I have a small family so with me dying I don't how that dynamic would work with me gone or what would happen. Unrelated but I'll never forget this one guy I knew years ago who died in a car crash and then his mom died, then afterwards his dad died also, his sister was the only one left alive. I just feel like something similar will happen to my family if I kill myself, but quite honestly I'm starting to not give a damn anymore but that's a whole different story.
WAITING TO DIE
TORMENTED
- Sep 30, 2023
- 1,539
I think my ctb is actually expected to happen sometime in the back of my family's mind .
They know I've been mentally ill for a very long time now so I don't think it will come as a surprise.
We are not a close family and they are more like strangers these days.
I used to care about hurting them with my ctb, yet realise now that I cannot be expected to tolerate unbearable suffering anymore just for the sake of others.
They will be upset for a while and then move on.
I will be eventually forgotten about and that's perfectly fine by me.
They know I've been mentally ill for a very long time now so I don't think it will come as a surprise.
We are not a close family and they are more like strangers these days.
I used to care about hurting them with my ctb, yet realise now that I cannot be expected to tolerate unbearable suffering anymore just for the sake of others.
They will be upset for a while and then move on.
I will be eventually forgotten about and that's perfectly fine by me.
My death would not destroy my family. My parents are already dead. And my siblings are all happily married.
My death will be devastating for my children as we have an incredibly close relationship. Hence I am trying my best to stay alive for as long as possible.
Zora099
i am just waiting till i fall asleep
- Dec 3, 2023
- 10
Yes. I even talked about it with my sister. Not into detail, we just touched the subject. She pretty much asked why would I even want to do something like that, when my life is not that bad (she doesnt know a lot of important things that happened to me, but ill let that be). I answered that it doesn't matter, cause when someones head is fucked, its fucked. She started having tears in her eyes, her face got red and said: "But if you'll do something like that, it will destroy the whole family." This picture haunts me every day. I love my sister and I dont want to hurt her, but at the same time I know one day Ill do it.
I don't think it will destroy them, make them really sad for sure… But then they will move on. And on the long term they have less to worry about…
warm dreams
Member
- Nov 23, 2023
- 95
Damn... I imagined my little cousin crying... I sympathize with you that you saw this...
Nah, I'm not that important. They'll eventually find the ability to move on.
My Dad- yes- I think so- which is why I want to hold on for him to go first. Beyond that though, it's step relations and my extended family I haven't seen in decades. I'm hoping that distance will help. It's hard to know how it will affect people really but most of the ones who really cared about me are already dead.
That strongly depends on the family ties how much close relatives are affected by a death. I think if I CTBed that would certainly cause grief but probably wouldn't destroy the remaining family, However I'm pretty sure my mum wouldn't survive that.
melancholia_melodia
Member
- Nov 29, 2023
- 56
Something as trivial as me tripping over a tree branch and slightly injuring myself would drive my parents crazy... so i dont think they would be fine if i were to die or smth.
kettlevinbarq
I'm Tired
- Dec 12, 2023
- 100
I was worried because I know how much my mom loves me but I just cannot stay alive any longer. I just want it to end.
Mea Culpa
Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa, Kyrie Eleison
- Sep 22, 2023
- 173
My blood relatives? They abandoned me long ago, they would give less of a shit. My small family of my best friend and boyfriend? That.. that probably would affect them badly... but I just dont wanna jeep suffering anymore. I try to think to myself that theyll forget about me eventually. Everything is always forgotten to time.
It will turn m'y parents into ashes , and ruin m'y sister's life too, but i still need and should ctb , i'm a total failure .
We aren't that close anymore and we barely talk. They'll probably be sad for little while but they'll get over it.
nembutal
everything will be okay in the end
- Jul 14, 2022
- 334
my friends parents (he is an addict) once told him they wish he could die so they would cry once and be done with it instead of crying for him over and over. its a rational concept. why continually cause them to have hope for your recovery followed by painful disappointment if you can go away and finally give them some peace.
penguinl0v3s
Wait for Me 💙
- Nov 1, 2023
- 798
Yeah they'll be disappointed and ashamed of me. Their problem honestly. They did 0 shit to help me whatsoever.
hellispink
poisonous
- May 26, 2022
- 1,231
I am not important at all. I dont consider myself important enough for them to care not even a bit about my death. People follow and keep on with their lives. They grieve yeah but they also replace and forget usually very quickly. Its just how humans work. Putting everyone else first rather than your needs its not the way. I doubt they would do the same for you if they were in the same body position thoughts you are having. Everyone is responsible for their own lives. We cant be responsible for wheter somebody will be happy or unhappy or whatever because of things we do. We only choose about our own lives nothing else
lostinmythoughts
Student
- Nov 30, 2023
- 112
I honestly think my parents and siblings will be happier, yes sad at first for sure after all I'm someone they knew, but they gonna be happier after a couple of days! I do create drama and have nasty attitude so life will be better without my negatives.
SparkleWater
Member
- Oct 13, 2020
- 75
i am the only reason my parents are still togeather. If i die i dont think they could make the marrige work.
like-spoiledmilk
Member
- Jul 10, 2023
- 35
They'll be alright in the end, I think.
Truthfully, I severely distanced myself from everyone a few months ago to help with the transition. I doubt they'll even know for a long while.
Truthfully, I severely distanced myself from everyone a few months ago to help with the transition. I doubt they'll even know for a long while.
annointed_towers
Cursed by God
- Dec 9, 2022
- 315
Leavesfromthevine
Untreated Trauma
- Nov 23, 2023
- 339
Kinda but not really. They're always looking for a reason to fight and blame each other so it'll be a bunch of them blaming each other for causing me to ctb. Reality is not one person can be blamed for this choice.
I don't care about what happens with my family anymore. I've been told I'm better off dead by them anyway so I suppose they'll get that soon. Maybe in another life I can have a loving family, maybe that would've helped me.
I don't care about what happens with my family anymore. I've been told I'm better off dead by them anyway so I suppose they'll get that soon. Maybe in another life I can have a loving family, maybe that would've helped me.
MatrixPrisoner
Enlightened
- Jul 8, 2023
- 1,628
That is probably the main thing that will always ensure that there is a solid line in the sand between people that are mentally sound and those that are looking to catch the bus. They will never understand that we're sick irrespective how our life situation is. There are rich and famous people that have everything in life that kill themselves, as well as homeless rock bottom people that would never even fathom it. If suicidailty was solely dependent on life situation, I imagine 99% of people in prison with life sentences would kill themselves immediately. But I don't care at this point. I've been sacrifcing so much. If they are destroyed by the fact that they were selfish and took me for granted while I was still alive, then so be it.
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lostforever77
Student
- Dec 13, 2023
- 100
Nope my family would not miss me for a second. Either they are dead or about ready to leave me. I could just imagine my wife getting only upset if one of the kids did manager to shed a tear. How dare I upset them in my death. *sigh*
Abyssal
Probably gonna die soon maybe?
- Nov 26, 2023
- 1,331
Probably for a while, but I have faith that everything will be okay and that they will learn to cope. I trust them.
neonzebra
Member
- Sep 11, 2022
- 68
My siblings would be upset, for sure.
My mum is already dead and my father is estranged and I barely know him so I don't care how he feels particularly.
I would be worried that my brother's sadness would impact the upbringing of my two nephews. I wish there was some way to stop that from happening so I could die without guilt.
My mum is already dead and my father is estranged and I barely know him so I don't care how he feels particularly.
I would be worried that my brother's sadness would impact the upbringing of my two nephews. I wish there was some way to stop that from happening so I could die without guilt.
TorturedEnough
I'm exhausted trying to be stronger than I feel.
- Dec 2, 2023
- 22
My father will be relieved that I died. I've always been a burden to him since I was born
. The only person I would hate to hurt is my mom. Unfortunately I have no choice but to escape this torment. 
. The only person I would hate to hurt is my mom. Unfortunately I have no choice but to escape this torment. No. My parents hate me and everyone else in my family. They never understood me and I've always been a burden to them.
