Venting Any 20yo+ virgins?

[WhatPowerIs]

24 year old virgin here. I mean technically not a virgin because I did have sex with escorts a few times but haven't had a relationship or anyone like me.

I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn't. You will see your friends getting married on social media and it will devastate you.

Who knows what problems marriage can bring on them later on down the line? I read all these stories about messy divorces and who gets custody of the child and yadda yadda and then I suddenly learn to appreciate my solitude. I hope there will come a day when I can learn to accept it, and like it, completely.

 

[The Abyss]

The main issue with the whole virginity past a certain age thing as I see it is:

Missing out on intimacy & relationships.
This "dirty" secret that must be hidden as if it comes out you're a freak.

Most assume it's the sex thing but it's actually more of a psychological hurdle that hasn't been overcome.

Sex, relationships & having kids are seen as things that happen to everyone so if it doesn't & others know then you're now lower in station & clearly lower than human or some bullshit.

 

[SuicidalSheep]

I'm 25. I will likely die a kissless dateless, relationshipless virgin. I also have pssd and due to it can't feel orgasms and anymore and don't feel all that much in my genitals and feel more emotionally numb than I used to despite still having a significant libido, so it's basically already too late for me. I've been robbed of these experiences I wanted more than the people around me ever did. And then they had the audacity to claim that it doesn't matter and that I should "focus on myself". I never got to know love except for the love my mom gave me. At least I have had that kind of love. Lotta people have shitty parents.

 

[Werewolf.]

Aren't you already a werewolf?

A lone werewolf!

I kissed a girl ....... Well..... When I was in kindergarten.... Right on the smacker..... I think it was one of those truth/dare games... Just gotta do the truth/dare game again...

I would have said I'm jealous, but being jealous of a kindergarten kiss is kind of... weird, considering my age now. Maybe when someone invents a time machine and I can be a little kiddo again. Then sure. Haha.

 

[GasMonkey]

I'm a 38yo KHHV, it's the entire reason why I'm gonna CTB.
If I could turn myself into a young chad I woudn't CTB at all.
Natural Selection at its finest.

 

[pinnsvin]

Hey, 24 yo virgin here, but its because I'm aroace, I'm not exactly interested in relationships nor sex.

 

[hopeless302]

Yup. Still a virgin and pretty much given up on ever finding love :')

 

[Hollowillow]

Just wanted to ask in order to see if I'm not alone. I never had a gf and I'm still a virgin while being 19. I hate being shamed on and I'm just frustrated that people around me get ONS/FWB and meanwhile I can't even get a hug.

42 virgin. In your face the assholes who tried to rape me! Too bad the trauma made me unable to have relationships. They only wanted to fuck anyway.

 

[Anonperson1]

Meh, I lost mine at 21 to someone out of pure frustration, I regret that in a way as a few months later I met someone who I fell for, and would have loved to be my first. ONS/FWB becomes very unsatisfying after some time. I've hit a body count in the triple digits and don't feel much better from it, only a handful being not great looking, the rest being at least 8+.
Don't beat yourself up about it, sex isn't the end all and be all, nor the end goal in a relationship; it's an hour of comfort then feeling empty after the excitement wears off.
If you're really desperate, go see a hooker if it means that much to you.
Oh, if you're taking SSRI's good luck having an orgasm, my ex used to love that I could last for hours, but it didn't do much for me...

 

[2dietmrow]

I'm 25. I will likely die a kissless dateless, relationshipless virgin. I also have pssd and due to it can't feel orgasms and anymore and don't feel all that much in my genitals and feel more emotionally numb than I used to despite still having a significant libido, so it's basically already too late for me. I've been robbed of these experiences I wanted more than the people around me ever did. And then they had the audacity to claim that it doesn't matter and that I should "focus on myself". I never got to know love except for the love my mom gave me. At least I have had that kind of love. Lotta people have shitty parents.

Hits deep

 

[Maudlin]

Virginity in a woman is a treasure to any man with sense.

A friend of mine passed on a few months ago. He was in his mid 80's, and had never been with a woman. He never found "the right one" for him. He had quite a social life, though- seriously, to know him was to love him. He accumulated land, equipment, a comfortable home and the ability to give selflessly to those he deemed worthy, and he made quite a name for himself in a small town not far from where I live.

He was the "first job" for countless teens and unwed mothers, a great conversationalist, a good card player. The world is worse for his passing. He told me once that he appreciated women as much as I do, but the few he considered in his life either became too greedy or had other habits that never sat well with him.

We all walk our own path.

 

[Seiko]

Yeah. The worst part is I've been asked out before and turned them down. Now I'm 20 and get none.

 

[2dietmrow]

The escort advice is really sad to me. I just don't understand what compels people to say it. Are virgins really that far gone that they can't make a genuine human connection to the point where they have to pay for one instead?

Its harder for some to achieve it the regular way

Virginity in a woman is a treasure to any man with sense.

A friend of mine passed on a few months ago. He was in his mid 80's, and had never been with a woman. He never found "the right one" for him. He had quite a social life, though- seriously, to know him was to love him. He accumulated land, equipment, a comfortable home and the ability to give selflessly to those he deemed worthy, and he made quite a name for himself in a small town not far from where I live.

He was the "first job" for countless teens and unwed mothers, a great conversationalist, a good card player. The world is worse for his passing. He told me once that he appreciated women as much as I do, but the few he considered in his life either became too greedy or had other habits that never sat well with him.

We all walk our own path.

Wow mid 80s much respect. I sometimes struggle without it even though i know it has no bearing on my worth

I'm almost 40 and have only fucked with hookers. Do I count?

No

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yep. 42 and never had a relationship. Once got kissed by some really drunk guy. Wasn't exactly great but don't entirely regret it either. Sometimes I'm really sad about it but I'm not interested in casual sex. I would want it to be meaningful. I'd much rather abstain than have my heart broken or be in some toxic situation.

Even thinking about the people I've had crazy, intense crushes on- I'm sure none of them would have worked out even if there was a chance.

Feel like I've reached the point where (mercifully) I don't drag myself through all that longing (I've gone through 3 rounds of limerance). Plus, I have a good imagination. I can have plenty of fun on my own- without the risk of STD's, getting pregnant, or getting my heart broken.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

turning 24 soon, aside from one, maybe two near opportunities, i have zero sexual experience

people who have it/have gotten it easily throughout their lives will say it doesnt matter since they dont know what its like to not have it (like someone who's always had money for example) but it does matter. its been proven to have a big impact on mental health. beyond the physical act itself, it gives a certain type of validation which keeps you from feeling like a disgusting worthless freak. and of course theres also having a relationship, and the intimacy/love involved to keep you happy or at least sane. but i guess im just that fucking unlovable and repulsive that i deserve to die not just miserable but also a virgin whos never been in a relationship looool life is shit

the fact getting laid or getting in a relationship for some people is like taking a shit while its a dream for others, i completely understand why people in my shoes feel bitter and defeated. and the thing is, the gap between the successful and unsuccessful people, in terms of things people stress matter the most (being funny, confident, a good person) isnt as huge as you think it would be. i've been called funny by lots of people, doesnt matter, still cant attract women. other guys dont have to tell a single joke, they've always got girls after them. the biggest gap is usually in superficial shit. not that confidence and whatnot dont matter, but being attractive and having status will always matter the most. and if anyone is getting particular "bad vibes" from this post, idc, its the truth.

Meh, I lost mine at 21 to someone out of pure frustration, I regret that in a way as a few months later I met someone who I fell for, and would have loved to be my first. ONS/FWB becomes very unsatisfying after some time. I've hit a body count in the triple digits and don't feel much better from it, only a handful being not great looking, the rest being at least 8+.
Don't beat yourself up about it, sex isn't the end all and be all, nor the end goal in a relationship; it's an hour of comfort then feeling empty after the excitement wears off.
If you're really desperate, go see a hooker if it means that much to you.
Oh, if you're taking SSRI's good luck having an orgasm, my ex used to love that I could last for hours, but it didn't do much for me...

im a little confused how you said sex isnt too important, yet you also chose to do it with over 100 people (and btw, being unable to get intimacy/relationships is the bigger struggle for many i'd say which goes hand in hand with being unable to get sex). and were you unable to get it until 21, then somehow found some inner potential that allowed you to get over a HUNDRED people to do it with you? thats an insane number, i cant wrap my head around how you went from being desperate as late as 21 to being able to rack up a count that high. unless you always had options and just put it off late.

 

[JamesUK]

It's really not a big deal to be a virgin at 20. Your brain is still developing, you're still figuring out the world and your life.

The consensus seems to be that it only becomes an issue beyond the age of 25, in the sense that a lot of 25/26 year old virgins then remain so for eternity.

 

[BeachyHeadLastOfUs]

Yes I'm a 30 year old kissless virgin who has never touched a woman. I have asked women out but always get rejected. It's the main reason I'm going to CTB.

 

[poa.alpina]

Yeah, it's actually my goal to never ever be in any relationship. 23, kissless, hugless, but also just strongly repulsed by this entire ordeal

 

[johnwhile]

I'm 40 HKV, male, not ugly but not enough beautiful, no woman has ever shown interest, I was bullied until I was 20 so i zero self-esteem (because I was a nerd)
I have a normal life, a well-paid job and I'm respected by my colleagues and by my family.

But: I feel lonely, friendless and especially unlovable. Only one unrequited love and now for about a year gives me a lot of pain.
It's not the lack of sex that makes me feel bad because you just have to pay, but to be unlovable, I have always tried to make the right choices in life.

I tried to think of something else, hobbies, gym, etc... but they didn't help for long, now I'm in deep depression. I can't find other solutions, I cry almost every night.

I can't die, the only thing that stops me is the pain I would give to my parents. I want to live but not in this situation and I'm afraid of going to hell.
However, I can no longer stand the prospect of living alone and have decided to end my life, although I haven't decided the date.

Sorry for English, I'm living in sud Europe.

 

[Suicidal ghost]

Really there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, i would reccomend everyone to wait with loosin ghteir virgnity until they're in a more or less stable place in life, i mean its different when you're a guy, but for girls, where im a 16 year old girl here and one of the main reasons that led me to being on this forum is that i might be pregnant and if i actually am, i'm going ctb, i cannot raise a child nor can i get abortion. Sex is not a funny thing to fuck around with

 

[mistymoo]

I didn't loose mine until I was like 23. It was overrated

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm 21 and I'm a virgin. I haven't even had my first kiss yet. Most of my experiences with sex mostly comes from doing dirty things for men online. I did meet up with one of them before, because we live in the same city, in order to have sex with him. We weren't able to do anything the first time due to nerves. We tried repeatedly to meet up again but our schedules got in the way. Then I eventually fell for someone and now I'm saving my virginity for him.

 

[Sat]

I'm just 18 but not that it's all about sex, I never felt affection my whole life and it stings.

 

[whywere]

Yes, I am 68 and YES, I can remember in 1981 when I was 25 and took a blonde 18-year-old German gal out on a date, her family had moved to the U.S. from Germany.

Oh, well what happened that night enabled me to experience one of the "means of life!", for the 1st time, more on that some other time maybe!

Walter