i like salvia. my first trip felt like reality had seams. like the world was a costume and i accidentally picked too hard on a loose thread. one moment i was sitting there, aware of the room, the light, the shape of my body. then everything shifted sideways. it did not feel like drifting off. it felt like snapping. like something grabbed the steering wheel of consciousness and turned it sharp, and suddenly i was not in the room anymore. or maybe i was, but the room was not the same.
it was strangely familiar. like a memory i was never supposed to recover. patterns unfolded around me, laughing, mechanical, almost cruel in their precision. everything was part of a system. everything. me, the walls, the air. and i could not tell if i had become the pattern or if i had always been it and only just remembered. there was this deep sense of being watched, not by someone, but by everything. like existence itself had eyes.
time did not pass. it was not frozen either. it just was not there. things looped, folded, echoed. i kept thinking, oh right. this. as if i had been there before birth. it was not warm or cold. it was not dark or bright. it just was. and i was not frightened exactly, but there was a weird grief in realizing how thin the veil is. how fake everything can feel. i laughed and cried at the same time without moving.
and then it ended. violently quiet. i was back in my body, in the same place, but everything looked wrong for a second. like the world was still reassembling itself, trying to put the mask back on before i noticed. my mouth was dry. i could not speak right away. but the first thought i had, the very first thing i could make sense of was. that was not a drug. that was something else entirely.
Considering where the forum we are on, I would not recommend doing it if you are in a seriously negative headspace as any drug can exacerbate negative feelings quite a lot
but i second this. its very important you are clear minded before you partake.
