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HermitLonerGuy

HermitLonerGuy

Warlock
Sep 28, 2022
707
Sort of like okay ive assessed my life thoroughly , some things cannot change , some things cannot be helped and some things would be permanent with me in life thus my quality of life will not be worth it and death is the next best logical step?
 
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Sadboyspecimen

Sadboyspecimen

Member
Feb 8, 2022
84
Not sure if it's what you mean, but I've damaged my reputation over and over by being stupid. Even when I have tried to start all over in a new place I seem to end up very quickly as the bad guy. People hate me. I'm sarcastic a lot. I do not care about other people's lives, and I'm certain that it's obvious despite the fact that I try really hard to pretend to care. And I've been that way all my life. No matter how many times I tell myself that I'm gonna become a better person, I just can't do it. So I feel like my best option is to kill myself. I can't hold down a job bc my coworkers end up trying to make me look bad after I offend them. So I quit.

To think of all the times people praised me for being such a good, quiet kid. All of the times people have told I should talk more, and stand up for myself so I don't get suckered into doing things I really don't want to do. And once I finally did they didn't like me at all. I guess I just kept my mouth shut bc I'm actually an asshole.
 
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Rounded Agony

Rounded Agony

Hard to live, hard to die
Aug 8, 2022
785
Someone I know once said that once you've "logic-ed" yourself into misery, there's no going back. Yes the world has good things in it, but it's part of our animal nature to disproportionately get overly focused on them and blow them out of proportion.

The mass rape and pillage of the planet and all life on it being carried out by so many humans who are simply trying to make a life for themselves, because a rather small number of "elite" among us have totally screwed up the cycle of balance on this planet and made it so the only way to live is to participate in this wretched farce... the inherent abusive and tribalistic nature of humans as well as most other animate species. Even plants with "kill" others, like vines growing up a tree to get better access to sunlight, eventually causing the poor thing to wither away and perish...other bs I can't think of off the top of my head, it's all quite vile.

It's a miracle any of us are still fucking here. Get me out of this shitshow.
 
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HermitLonerGuy

HermitLonerGuy

Warlock
Sep 28, 2022
707
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
Yes through assisted dying due to medical issues. I do not intend to die a long painful death where cure is not possible. We would do the same kindness to our beloved pets who are suffering. So very planned, logic, thoughtout and legal in the right country.
 
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P

pinnsvin

Member
Aug 26, 2022
9
I think half of my reasons are logical. Like I obviously have emotional reasons too, but even if I didn't have that I wouldn't want to live in a world like this. The way I see it, society is just way too toxic and also what is there to live for anyway? Eventually you'll die alone anyway, until then you have to live in misery.
I rather not go through life like this, and hopefully can end it soon.
 
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SunshineAndSuicide

SunshineAndSuicide

Sunshine is what's keeping me alive
Aug 24, 2022
75
I definitely have logic behind my decision. I've tried a couple of times to make my life better and failed. If I fail again, there's no more will to try and it just makes sense to exit by my own will and end this repetitive nonsense. No need to pile on the suffering until I'm well into my 80's.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
Sort of like okay ive assessed my life thoroughly , some things cannot change , some things cannot be helped and some things would be permanent with me in life thus my quality of life will not be worth it and death is the next best logical step?
Yes this is why I'm crying!!!

I want to live but logically cannot.
 
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Hangnail

Hangnail

Member
Jul 14, 2022
85
Yeah, I am disfigured. I don't think my quality of life will be on par to before my disfigurement and I don't want to live with the humiliation and tarnishing of my reputation. I uaed to love fashion and beauty but now I can't even look at myself in a mirror without feeling disgusted.

One thing I've learned in life is that people are cruel. People tried to sabotage me because they hated me for the things I had. I know I will be mocked. I am aware that most of my social influence came from my looks, so I was able to gain support through popularity, but without my looks I'll only get bullied and forgotten.
 
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Temporal_Anchorite

Temporal_Anchorite

wanting outta this bitch
Sep 23, 2022
138
At the risk of sounding overly self-pitying or edgy, I've come to realize I'm just fundamentally incompatible with most of society. But it's also largely my own fault. I've fucked things up to an irreparable degree.

I'm incapable of maintaining even the simplest of familial and platonic relationships. I've burned so many bridges, I believe I've rightfully earned the title of serial arsonist. Consequently, this results in a remarkably nonexistent support system & social circle.

I'm 24 and glance around at all of my former peer groups thriving in areas where I have managed to monumentally falter. Sure, they may not have everything, but at least they have something to hold on to. Something that keeps them grounded: a dependable friend, a significant other, a rich social life, a stable career, a college degree, an attentive family...some sort of foundation to maintain balance. I on the other hand, am in a constant state of turbulent freefall.

I managed to get fired from an excellent job due to my spotty attendance and time blindness. Financially, I'm fairly certain I've managed to fuck up my credit despite never even owning a credit card (consistently missing toll road payments will do that to a mf'er).

Every instance of personal progress is immediately undermined by some counterforce exponentially greater—a modern Sisyphus. I considered hitting the reset button on my life by enlisting in the military, but even that opportunity I've been barred from due to my regularly prescribed ADHD medication.

I'm just so fucking exhausted. So tired of restarting over and over again. Why continue to endure this?
 
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spectraltease

spectraltease

When everything is lost everything is found
Sep 23, 2022
317
Sort of like okay ive assessed my life thoroughly , some things cannot change , some things cannot be helped and some things would be permanent with me in life thus my quality of life will not be worth it and death is the next best logical step?
I wouldn't call myself "all the time" depressed. I thought about it a lot, and I feel like I was born to die. All these last few months I didn't want to realize that this way out is, but as I was walking towards the cliff, I realized that this is the only way out. No matter in which situation I think about what's ahead of me, I always think the same. I know things won't change, I know I will always trapped in this world when I don't do it. So yes, im prepared.
 
T

Tiny Little Tree

-
Jan 25, 2021
85
This is my idea of the "right" reason. Not that I consider any other reason "wrong", just my opinion I guess that the decision should come from at least some sort of reasoning and not because of desperation or experiencing a shock. Easy enough to say I suppose, not gonna pretend I haven't succumb to a shock myself...
 
H

HerculePoirot

(Frozen account)
Sep 25, 2022
750
Yes. Thanks (!) to the progress made by the medical science, our life expectancy has been extended to insane levels, so most of us will die in a very poor condition, mentally and physically, unless we do something to prevent this on time.
I wouldn't allow the society to decide when I'm supposed to disappear, but I demand the right to decide it for myself.
 
yourrealname

yourrealname

Member
Aug 14, 2022
18
yea. that's why it sucks so bad. im not just emo and impulsively going to do it. i have to do it bc i have no other choice. it suxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
lets see, 24/7, even when things are going ok i think "im better off dead". yeah if i can keep the same thought through changes its probably been thought through
 
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U

Unununium

Member
Aug 30, 2022
17
Me. I haven't even cried, I just don't cry in general at all. Just a logic-based choice. I spend a considerable amount of time analyzing my thoughts and emotions on a near-daily basis. There just doesn't seem to be a plausible way for me to achieve happiness, nor I have managed to feel any sustained happiness in the past, pretty much ever... I genuinely think I might have never experienced true happiness. Just being "glad", at best, but not wholeheartedly happy, and also not for whole periods of time, just for moments. A day's length at best. I've been putting off killing myself for nearly two decades but I think there's really no benefit in staying alive any longer now.
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,801
Once you realise something is permanent and can't really be fixed during your lifetime, then I think the catalyst for misery and contemplating ctb is logical/rational rather than purely emotional. I've been suicidal since I was around 12 years old, and have tried to analyse and repair my life from all sorts of angles. At this point, I'm out of options, so the conclusion to this story seems pretty rational to me.

Sure, when I was 12 or 13 years old, it made sense to say, I'll wait it out. There must have been some sort of novel help awaiting in the future right? Something that would ease me out of all the damage done by trauma. When I found out I had autism, and then the physical health problems started compounding too, I searched for so many things to ameliorate these issues, only to find out that it was too late and the damage had already been done.

Now, I am 23 years old with no family (except a grandparent who is at the age where death is imminent), no close friends, years worth of trauma, abusive relationships, and neglect that gave me ptsd, incurable health problems like chronic fatigue, IBS that's so bad to the point where I have to use enemas, degenerative discs, have no prospects for employment because I can't work a 9-5 with my problems, autism that prevents me from forming good relationships and causes me constant sensory discomfort.. Plus I've probably have about 20 different pharmaceutical treatments under my belt for various things that have failed massively.

I have a pretty clear idea of the tools and resources someone needs to build a half decent life, and I have none of them. When I've had jobs before, or during school, and now university, I've been surrounded by people whose parents or family members laid the foundations for them to succeed. My health problems have now been around for about 6 years, they aren't going away, and unlike everyone else I don't have a family to support and look after me- no matter how disabled I become. There really is no help for adults because we are assumed to have stable childhoods that prepared us to survive in the future.

One can survive without some of their needs being met, but you can't sustain yourself when a majority of needs are being neglected consistently. The system of "help" isn't designed for this. It's made for people who had a temporary bout of depression or anxiety, got cured within a few weeks with help and support from family, friends, and institutions, and then try to speak for everyone. The system is not built for chronically suicidal people, abuse victims, those with childhood trauma, physical health problems, or mental illnesses that go beyond cookie cutter definitions.

I'm not being emotional when I say I don't have any options left but eventual ctb. I've come to this conclusion through years of trial and error, pain, and failure. To have people say this sort of affliction is temporary or impulsive is like spit in one's face, when you've tried everything to make a life and the world has denied you of that.
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
Sort of like okay ive assessed my life thoroughly , some things cannot change , some things cannot be helped and some things would be permanent with me in life thus my quality of life will not be worth it and death is the next best logical step?
OF course, I have, logic suggests that my ill health cannot improve, my financial health cannot improve, my job of 20 years sucks, and I'm very very tired of it all.
 
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,824
Yes, logic-based decision also, not just emotional---I wake up each morning just as extremely depressed as the day she died Jan 24th--and its hardly just the morning being depressed, its all day--To continue to go on like this for much longer would actually defy logic
 
Cerulea

Cerulea

Student
Sep 19, 2022
101
Yeah, it's a pretty even split for me. Like others have mentioned, it didn't take me long in this life to look around and do the math. Clearly, there is something at play on a global level that I don't agree with and don't belong to. I know who I am and what I'm about. There's a lot here that I won't tolerate for a moment longer than I have to. I won't participate in a scheme that feels real sinister.

Of course, I also have an emotional component. I've had windows of life where everything wasn't total garbage and that has caused me tremendous grief in the end. I think if I only had one or the other I may not be as firm in my conviction. But because I can see that this situation doesn't get any better for me, or anyone else really, I can easily decide to hop off the ride.
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Logically I'll run out of money at some point…
 
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Himalayan

Himalayan

"Wake up to reality, nothing ever goes as planned"
Sep 30, 2022
422
Same thing. Imo it's an error to see logic and emotions separated from each other.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,494
Yes. I personally believe that suicide is a more rational choice over continuing to endure life and I view non existence as being preferable to any kind of life. There is nothing appealing or desirable about existence and there is nothing that could ever make me want to stay in this world. With life comes the inevitability of problems and suffering which is why I really wish that I never existed at all.

I have no interest in experiencing any kind of pain and enduring existence just to witness myself deteriorating from old age. That is beyond horrifying to me. How could it be rational wanting to suffer. It could never be for me. There is no value to any of this and I prefer the sound of permanent rest to being trapped in this human body where life can get much worse at any moment.

So while my desire to exit is caused by my personal dislike towards the concept of life, from a logical perspective it makes no sense for me to stay alive when to die would remove the cause of all problems in the first place which is life itself. My future will involve so much more suffering so leaving this life behind would certainly be the right thing.
 
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VKVK

VKVK

.
Oct 18, 2021
112
Once you realise something is permanent and can't really be fixed during your lifetime, then I think the catalyst for misery and contemplating ctb is logical/rational rather than purely emotional. I've been suicidal since I was around 12 years old, and have tried to analyse and repair my life from all sorts of angles. At this point, I'm out of options, so the conclusion to this story seems pretty rational to me.

Sure, when I was 12 or 13 years old, it made sense to say, I'll wait it out. There must have been some sort of novel help awaiting in the future right? Something that would ease me out of all the damage done by trauma. When I found out I had autism, and then the physical health problems started compounding too, I searched for so many things to ameliorate these issues, only to find out that it was too late and the damage had already been done.

Now, I am 23 years old with no family (except a grandparent who is at the age where death is imminent), no close friends, years worth of trauma, abusive relationships, and neglect that gave me ptsd, incurable health problems like chronic fatigue, IBS that's so bad to the point where I have to use enemas, degenerative discs, have no prospects for employment because I can't work a 9-5 with my problems, autism that prevents me from forming good relationships and causes me constant sensory discomfort.. Plus I've probably have about 20 different pharmaceutical treatments under my belt for various things that have failed massively.

I have a pretty clear idea of the tools and resources someone needs to build a half decent life, and I have none of them. When I've had jobs before, or during school, and now university, I've been surrounded by people whose parents or family members laid the foundations for them to succeed. My health problems have now been around for about 6 years, they aren't going away, and unlike everyone else I don't have a family to support and look after me- no matter how disabled I become. There really is no help for adults because we are assumed to have stable childhoods that prepared us to survive in the future.

One can survive without some of their needs being met, but you can't sustain yourself when a majority of needs are being neglected consistently. The system of "help" isn't designed for this. It's made for people who had a temporary bout of depression or anxiety, got cured within a few weeks with help and support from family, friends, and institutions, and then try to speak for everyone. The system is not built for chronically suicidal people, abuse victims, those with childhood trauma, physical health problems, or mental illnesses that go beyond cookie cutter definitions.

I'm not being emotional when I say I don't have any options left but eventual ctb. I've come to this conclusion through years of trial and error, pain, and failure. To have people say this sort of affliction is temporary or impulsive is like spit in one's face, when you've tried everything to make a life and the world has denied you of that.
Truest post in the entire website. I feel everything you've written. It's truly a shame how we never had a chance to begin with. Just bad luck after bad luck overall. I still fear death to an extent, but the pain I'm in every single day is so unbearable at this point that I have to bite the bullet and find out what's on the other side (or if there even is anything). Best case scenario is non-existence.
 
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