![John Smith](/data/avatars/l/1/1582.jpg?1544829011)
John Smith
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2018
- 424
I am on clozapine and I get nauseated everyday from it as well as not being able to sleep for very long. It's really making me want to hang my self although going off of it would be even worse. They tried to take me off at one point but I got so sick from withdrawal I just puked constantly even when drinking water and had supersensitivity to smells that also made me puke violently. On top of that I had even worse insomnia and didn't sleep for many days at a time. The doctors didn't even believe it was from withdrawal. I got a kidney stone when I was in the psych ward being tapered off so they thought that everything was from that. Eventually I convinced them to put me back on it after my withdrawal symptoms turned into what I can only describe as hyper-focus that lasted 2 days and I decided to make it go away by taking some clozapine. Before I took the clozapine to make it stop my thoughts were 5 times as fast, I felt like I had just drank an entire glass filled with adderal. It was literally the most hellish experience of my entire life and I cried basically the entire time because it was so painful. It may not sound that bad but words don't do it justice. So now I get to choose the lesser of two evils. Do you have a story?