EndItQuickly
Member
- Oct 30, 2019
- 88
I'm currently married to a wonderful, beautiful happy woman. I've always thought that if I try to move on from my ex the feelings of longing and despair would subside. The connection I had with my ex was unlike anything felt with another person. We would stay up talking all night, deep and meaningful and effortless conversation, the kind of laughing that was so carefree and happy, I truly believed that she was the most beautiful person I've ever seen...I was simply infinitely interested in her.
She was more ambitious than me, which led to us living a great distance from each other. She moved on seemingly easily, she's engaged now to a wealthy dentist/business man. The reality of it all is crushing.
It's been 14 years and I still feel that emptiness...my situation won't get better so I've decided that leaving this world will give my wife enough time to find someone better and have children before it's too late. No one knows I feel this way; I've been literally lying to myself and everyone around me for 14 long years. It's made life so incredibly depressing and exhausting. Of course, this isn't the only reason I'll CTB next month, but it has been a heavy emotional burden. I know on paper this doesn't sound like much, but I am so desperate to escape this pain :/
Sorry for the long venting post, but is anyone else in a similar boat?
She was more ambitious than me, which led to us living a great distance from each other. She moved on seemingly easily, she's engaged now to a wealthy dentist/business man. The reality of it all is crushing.
It's been 14 years and I still feel that emptiness...my situation won't get better so I've decided that leaving this world will give my wife enough time to find someone better and have children before it's too late. No one knows I feel this way; I've been literally lying to myself and everyone around me for 14 long years. It's made life so incredibly depressing and exhausting. Of course, this isn't the only reason I'll CTB next month, but it has been a heavy emotional burden. I know on paper this doesn't sound like much, but I am so desperate to escape this pain :/
Sorry for the long venting post, but is anyone else in a similar boat?