Anybody else wants to be comforted before ctb?

[fox_wannabe]

It is awkward and very intimate, but It would help to be comforted before ctb.

It feels very harsh wanting to ctb and preparing to It. It feels very lonely and alienating to be walking around a home depo with a rope and looking for something to stand on. (That is how I discovered real meaning of "kick the bucket"), and It is very lonely to attempt and look at the rope and fear of shame that comes when you decide not to ctb. It is very frustrating experience even to stand there thinking about attempting. The flood of emotions, tears, guilt, racing mind.

I wish for the whole process to be as easy as starting life. Sex is so easy when you get to it. Why couldn't we make suicide easy.
I saw thread of user Goat when he ctb and It broke my heart. He used partial, in his house, having comfortable surroundings and watching his favorite movie. I know his life turned badly, but he tried to comfort himself before death. I would like to think that after death, his soul watched the movie till the end and than departed into eternal rest that it deserved.

That is the reason I want to make goodbye thread. So I do not feel alone. Being alone in the forest with rope is not pleasant, but living as me and in my head is even worse.
I wish all of the people who want to ctb could find just a bit of comfort in something. Something that would make it less anxious and stressful.

 

[FuneralCry]

I want to feel at peace before death. I want my final moments to be filled with relief that this is all ending rather than pain and discomfort. I want a death which is just like falling into a deep sleep and I do not want to have to attempt a method that could fail. I wish it was easier, it should not have to be this difficult. I hate the society that takes away the peaceful methods.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

Yes, it's such a shame people suffer so much in this world and we can't even exit it without all the stigmas and beliefs that lead us to die lonesome and often wrecked with guilt and fear. We really are quite early in our evolution. Even partnering can cause legal and moral problems. How much of those moral problems are indoctrinated?

I will definitely make a goodbye thread even if I do it impulsively. You guys are a second type of family to me.

**

However one thing you said: about sex being easy, why can't leaving this world be easy too; I would disagree and say it's birth that brings us into this world aka: labour. This dimension in laborious to enter, endure and leave! We aren't all cut out for it, or at least the way the world is now.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I will make one to. Even If I come back, which is likely.
And yeah, we are kind off family. Like a tribe I would say. I love you all <3

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I've never really thought about it. I know I want to be alone and I want it to be quiet and still. I want to be comfortable.

But at the same time, if I get that desperate in the moment, I'll compromise.

 

[Ash]

It would be comforting to do it at the same time as someone else, in the same way that I've never wanted to go on fairground rides or rollercoasters on my own lol. Otherwise I suspect being comforted would push my survival instinct into overdrive and I wouldn't go through with it.

 

[fox_wannabe]

It would be comforting to do it at the same time as someone else, in the same way that I've never wanted to go on fairground rides or rollercoasters on my own lol. Otherwise I suspect being comforted would push my survival instinct into overdrive and I wouldn't go through with it.

I think If it was like SN it would be better. It wouldn't work with hanging or stuff like that.

 

[Lady black]

So I hope you won't feel alone with your rope then

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Not really. I just don't want to feel anxious and scared. But we're here for you, no matter what you decide.

 

[Bedrock48]

I understand how you're feeling, it can indeed be quite a lonely experience trying to ctb and I wish it could be different for those who don't want to be alone. Personally I'd love to ctb while in a hospital setting but that's tricky, from watchful eyes to the likelyhood of being saved. Not a problem I've found an easy solution to yet.

Goats goodbye thread was very touching and one I've looked back on a fair bit.

I hope you find a way to make your passing more comfortable if you do decide to take that path. Making a thread seems like a good start, maybe think of things you could bring along that give you a sense of comfort. A favourite poem? A sentimental item? Could even be as simple as waiting for favourable weather so you're not ctb while cold or rained on.

 

[DoodleBug]

Yeah,deep inside there is that ultimate longing for a pleasing, relaxing last trip of life. On the other hand, I don't want to possibly traumatize somebody, even though i know a couple of people who would have made amazing company at the final hour and whom I would trust 99,95%.

I wish you a pleasant night and we will be here for you no matter the outcome. Hardly anybody knows me here but ive Been visiting this forum daily for months. Its a good break at work where I'm surprisingly doing good at, like, yeah, i will make a delivery, kek, i wanna Die pretty damn badly but i'm holding onto a semi-risky promise of working abroad with some cool people from my job. Ye...after failing so many things in the meantime.

Still, though, if I were to finally ctb i would like to pass alone and with many letters left behind, not Scooby doo style, no ramblings of maniac, lets Hope, let friends solve them, i guess. Lets not make them overdramatic, pls. Partial suspension at the favorite spot. Neat.

Its all good, fam. Love and peace. No matter what the choices may be and what outcomes might ensue. Vibin'

 

[motel rooms]

If someone or something manages to comfort you before your attempt, you'll just back out of killing yourself. It has to hurt, it has to be horrible for a little while, there's no easy way out...

 

[AnonymousS]

It is awkward and very intimate, but It would help to be comforted before ctb.

It feels very harsh wanting to ctb and preparing to It. It feels very lonely and alienating to be walking around a home depo with a rope and looking for something to stand on. (That is how I discovered real meaning of "kick the bucket"), and It is very lonely to attempt and look at the rope and fear of shame that comes when you decide not to ctb. It is very frustrating experience even to stand there thinking about attempting. The flood of emotions, tears, guilt, racing mind.

I wish for the whole process to be as easy as starting life. Sex is so easy when you get to it. Why couldn't we make suicide easy.
I saw thread of user Goat when he ctb and It broke my heart. He used partial, in his house, having comfortable surroundings and watching his favorite movie. I know his life turned badly, but he tried to comfort himself before death. I would like to think that after death, his soul watched the movie till the end and than departed into eternal rest that it deserved.

That is the reason I want to make goodbye thread. So I do not feel alone. Being alone in the forest with rope is not pleasant, but living as me and in my head is even worse.
I wish all of the people who want to ctb could find just a bit of comfort in something. Something that would make it less anxious and stressful.

That's a very powerful thought, i am looking to go very soon. Relief and calm fills my mind when i think of a life in chaos, torment, and in turmoil. However the logistics and dealing with a society which is fine to try and shame and reduce people-who have the courage to deal with their issues directly-is exhausting and extremely stressful. It should not be this way.

If someone or something manages to comfort you before your attempt, you'll just back out of killing yourself. It has to hurt, it has to be horrible for a little while, there's no easy way out...

That's not necessarily true at all, i have read of more than a couple and personally know of one who was at least slightly relieved before going.

 

[fox_wannabe]

That's a very powerful thought, i am looking to go very soon. Relief and calm fills my mind when i think of a life in chaos, torment, and in turmoil. However the logistics and dealing with a society which is fine to try and shame and reduce people-who have the courage to deal with their issues directly-is exhausting and extremely stressful. It should not be this way.

Thanks. I wish we would be taken care of like dogs when they are put down. damn...

 

[haibiantou]

I understand how you're feeling, it can indeed be quite a lonely experience trying to ctb and I wish it could be different for those who don't want to be alone. Personally I'd love to ctb while in a hospital setting but that's tricky, from watchful eyes to the likelyhood of being saved. Not a problem I've found an easy solution to yet.

Goats goodbye thread was very touching and one I've looked back on a fair bit.

I hope you find a way to make your passing more comfortable if you do decide to take that path. Making a thread seems like a good start, maybe think of things you could bring along that give you a sense of comfort. A favourite poem? A sentimental item? Could even be as simple as waiting for favourable weather so you're not ctb while cold or rained on.

I'm new here... would you be able to share the link to that goodbye thread? I would love to read it. Thank you.

 

[AnonymousS]

Thanks. I wish we would be taken care of like dogs when they are put down. damn...

Exactly, with empathy and quality of life at the very heart. Yet for us absolutely not, let us suffer....

 

[motel rooms]

That's not necessarily true at all, i have read of more than a couple and personally know of one who was at least slightly relieved before going.

Probably because they were in agony.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Maybe briefly, before I allow myself to be eaten by that guy in the other thread. Or wait, he wanted someone to eat him? Now I'm confused.

 

[AnonymousS]

Probably because they were in agony.

No they weren't.

 

[motel rooms]

No they weren't.

You're free to believe whatever comforts you...

 

[AnonymousS]

You're free to believe whatever comforts you...

It's not a belief, is be if them i knew personally.

 

[motel rooms]

It's not a belief, is be if them i knew personally.

OK

 

[hopelessgirl]

We are here. I discovered this forum just a week ago, and I already feel less alone about it. I think a goodbye thread sounds like a good idea, even though I understand the other opinion about CBT could be easier when we feel at our most loneliest, most desperate, most painful moments. That's when I've felt the closest and attempting myself. But I don't know. Why not try a goodbye thread? It is a long process anyways. Couldn't hurt to try it. I would love to be able to get euthanasia in a calm safe environment where Im not alone and completely sure of my exit. Not sure if that's ever gonna happen though. So now Im opting for SN and tranquillisers, even though tranquillisers exactly make me feel a bit "too good" and "not caring enough about my suffering".

 

[motel rooms]

Maybe briefly, before I allow myself to be eaten by that guy in the other thread.

Duck meat is delicious

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I am going to TRY and make it comforting, but I doubt it will be. Am going to a spot right by the ocean that is infinitely special to me. Problem is, it's going to bring back memories that will devastate me....I am just hoping I don't give into the urge to say a final goodbye to a certain someone. That could very well compromise my plans.

 

[Starryeyes]

My dad was from London he used the phrase ' kick the bucket' when someone has died.

I don't want to be alone when passing but unfortunately don't have much choice

 

[ClownMe]

I get some comfort from the fact that after i ctb the pain will all be over.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I get some comfort from the fact that after i ctb the pain will all be over.

me too

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I get some comfort from the fact that after i ctb the pain will all be over.

Amen!
(Not that I am Religous or even Spiritual. I just like the heretical connotation implied by saying it in this situation.)

 

[SentientCreature]

I want to be comforted by the firm conviction that the choice I'm making is the most reasonable one given my circumstances. I want to have a moment of reflection without any external interference.

The moment when I do it will likely be at the point in my life where no person, thing or deliberate activity will be able to positively influence my state of mind.

Or perhaps I will have to use self-deception to some extent and consciously remove from my awareness anything that could make me question my decision. If that could even be called self-deception it would be the least harmful form of it I've ever indulged in.