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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I've always felt different, not really able to put my finger on it, but I've always cared about living things: people, bugs, animals. You would be hard pressed to find me not picking up spiders & moving them outside, or avoiding worms on the street after the rain bc their lives were important too.

As I got older, towards people I started to feel like John Coffee from the Green Mile. Felt like I could help people come to terms with things that were bothering them & metaphorically carry their problems so they wouldn't have to- or at the very least, help them not to feel so alone.

Now, I can't take it anymore. Talking with others is now draining instead of fulfilling.

The other day, I had the opportunity IRL to save someone who was showing signs of wanting to CTB, every fiber of my being was screaming, "what are you waiting for, do something." & I couldn't move. I myself am planning on CTB, how can I stop someone else.

In the end, after grappling with the idea for a few minutes, I spoke with them. They felt alone & abandoned/shunned by their family, friends & a recent opportunity that could have turned their life around fell through- they were devastated. Immediately breaking down but quickly regaining composure, a switch turned in them & their mindset changed.

Two weeks later, the opportunity came to fruition & they've begun the journey to get back what they lost.

——————​

Anyone else experience something similar to this?
 
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awfullife

awfullife

Arcanist
Nov 16, 2019
435
Yes. Being an empath is a blessing and a curse. It helped me tremendously in my sales career, but now that things have gone from bad to worse it is a heavy burden being a sponge for other people's negative energy. I must enjoy it or why else would I be on here?
 
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
I'm an empath as well. It does have positive aspects, but over all I see it as a negative considering what the world is like. If I had a loving supportive upbringing I could have used this gift to help others in so many ways, but that was not in the cards.

I did therapeutic massage and body work for years, and I was good at it. I knew what would help people, and my energy helped them relax and feel safe with structural work. I loved the concept of it, and watching people heal over time. It was amazing work, but it was so draining because it was hard to not take on other people's emotional stuff.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
Yes. Being an empath is a blessing and a curse. It helped me tremendously in my sales career, but now that things have gone from bad to worse it is a heavy burden being a sponge for other people's negative energy. I must enjoy it or why else would I be on here?

I definitely agree- it's a burden being an emotional sponge. It feels like the worst kind of blessing, as far as blessings go. I mean it can help so many, but why does it have to hurt so much?

I'm an empath as well. It does have positive aspects, but over all I see it as a negative considering what the world is like. If I had a loving supportive upbringing I could have used this gift to help others in so many ways, but that was not in the cards.

I did therapeutic massage and body work for years, and I was good at it. I knew what would help people, and my energy helped them relax and feel safe with structural work. I loved the concept of it, and watching people heal over time. It was amazing work, but it was so draining because it was hard to not take on other people's emotional stuff.

Mhmm, I agree- it carries with it a lot of emotional baggage. May I ask, what would your career path have been under different circumstances?

& Yes, that's it. Watching them heal overtime, I suppose that's our "compensation," so to speak, for the support we offer.
 
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
Mhmm, I agree- it carries with it a lot of emotional baggage. May I ask, what would your career path have been under different circumstances?

& Yes, that's it. Watching them heal overtime, I suppose that's our "compensation," so to speak, for the support we offer.
I would have like to get into psychology. Child psychology would be a good fit as well.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I would have like to get into psychology. Child psychology would be a good fit as well.

You know what? Me too. :)

I wonder if that is a common field choice for empathetic people.

I didn't think as far a child psychology, though I knew with certainty that I wanted to help people.
 
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
You know what? Me too. :)

I wonder if that is a common field choice for empathetic people.

I didn't think as far a child psychology, though I knew with certainty that I wanted to help people.
For sure psych is great line of work for empaths. People with emotional or mental health issues need people that actually care and understand them.
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
I can have too much empathy for everything, inanimate stuff as well as living things. People tell me I'm anthropomorphising, but its not something I can stop. I can be very sensitive, so for example I sometimes have to take staples out of pieces of paper and things like that because I feel it hurts. Makes life pretty difficult.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I can have too much empathy for everything, inanimate stuff as well as living things. People tell me I'm anthropomorphising, but its not something I can stop. I can be very sensitive, so for example I sometimes have to take staples out of pieces of paper and things like that because I feel it hurts. Makes life pretty difficult.
Me too, & I don't see anything wrong with it! It's part of who you are, so what if people don't understand, you're not hurting anyone. I anthropomorphize as well.

—hugs—
 
signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
Me too, & I don't see anything wrong with it! It's part of who you are, so what if people don't understand, you're not hurting anyone. I anthropomorphize as well.

—hugs—
It is very difficult when you end up minimising yourself and your life in order to try and minimise the harm you feel you're doing to all the things around you all the time.

I find it difficult doing everyday stuff - sitting in chairs, using cutlery, wearing shoes, owning anything, doing anything. And all the things people take for granted as normal are like acts of abuse and torture to the part of me that feels all this. Everything is so highly sensitised.

If I let myself really feel it, it would be truly overwhelming. Its no wonder I want to quit living around other people, sometimes quit living at all.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
It is very difficult when you end up minimising yourself and your life in order to try and minimise the harm you feel you're doing to all the things around you all the time.

I find it difficult doing everyday stuff - sitting in chairs, using cutlery, wearing shoes, owning anything, doing anything. And all the things people take for granted as normal are like acts of abuse and torture to the part of me that feels all this. Everything is so highly sensitised.

If I let myself really feel it, it would be truly overwhelming. Its no wonder I want to quit living around other people, sometimes quit living at all.
Mhmm, yes, I agree- to avoid negatively impacting others is a taxing endeavour. I don't know how you've managed with your level of sensitivity, as it does differ from my own. It sounds like what you experience can be quite intense.

I know for myself, that I've lost my way, so to speak, as an empathetic person. What used to flood my senses, now feels like the drop in a river that's ceased to flow. Stagnant, I'm of no use to anyone. This feeling is why I stopped taking antidepressants, they clouded my ability to feel & to feel real. Who am I without the full spectrum of emotion?
 
J

justsad&done

Visionary
Nov 11, 2020
2,804
I have always been very empathetic as well. And as much as I have always liked helping people and listening to others, sometimes it can be emotionally draining. I work with children and I do think it has helped me be understanding towards them.
I look at some people that seem to have an inability to empathize, or sympathize with others and I just don't get it.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I have always been very empathetic as well. And as much as I have always liked helping people and listening to others, sometimes it can be emotionally draining. I work with children and I do think it has helped me be understanding towards them.
I look at some people that seem to have an inability to empathize, or sympathize with others and I just don't get it.
Mhmm. I definitely agree with you, people who can't empathize are mysteries to me, I wonder if it's by nature or nurture.

Do you enjoy working with children?
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,626
Idk I have the feeling that it would be arrogant to say that I'm an empath.
I'm very sensitive and very rational at the same time.

Do you think about people who work in slaughters OP?
I often see people saying they love animals here.
 
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J

justsad&done

Visionary
Nov 11, 2020
2,804
I used to love working with children. And I still appreciate their innocence and simple way of viewing the world around them. Unfortunately, I don't find joy in much these days - even things that I really used to love.
One nice thing about working with little children is that they really need you and so it can help keep my mind occupied. Also children's books and music are sweet and fun in a world in which not much else has those qualities.
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
I used to be really empathetic, especially when I was a teacher, but I'd say that now I care more about animals than most humans.
I mean, we're such an evil species!
 
J

justsad&done

Visionary
Nov 11, 2020
2,804
Mhmm. I definitely agree with you, people who can't empathize are mysteries to me, I wonder if it's by nature or nurture.

Do you enjoy working with children?
I think it's probably nature and nurture.
The people I have known well in my life that can't empathize also seem to only care for or look out for themselves.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
Idk I have the feeling that it would be arrogant to say that I'm an empath.
I'm very sensitive and very rational at the same time.

Do you think about people who work in slaughters OP?
I often see people saying they love animals here.

Arrogant? Why's that?

Not often, no. I can't be empathetic about all things at all times, that unrealistic.

I think it's probably nature and nurture.
The people I have known well in my life that can't empathize also seem to only care for or look out for themselves.

Hmm, maybe the difference comes down to individual personality then. It's hard to say what would have the ability make someone objectively self-centred or self-involved.
 
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J

justsad&done

Visionary
Nov 11, 2020
2,804
I used to love working with children. And I still appreciate their innocence and simple way of viewing the world around them. Unfortunately, I don't find joy in much these days - even things that I really used to love.
One nice thing about working with little children is that they really need you and so it can help keep my mind occupied. Also children's books and music are sweet and fun in a world in which not much else has those qualities.
@UnaccompaniedJourney Have you ever worked with children?
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I used to love working with children. And I still appreciate their innocence and simple way of viewing the world around them. Unfortunately, I don't find joy in much these days - even things that I really used to love.
One nice thing about working with little children is that they really need you and so it can help keep my mind occupied. Also children's books and music are sweet and fun in a world in which not much else has those qualities.

Whoops, missed this one.

Aww, that's sad, it's hurts losing the things that bring us joy. Though it's nice to hear you still appreciate their innocence. :)

@UnaccompaniedJourney Have you ever worked with children?

I've never worked with children, it wasn't something that came naturally to me. I find I fit better working with teens.

I used to be really empathetic, especially when I was a teacher, but I'd say that now I care more about animals than most humans.
I mean, we're such an evil species!

It's funny that we'll lose our desire to care for human, & still retain our love of animals. I wonder why that is.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
18,423
I think I used to be empathetic though the events which caused me to become unempathetic are relatively minor to some people even though I was severely affected by them. Maybe that was always actually narcissism and never true empathy.

I think nowadays I'm mostly only empathetic towards people and actions that I can relate to myself which usually means I can only empathize towards terrible people and actions. I cling most to stories of evil people being redeemed and becoming accepted because I know that acceptance sure isn't going to come from within.

Lot of people who know me say I'm empathetic even to good people but that's really only on a surface level. I can forgive almost any number of horrible misdeeds or sins to an extent but usually only when they don't personally affect me though if I can understand why they did it I still can find ways to empathize sometimes for some stupid reason. I don't know. Maybe I just hate myself so much that it becomes so much easier to forgive others for literally anything. If that's true though then I have to face the fact that the moment I start forgiving myself is guaranteed to be the moment I transform into becoming fully evil by prioritizing my own selfish needs.
 
NightmareTour

NightmareTour

Specialist
May 13, 2020
398
I probably USED to be considered an empath, but the last person I tried to help stripped away whatever strength I had to help people and whatever part of me used to care as much as I did. I still care, but I can't connect with anyone or anything like I used to. A lot of the time I see someone I feel like I should help, I have to turn away because I don't have the energy to do it.
 
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MindFrog

MindFrog

:Professional Hypocrite:
Nov 19, 2020
721
I'm not sure if I'm empathetic or I'm just really emotional. I cry over things so easily. I've always care much for people especially when I get attached to them. So it really hurts when I see them cry too. I try to comfort people as much as I can but It never comes out great cause I can't communicate properly. It makes me feel a bit helpless.

So i'm just here, caring from a far lol.
 
sufferingalways

sufferingalways

Avoiding flashing images, epilepsy.
Apr 26, 2020
550
Mhmm, yes, I agree- to avoid negatively impacting others is a taxing endeavour. I don't know how you've managed with your level of sensitivity, as it does differ from my own. It sounds like what you experience can be quite intense.

I know for myself, that I've lost my way, so to speak, as an empathetic person. What used to flood my senses, now feels like the drop in a river that's ceased to flow. Stagnant, I'm of no use to anyone. This feeling is why I stopped taking antidepressants, they clouded my ability to feel & to feel real.

Who am I without the full spectrum of emotion?
I agree with your last sentence
I feel exactly like that.
I'm not sure if I'm empathetic or I'm just really emotional. I cry over things so easily. I've always care much for people especially when I get attached to them. So it really hurts when I see them cry too. I try to comfort people as much as I can but It never comes out great cause I can't communicate properly. It makes me feel a bit helpless.

So i'm just here, caring from a far lol.
Hi I'm sending you hugs xx
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I think I used to be empathetic though the events which caused me to become unempathetic are relatively minor to some people even though I was severely affected by them. Maybe that was always actually narcissism and never true empathy.

I think nowadays I'm mostly only empathetic towards people and actions that I can relate to myself which usually means I can only empathize towards terrible people and actions. I cling most to stories of evil people being redeemed and becoming accepted because I know that acceptance sure isn't going to come from within.

Lot of people who know me say I'm empathetic even to good people but that's really only on a surface level. I can forgive almost any number of horrible misdeeds or sins to an extent but usually only when they don't personally affect me though if I can understand why they did it I still can find ways to empathize sometimes for some stupid reason. I don't know. Maybe I just hate myself so much that it becomes so much easier to forgive others for literally anything. If that's true though then I have to face the fact that the moment I start forgiving myself is guaranteed to be the moment I transform into becoming fully evil by prioritizing my own selfish needs.
Thanks for sharing. & you know, I don't necessarily agree.

Not to discredit what you're saying, because they're you're experiences, though it sounds to me- based on your words, that you are empathetic just... "lost." In couldn't think of a better word, but I mean, you sound like you are/were & through life events caused you to became blocked/jaded.

Self-hate is a powerful motivator in many cases, though its ability to demotivate can certain alter how we see ourselves & our belief in our abilities .

—hugs—
I probably USED to be considered an empath, but the last person I tried to help stripped away whatever strength I had to help people and whatever part of me used to care as much as I did. I still care, but I can't connect with anyone or anything like I used to. A lot of the time I see someone I feel like I should help, I have to turn away because I don't have the energy to do it.
Sorry to hear that you've lost the desire to care, I feel this on a personal level too. It's unfortunate when an empath loses the desire/energy to help others.

—hugs—
I'm not sure if I'm empathetic or I'm just really emotional. I cry over things so easily. I've always care much for people especially when I get attached to them. So it really hurts when I see them cry too. I try to comfort people as much as I can but It never comes out great cause I can't communicate properly. It makes me feel a bit helpless.

So i'm just here, caring from a far lol.
Thanks for sharing. & while I can't say for sure if you are or not, I feel like empaths coming in all shapes & sizes, from all walk of life. There may not be cookie cutter criteria to what constitutes an empath, so you very well could be. (I struggle to find the right words too :])
—hugs—
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
18,423
Thanks for sharing. & you know, I don't necessarily agree.

Not to discredit what you're saying, because they're you're experiences, though it sounds to me- based on your words, that you are empathetic just... "lost." In couldn't think of a better word, but I mean, you sound like you are/were & through life events caused you to became blocked/jaded.

Self-hate is a powerful motivator in many cases, though its ability to demotivate can certain alter how we see ourselves & our belief in our abilities .
Lost is a good way to describe it, yeah. Thanks for showing me that. I still think it's weird that I do empathize more with evil people and actions than anything else though...
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
Lost is a good way to describe it, yeah. Thanks for showing me that. I still think it's weird that I do empathize more with evil people and actions than anything else though...

Oh, you're welcome. :)

& perhaps it's a case that it's easier to empathize with them because you have more experience dealing with people of that nature? A sort of, understanding of what elements happen in a person's life to bring them to that point.
 
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,136
I think yea, even when I'm extremely anhedonic I feel I have more emotions and caring than some non-anhedonic people which many of them hurt each other. I care about others and animals and even inanimate stuff or fictional characters.

I can think about other people's perspectives. Its not only about emotions but logic.

I don't think it's a bad thing because it exposed how life is bad and I understand the suffering of others. I suffer more because of that but I don't mind it.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
18,423
Oh, you're welcome. :)

& perhaps it's a case that it's easier to empathize with them because you have more experience dealing with people of that nature? A sort of, understanding of what elements happen in a person's life to bring them to that point.
Maybe, but it just gets me into trouble more often than not.
 
NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I think yea, even when I'm extremely anhedonic I feel I have more emotions and caring than some non-anhedonic people which many of them hurt each other. I care about others and animals and even inanimate stuff or fictional characters.

I can think about other people's perspectives. Its not only about emotions but logic.

I don't think it's a bad thing because it exposed how life is bad and I understand the suffering of others. I suffer more because of that but I don't mind it.
Well said.
Maybe, but it just gets me into trouble more often than not.
Well that's unfortunate, people often don't consider the benefits of seeing both sides.
 
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