Any life advice?

[protocoltwentytwo]

22, live in Syria, no job, no friends, flunked two years straight. My dad works all day at his shop, he fired me for mouthing off once and now my sister helps him, she also cooks and cleans, and finished college. I spend all day in my room, I only leave to get groceries. I have been living like this for what feels like a year or two. No prospect of a job, future which I can survive without begging. God I want to ctb so bad, I really just want it to stop but I don't even have the courage to take action with my own hands. What kind of torture am I feeling. It feels like nothing can solve this other than crushing myself

 

[heydude56]

Is both nitrogen and SN illegal in Syria?

 

[MyShadow]

22, live in Syria, no job, no friends, flunked two years straight. My dad works all day at his shop, he fired me for mouthing off once and now my sister helps him, she also cooks and cleans, and finished college. I spend all day in my room, I only leave to get groceries. I have been living like this for what feels like a year or two. No prospect of a job, future which I can survive without begging. God I want to ctb so bad, I really just want it to stop but I don't even have the courage to take action with my own hands. What kind of torture am I feeling. It feels like nothing can solve this other than crushing myself

Can you make amends with your Dad and go back to working with him in his shop?
Can you give university another chance?

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Can you make amends with your Dad and go back to working with him in his shop?
Can you give university another chance

He doesn't want me back because he views it as a way for me to become independent, he wants me to be able to support myself, he made that clear.
Yes, I'm not a complete academic screw up, I've been hung up on only two subjects in the past 2 years, I failed one 7 times and the other 5 times, and I have never failed any other subject twice. Idk what the professors want from me, no matter how hard I try I always fall a couple of grades short. I feel helpless

 

[MyShadow]

He doesn't want me back because he views it as a way for me to become independent, he wants me to be able to support myself, he made that clear.
Yes, I'm not a complete academic screw up, I've been hung up on only two subjects in the past 2 years, I failed one 7 times and the other 5 times, and I have never failed any other subject twice. Idk what the professors want from me, no matter how hard I try I always fall a couple of grades short. I feel helpless

What are your other options for work and university?

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Is both nitrogen and SN illegal in Syria?

Probably not, as we don't have regulations here, I just don't know how to obtain them or the prescription drug to not puke

What are your other options for work and university?

I Didn't jump a couple of days ago because I got an offer to teach two kids of my relative, which I thought of as a lifeline, the thing is I don't know how to teach, so I'm also scared because if they don't see results they'll fire me. It has bought me time but not a solution. As for university, I have no idea, I'm so desperate that I'm applying to Christian programs to study Christianity abroad, and monasteries to become a monk and work for free in a church to convert. Even though I don't want that as my life, it could be a lifeline if it works

 

[MyShadow]

I Didn't jump a couple of days ago because I got an offer to teach two kids of my relative, which I thought of as a lifeline, the thing is I don't know how to teach, so I'm also scared because if they don't see results they'll fire me. It has bought me time but not a solution.

Give it a chance. Who knows? Maybe you're a natural teacher.

As for university, I have no idea, I'm so desperate that I'm applying to Christian programs to study Christianity abroad, and monasteries to become a monk and work for free in a church to convert. Even though I don't want that as my life, it could be a lifeline if it works

Becoming a monk and sacrificing everyday life does not sound like a viable option.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Give it a chance. Who knows? Maybe you're a natural teacher.

Becoming a monk and sacrificing everyday life does not sound like a viable option.

I will, I said I didn't jump to try.

Who knows? Maybe I'm a natural monk