Anybody else here with depression,bipolar disorder or autism/aspergers?

[Brick In The Wall]

One or more of these conditions are almost a prerequisite to be here.

 

[Misery99]

I'm sorry that you're suffering :( i tried to help my mammy with her phone and daddy shouted at me so i went an slammed my door shut while crying and then mammy came and shouted at me too about the door slamming :( i feel really bad about everything and i want to talk to my friend but he don't wanna associate with me :( I'll probably die from a broken heart like dogs do too

Dying from a broken heart will be most likely be my cause of death too :( I'm sorry that your parents are cold hearted just like my parents. If I cry they never try to comfort me. Instead they just yell at me :(

 

[Simba]

Dying from a broken heart will be most likely be my cause of death too :( I'm sorry that your parents are cold hearted just like my parents. If I cry they never try to comfort me. Instead they just yell at me :(

I'm sorry to hear that @Misery99 :( my family isn't really bad they're ok just at times they can yell an shout n stuff :/ i have a scratching problem too ,probably skin picking disorder and mammy is always saying mind over matter and tells me that i gotta choose to stop scratching ... yeah well easier said than done :( I'll die eventually ,if not today i can guarantee you that someday im gonna die from all this mental pain of mine and from being missunderstood and being left while everyone keep going in life... Enjoying .. togetherness... Being happy... Falling in love.. sharing a deep bond... Making love and out of it a baby.... I'll never have anything like that going for me... It never mattered what i ever do ,the outcome will always be the same. I rather die already than to die some sad old an frail lady... :(

 

[Misery99]

I'm sorry to hear that @Misery99 :( my family isn't really bad they're ok just at times they can yell an shout n stuff :/ i have a scratching problem too ,probably skin picking disorder and mammy is always saying mind over matter and tells me that i gotta choose to stop scratching ... yeah well easier said than done :( I'll die eventually ,if not today i can guarantee you that someday im gonna die from all this mental pain of mine and from being missunderstood and being left while everyone keep going in life... Enjoying .. togetherness... Being happy... Falling in love.. sharing a deep bond... Making love and out of it a baby.... I'll never have anything like that going for me... It never mattered what i ever do ,the outcome will always be the same. I rather die already than to die some sad old an frail lady... :(

So sorry about your skin condition. :(
I'll never experience having a normal life either.I'll never experience making love,getting married,having kids, having a successful career etc. I watch social media accounts of my peers and see how they all have grown up.They have graduated,have boyfriends,gotten married,had babies etc while I still live like a child. :(

 

[Kruspe68]

I used to think that I had depression only but now I think that I might have bipolar disorder too because I have suicidal thoughts in my mind 24/7. I used to take the same antidepressants for years for my depression but it left me with a terrible physical side effect so I had to stop taking them some days ago. When I took them I felt a mental relief even though it was not permanent. Now I can't even have it. I also believe that I have autism or aspergers because I have all the characteristics of someone who have it.I have poor social skills and intense compassion,empathy and connection with animals more than humans. All these conditions makes my mind a living hell. I can't have peace in my mind. I suffer emotionally every second.

Hi MIsery99,
I have bipolar disorder and your connection with animals is simply because you know deep down they won't hurt you like people do. I am the same. If I see humans suffering on T.V. I feel nothing but with animals it is a whole different story. If I am sad I hug my dogs.
During lockdown my mental health has plummeted. I never realised how much work helped me manage my problems. Without it the anxiety and over- thinking that is happening to me is constant, my mind never rests and I too think of suicide everyday. I don't know how much longer I honestly can hang on.
I just wanted to reach out as someone that understands your pain.
Sending you a virtual hug x

 

[Simba]

So sorry about your skin condition. :(
I'll never experience having a normal life either.I'll never experience making love,getting married,having kids, having a successful career etc. I watch social media accounts of my peers and see how they all have grown up.They have graduated,have boyfriends,gotten married,had babies etc while I still live like a child. :(

Yeah.. everyone has their own life to care about... There is no room for a broken person :( no room at all ... I can't stop missing my friend :( Life is a lot shittier without people/ and or friends that understand what your going thru :( :(

 

[Misery99]

Hi MIsery99,
I have bipolar disorder and your connection with animals is simply because you know deep down they won't hurt you like people do. I am the same. If I see humans suffering on T.V. I feel nothing but with animals it is a whole different story. If I am sad I hug my dogs.
During lockdown my mental health has plummeted. I never realised how much work helped me manage my problems. Without it the anxiety and over- thinking that is happening to me is constant, my mind never rests and I too think of suicide everyday. I don't know how much longer I honestly can hang on.
I just wanted to reach out as someone that understands your pain.
Sending you a virtual hug x

Yes you are absolutely right about that. When I see humans suffering I don't feel like crying at all but it's totally different when I see animals getting abused or killed.I can cry my eyes out if I see a video of animal cruelty. I feel empathized for animals more because they are so innocent,kind and loyal to us unlike humans.

My mental health had always been very bad because I lived my whole life like I was living in lockdown. I never went out or got chance to enjoy life like other people so it was nothing new to me.My parents are at home everyday since lockdown so I can't even act on my suicidal plans.I just want them to leave me alone at home for a while.
Thanks for reaching out. Hugs to you too xo

Yeah.. everyone has their own life to care about... There is no room for a broken person :( no room at all ... I can't stop missing my friend :( Life is a lot shittier without people/ and or friends that understand what your going thru :( :(

I'm missing someone so badly too :( can't stop thinking about him. But I know I'm too weird for him. We can never be together. :(

 

[Simba]

I'm missing someone so badly too :( can't stop thinking about him. But I know I'm too weird for him. We can never be together. :(

im weird too :/ and may i ask if you don't mind why is it that you two can't be together ? :( Sorry that you are also missing someone im the same when a person leaves me - depending on how attached i got to that person , that's basically also the severity of the depression.. i don't know .. I'll be really depressed for probably a whole week or so.. doesn't matter anyways ,not like people would want to hear all this either way :/

 

[Baguette]

I have high functioning autism/aspergers. In my experience, autistic people are treated like total idiots by neurotypical people(even though I'm probably smarter than a good majority of these people). Life is tough enough even before you find out 80% of high functioning autistic people are unemployed, just 32% are in a relationship and we are much more likely to suffer from depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts with suicide the leading cause of death in high functioning autistic people.

Hardly anyone makes an effort to accommodate you because there's 'something wrong with you' and you're 'not normal'. Well f**k normal, it's society that has the problem. People are all too happy to let autistic people suffer in silence, putting us down and letting us sit at home on benefits because we don't even get the chance to do well in a career the majority of the time. I don't want to be another charity case living a sad lonely life anymore, maybe things will change one day for others like me but certainly not in the near future.

 

[Misery99]

im weird too :/ and may i ask if you don't mind why is it that you two can't be together ? :( Sorry that you are also missing someone im the same when a person leaves me - depending on how attached i got to that person , that's basically also the severity of the depression.. i don't know .. I'll be really depressed for probably a whole week or so.. doesn't matter anyways ,not like people would want to hear all this either way :/

We can't be together because he lives in another country and when he visited in the past to meet me my narcissistic mom didn't let me meet him in peace. He probably got tired of how hard it is to meet me and broke up with me now he doesn't even text me.

I have high functioning autism/aspergers. In my experience, autistic people are treated like total idiots by neurotypical people(even though I'm probably smarter than a good majority of these people). Life is tough enough even before you find out 80% of high functioning autistic people are unemployed, just 32% are in a relationship and we are much more likely to suffer from depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts with suicide the leading cause of death in high functioning autistic people.

Hardly anyone makes an effort to accommodate you because there's 'something wrong with you' and you're 'not normal'. Well f**k normal, it's society that has the problem. People are all too happy to let autistic people suffer in silence, putting us down and letting us sit at home on benefits because we don't even get the chance to do well in a career the majority of the time. I don't want to be another charity case living a sad lonely life anymore, maybe things will change one day for others like me but certainly not in the near future.

Yes society really treat us bad.Specially where I live. They don't even give autistic people or any people with mental or physical disabilities any benefits.Either you have to work or you starve. That's the rule here.

I can see why many of us autistic people want to commit suicide. It's hard living in a world where you don't belong.

 

[Simba]

I have high functioning autism/aspergers. In my experience, autistic people are treated like total idiots by neurotypical people(even though I'm probably smarter than a good majority of these people). Life is tough enough even before you find out 80% of high functioning autistic people are unemployed, just 32% are in a relationship and we are much more likely to suffer from depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts with suicide the leading cause of death in high functioning autistic people.

Hardly anyone makes an effort to accommodate you because there's 'something wrong with you' and you're 'not normal'. Well f**k normal, it's society that has the problem. People are all too happy to let autistic people suffer in silence, putting us down and letting us sit at home on benefits because we don't even get the chance to do well in a career the majority of the time. I don't want to be another charity case living a sad lonely life anymore, maybe things will change one day for others like me but certainly not in the near future.

Same. At work is hard.. it seems that there's always a problem with me.. i work as a cashier and the workers that are above me can sometimes be not nice at all.. I've also got chrones with autism depression and so on ,it takes me some time to poo than regular people and they don't really like that at all :/ sometimes I'd break down at work too but not as much now :( the workers that aren't above me aren't as bad ,they can be nice etc.. to be honest when i usetoo be in high school i was in special ed in a regular school but it didn't really work for me... I wanted friends and instead i got full SATs (not that it's bad ) and i had one good friend in my class but they took him away from me emotionally - saying to him basically that if i continue being like "that " aka depressed an so on then he won't be able to be around me so that sucked... More bad stuff happened to me by people with autism... Between them not wanting to hear about depression and suicide and so on to being mean and saying that im being manipulative and so on and even police threats which really upsets me :( i was told that i was harassing some girl i know sexualy and asked for pictures of her boobs which ain't true at all :( :( but it's all over now ... Except her ,she isn't as nice anymore to me... I have never felt more discrimination anywhere than with other people with autism (but not all are like that ) than neurotipycal people apparently.. :/. And to top off all of this ,my friend isn't talking to me no more so im really sad and depressed :(

We can't be together because he lives in another country and when he visited in the past to meet me my narcissistic mom didn't let me meet him in peace. He probably got tired of how hard it is to meet me and broke up with me now he doesn't even text me.

I can see why many of us autistic people want to commit suicide. It's hard living in a world where you don't belong.

Yes i don't think that i really belong here to be honest.. and I'm sorry for you and your friend it really sucks :( do you live in America or is it some country else were ? I live in Israel and they have it pretty much messed up ... Because i have autism AND depression you would think I'd get anything for mental health but nope ,i see a psychiatrist and psychology but im not eligible for any thing related to mental health be it friend clubs and so on.. they have autism put in one place is taking care of that and the ministry of health is one taking care of all mental health which I'm not in or probably not even allowed :(

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

I have depression. I also tried anti depressants but i got bad side effects that made me feel worse.

I can understand connecting more with animals than people as well. Always been like that.

Can't stand animal cruelty videos too. It makes my depression so much worse. I feel very helpless and useless.

 

[Hurtstomuch.]

I've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, PTSD and bpd. I feel so alone and scared and I'm just a mess. I just want this pain to stop now but every single day it gets worse