have tried alot of those things. I exercise a least 3 times a day, but haven't got anywhere with it. I get up everyday for work and nobody really wants to interact with me at all.
Besides a couple of trips to the cinema (so they didn't have to talk to me) I haven't been able to do anything with my co workers. They don't even want to speak to me on breaks.
I've even tried dating apps. You know you're a short, fugly prick when the only people who VIEW your profile are in their 50s/+ are bots.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,789
I have tried alot of those things. I exercise a least 3 times a day, but haven't got anywhere with it. I get up everyday for work and nobody really wants to interact with me at all.
Besides a couple of trips to the cinema (so they didn't have to talk to me) I haven't been able to do anything with my co workers. They don't even want to speak to me on breaks.
I've even tried dating apps. You know you're a short, fugly prick when the only people who VIEW your profile are in their 50s/+ are bots.
The first and possibly hardest thing is to lose the depression and become happy without friends/gf. Most people never have to do this, but I think it's almost necessary when we're trying to jump-start the social process.
 
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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
The first and possibly hardest thing is to lose the depression and become happy without friends/gf. Most people never have to do this, but I think it's almost necessary when we're trying to jump-start the social process.
I understand what you mean, but have no idea how to. Plus even if I begin to like myself, people objectively still won't, so I'll just slip back into rightfully hating myself when I realise I shouldn't like me. You can't be content being 100% alone.

It's slightly different if people want to be around you but you choose not to engage/have been in friendships/relationships and choose not to, but when you'll never get the choice it's impossible to live with yourself.
 
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NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Warlock
Mar 30, 2020
745
I've been through the same situation so i don't have an advice to give you. Sending you a virtual hug.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,605
I'm sorry you are suffering. Loneliness can be a painful feeling and can send many of us into despair. People can be very disappointing and it is an awful feeling to be let down by others. My loneliness isn't so much lacking connections to others, but it is a empty feeling. I spend a lot of time with my own thoughts and it can be depressing. I wish you the best.
 
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Superdeterminist

Superdeterminist

Enlightened
Apr 5, 2020
1,876
It's definitely one of the reasons for me, although not the biggest one. I remind myself that relationships and friendships can turn very ugly and be a source of immense suffering (which is absolutely true), which helps me to cope with it. There is the potential for agony on either side of the fence.
 
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