Venting Anxiety nightmare

[Scarlett]

I made a mistake at work today. Like not a massive one I work as a glorified receptionist so it's not exactly life or death. I just feel like a swallowed a hot potato whole..and it got stuck in my throat. And then the waves of panic came and my hearts beating so fast I think I'm about to pass out. Just what you need on Monday. I hate that I'm so stupid and then just to top it off today my boss takes away my one responsibility. I hate that I'm a waste of space and I hate the most is that I'm too damn scared to end it by myself.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

What was the mistake? You are not a waste of space....i also feel scared to end it.....i understand how you feel

 

[Scarlett]

Thank you @Rallyon it was such a silly mistake that doesn't even matter but I'm at that moment it was. I just feel like life is just such a bloody nightmare and it's not just anxiety i just hate that I don't seem to see and enjoy life like other people. I just need to get over this fear of dying alone I think..it's just SUCH a lonely way to go

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Thank you @Rallyon it was such a silly mistake that doesn't even matter but I'm at that moment it was. I just feel like life is just such a bloody nightmare and it's not just anxiety i just hate that I don't seem to see and enjoy life like other people. I just need to get over this fear of dying alone I think..it's just SUCH a lonely way to go

Me either i feel i cant enjoy or socialize at all ..it is hard ...im here if you ever want too talk

 

[randomz]

I completely understand how you feel. I myself started work as a lawyer in a law firm at the beginning of the year and since then the anxiety and the pressure are killing me. I am not exactly a full-blown laywer like the ones you see on TV I am more like a "support laywer"" - a person who does everything a lawyer does except representing people in court. That's the easiest way I can explain it, as I live in an eastern european country and the law structure is a bit different than that in the US/western Europe.

My point is that since about 6-7 months I feel the way you do every day. Even the smallest mistakes ruin my everyday life, I started receiving panic attacks even when I am not at work, can't enjoy my normal life anymore, started going the a psychologist, thought about quitting my job but due to my life situation that is kinda impossible to do.

On the positive side now, constant anxiety is something you can deal with by using psychotherapy and the right medications and changing your lifestyle a bit.For the past month I started feeling a bit better - at least my desire to not go to work and the constant struggle and fear to do even the simpliest tasks faded a little bit and now I can at least enjoy some relaxing time at home. I still get anxious and feel fear often but hopefully things will get better with time. I am sure you will be able to cope with the anxiety, just make sure to take the required steps - go to a psychologist, start taking some light antidepressants like anything with Passion flower (I found out it helps me), do some exercise, find some hobbies (my psychotherapist says that everyone should have at least 5 hobbies to keep him occupied) and know that this feelings are not permanent and you will get better :)

 

[Scarlett]

I completely understand how you feel. I myself started work as a lawyer in a law firm at the beginning of the year and since then the anxiety and the pressure are killing me. I am not exactly a full-blown laywer like the ones you see on TV I am more like a "support laywer"" - a person who does everything a lawyer does except representing people in court. That's the easiest way I can explain it, as I live in an eastern european country and the law structure is a bit different than that in the US/western Europe.

My point is that since about 6-7 months I feel the way you do every day. Even the smallest mistakes ruin my everyday life, I started receiving panic attacks even when I am not at work, can't enjoy my normal life anymore, started going the a psychologist, thought about quitting my job but due to my life situation that is kinda impossible to do.

On the positive side now, constant anxiety is something you can deal with by using psychotherapy and the right medications and changing your lifestyle a bit.For the past month I started feeling a bit better - at least my desire to not go to work and the constant struggle and fear to do even the simpliest tasks faded a little bit and now I can at least enjoy some relaxing time at home. I still get anxious and feel fear often but hopefully things will get better with time. I am sure you will be able to cope with the anxiety, just make sure to take the required steps - go to a psychologist, start taking some light antidepressants like anything with Passion flower (I found out it helps me), do some exercise, find some hobbies (my psychotherapist says that everyone should have at least 5 hobbies to keep him occupied) and know that this feelings are not permanent and you will get better :)

That's really great @randomz I'm glad your finding therapy helpful. I did go to a Pilates class tonight but i couldn't get out of me head. You have achieved a lot and I'm super proud of you sticking the job out when many people would have given up and quit. Anxiety is a battle and some days it's hard to fight it

 

[randomz]

That's really great @randomz I'm glad your finding therapy helpful. I did go to a Pilates class tonight but i couldn't get out of me head. You have achieved a lot and I'm super proud of you sticking the job out when many people would have given up and quit. Anxiety is a battle and some days it's hard to fight it

Well thoughts of quitting are still in my head, though. It's a real battle, that's true and I wish to you smash anxiety's face!

 

[Moonicide]

Thank you @Rallyon it was such a silly mistake that doesn't even matter but I'm at that moment it was. I just feel like life is just such a bloody nightmare and it's not just anxiety i just hate that I don't seem to see and enjoy life like other people. I just need to get over this fear of dying alone I think..it's just SUCH a lonely way to go

I relate to that a lot. Dying alone was one of my biggest fears before I wanted to ctb. But I realized I felt even more alone around people and I've felt like that for years that ctbing alone didn't seem so bad after all. Especially when I'd only be a part of this world for a few more minutes. I hope you are able to be at peace one day, love. In whatever form that may be for you.

Me either i feel i cant enjoy or socialize at all ..it is hard ...im here if you ever want too talk

Same here. I can't really socialize in real life at all. It's been like that for years, all I have is technology. It's my only form of socializing that keeps me in touch with the real world.

 

[Rushon]

I started having anxiety and panic attacks when I was 42 years old. Don't know what the trigger was, but I am now almost 60 and they have never stopped, slowed down some but...I am a sales rep so I drive a lot. Traffic jams cause me to lose my mind, I panic as I am no longer in control of the situation. I think that is the reason I can't fly, I am not scared. I had a long term girlfriend but she got tired of my issues.l