Discussion Anybody else wanting to do something awesome before you ctb?

[AutreTemps]

Until i really started to think about suicide as a way to end my pain, i always idealised death saying that if i knew i was dying but had the ability to do it, i would use my last time doing great things that matter to me
So suicide totally works for it.
I'm thinking about doing something but also i feel so down now that i want to ctb, i don't really have energy to do so much cool things

Anybody already had a similar thought ? What are your ideas of great things you could do?

 

[weedoge]

Yes, I couldn't figure out what it was for a long time, but after a few days I'm now looking at a 20 page long suicide letter and I'm very satisfied.

 

[Fucking loving it]

I have no interest in anything anymore.

 

[fuckthis]

I can only fantasize now. The sooner I die the quicker I stop thinking of things I can never achieve or deserve.

 

[okyeah]

Nothing is awesome anymore in my life. I would love to do a lot of drugs but I have no social life.

 

[CJM]

Road trip through some crazy SE Asia country like Vietnam.

 

[DreamFreedom]

Yes, I couldn't figure out what it was for a long time, but after a few days I'm now looking at a 20 page long suicide letter and I'm very satisfied.

I did this too. I've completed 1 journal and have started a second. I began them 3 years ago and still have stuff to say.

 

[ctoan]

i want to have 5k likes on sanctionedsuicide


i know know i know



but as my dad always used to say...aim for the stars

 

[weedoge]

i want to have 5k likes on sanctionedsuicide


i know know i know



but as my dad always used to say...aim for the stars

Just curious mate are you trolling or just apathetic?

 

[Desperate_Soul]

i want to have 5k likes on sanctionedsuicide


i know know i know



but as my dad always used to say...aim for the stars

Lol, is that why you're posting so many new threads over on the offtopics?

 

[ctoan]

Just curious mate are you trolling or just apathetic?

im just disillusioned guy on his way to rock bottom

 

[fuckthis]

Nothing is awesome anymore in my life. I would love to do a lot of drugs but I have no social life.

This. I always thought I would go out on drugs but I don't even have any connections to get them lol

 

[weedoge]

This. I always thought I would go out on drugs but I don't even have any connections to get them lol

Learn to darknet, for the doses you'd need to get fucked up you'd pay nothing. Benzos are particularly cheap iirc.

 

[fuckthis]

Learn to darknet, for the doses you'd need to get fucked up you'd pay nothing. Benzos are particularly cheap iirc.

I've considered it. But I'd have to get a fake ID to open a P.O box. I live with my parents.

 

[weedoge]

I've considered it. But I'd have to get a fake ID to open a P.O box. I live with my parents.

Do they open your post? Packages look innocent as fuck

 

[fuckthis]

Do they open your post? Packages look innocent as fuck

There's a chance of it happening yea. I wouldn't risk it. I can also only get Monero or Bitcoin with PayPal but a lot of sellers on P2P sites usually require I.D if I want to buy it with PayPal, and the sellers that sell without proof of I.D sell at ridiculous rates. I've seriously considered it, especially if I could find a seller willing to dead drop but no one does that anymore.

Tbf I just ordered primperan to SN with from Greece. At least getting caught with that is not as bad as say cocaine for example lol. I ordered it without thinking. I just got annoyed with all the possible consequences and said fuck it.

 

[weedoge]

There's a chance of it happening yea. I wouldn't risk it. I can also only get Monero or Bitcoin with PayPal but a lot of sellers on P2P sites usually require I.D if I want to buy it with PayPal, and the sellers that sell without proof of I.D sell at ridiculous rates. I've seriously considered it, especially if I could find a seller willing to dead drop but no one does that anymore.

Tbf I just ordered primperan to SN with from Greece. At least getting caught with that is not as bad as say cocaine for example lol

You're right on it being hard to get affordable crypto without id... Anyway sounds like you've got a plan so good luck.

 

[fuckthis]

You're right on it being hard to get affordable crypto without id... Anyway sounds like you've got a plan so good luck.

Thank you.

 

[windingdown]

I feel I have done everything I want to do in life. Except visit the Isle of Skye. I don't have the money nor energy for that now, though.

On the home front, I wanted to finish my blog; I'm working on providing access to my dear belongings for my family; and I wanted to make chocolate chip pumpkin bread, based on the amazing recipe I developed last year.

Blog: check
Pumpkin bread: Here now, check, totally worth it
Belongings: in progress, waiting on others - one of the only 2 things left standing in the way.

EDIT: oh yeah ideally I'll have a bacon cheeseburger and fries too before I go.

How's that for epic?

 

[windingdown]

Tbf I just ordered primperan to SN with from Greece. At least getting caught with that is not as bad as say cocaine for example lol. I ordered it without thinking. I just got annoyed with all the possible consequences and said fuck it.

How are you feeling about using this method? Do you feel scared? Confident?

 

[bigj75]

Just simple pleasures for the day would be good enough for me. Play some football with the boys, have a few beers, chill with dog, have some sex, and good food. Don't care to do anything too crazy.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

No. I've done everything I wanted. Now I just do it over and it diminishes in value with each iteration.

The longer I stay, the lower the quality. Should have went out on top like John Elway.

 

[bigj75]

No. I've done everything I wanted. Now I just do it over and it diminishes in value with each iteration.

The longer I stay, the lower the quality. Should have went out on top like John Elway.

true

 

[windingdown]

No. I've done everything I wanted. Now I just do it over and it diminishes in value with each iteration.

The longer I stay, the lower the quality. Should have went out on top like John Elway.

Since last year, I think often of Groundhog Day. Another day! Empty like the last! Great, let's do it all over again.

Ctb feels like getting the F out of Groundhog Day.

 

[Maksimka Ai]

The last thing I would like to do is to spend the whole day with someone I care about, play with her children, read a book, cook dinner, and then CTB. But these are just dreams, I just want to die I no longer have the strength for anything, I am very tired

 

[tomz323]

Go traveling I guess, try find some reason to keep going

 

[elcade]

i wish i had the energy but the depression ruined everything..

 

[Soul]

I know someone who stopped on a highway overpass to help a stranger who was having car trouble. A third car knocked him over the barrier and he fell to the street below, where he was run over by a fourth car. Apart from the freakishness of the accident and the trauma to the other drivers, what a pure way to die! For me, to go out helping someone, or rescuing an animal, would be awesome.

 

[Painpleasure]

Yes, I couldn't figure out what it was for a long time, but after a few days I'm now looking at a 20 page long suicide letter and I'm very satisfied.

For some reason I find it very cathartic to read my suicide note when feeling down...

 

[Felicità]

Go traveling I guess, try find some reason to keep going

I did a backpack trip across Canada for this reason somehow eight years ago, after that i thought I found some reasons to go on, but I guess even reasons have expiration date. Though it was a great trip.