Anxiety for no reason

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm going to college soon and it's giving me anxiety for seemingly no reason. My grant that I've received is essentially paying me to go to college since it's more than the college costs, but currently, I still feel a lot of anxiety around it all.

I don't know why I can't be happy or excited. Instead, I'm fearful and anxious. This sucks but I don't know what to do about it. I feel anxiety not just about college, but many things, most surrounding college.

I'm sure once it starts this will subside but currently it's controlling my life, I can't wait until I am into it and when I finish in a few years from now, then I can hopefully afford to move and feel like I get a fresh start and leave this shithole small town I'm in behind. I'll probably only come back to visit some family, like my elderly grandpa if he's still alive after I move. He's too old to be able to visit, he's not the best at driving, but anyways, I'm barely gonna come back in this town and I don't ever plan on living here again in the future when I can get out.

 

[laceandsilk]

What aspects of college are you nervous about specifically? Are you able to put these fears into a tangible list? Maybe write it down, and take it one step at a time. Is the thing on your list something that you can do something about? If so, what can you do? Take it one step at a time and deal with the things that you're able to do something about. If it's something you cannot do anything about that is giving you anxiety, try to start an activity that will distract you a bit from thoughts of that thing.
Change is always scary because it's hard to gauge how it will go. However, you seem to be a person who is smart and capable. The fact you have made it this far and even gotten a grant is an indication of that. I believe that you will make it through this anxiety. If you need anything at all, we are here to support you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think the uncertainty of existing is enough to make anybody anxious and it must be tiring having to go through that. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

What aspects of college are you nervous about specifically? Are you able to put these fears into a tangible list? Maybe write it down, and take it one step at a time. Is the thing on your list something that you can do something about? If so, what can you do? Take it one step at a time and deal with the things that you're able to do something about. If it's something you cannot do anything about that is giving you anxiety, try to start an activity that will distract you a bit from thoughts of that thing.
Change is always scary because it's hard to gauge how it will go. However, you seem to be a person who is smart and capable. The fact you have made it this far and even gotten a grant is an indication of that. I believe that you will make it through this anxiety. If you need anything at all, we are here to support you.

It's likely majority nothing tangible. At least not that I can put into words currently. There's some worries I can name like it being completely online, as they don't have enough teachers for the summer, unsure about the major (computer science, I think I'll like it but it seems very hard}, plus just that it's a large change.

The rest is probably just me being anxious for no reason. I do appreciate the support I get here, sadly I feel I get more here than from family. I'll be the first one in my family (aside from some distant members) to get a college education, and the first of my grandparents grandchildren, and children, to get one so I don't have anyone to go to who would understand this kind of stuff. I appreciate your support though.

 

[Tuurngait]

Whenever I have to do anything new I get this exact same irrational anxiety. All I can say is that self-driven exposure therapy helps me wonders.
The more you do things the less your body will react with fear to them. Trying to overcome a fear of phone calls right now myself - seems to be the last big hurdle I have left to kick over.

 

[laceandsilk]

That's completely understandable. I think the most nerve-wracking things can be the sort that we can't quite put words to, but again, if there's nothing to be done then you're doing all you can. You're fully capable for what life throws and you've got this.

As for the tangible worries, I know everyone's different, but personally I prefer online classes! I am very ADHD, so the ability to pause and replay lectures is very helpful to me. My social anxiety is also down since there are no classmates. I don't know if that helps at all. If you're worried about maybe getting the social connections for college, there are always clubs, and you can message your classmates about questions and perhaps form bonds that way.
Computer science does sound like it might be challenging, but if it's something you think you'll like, then I think it's at least worth a shot. And it sounds like you're taking the step to make that commitment, and that in itself is admirable- having the bravery to try something out.

I don't think you're being anxious for "no reason." Your feelings are valid and everyone needs reassurance. As stated before, change is scary. You're not alone in your anxieties, we understand. If there's anything else causing concern, feel free to talk about them. Sometimes just getting it out and having someone tell you it's gonna be okay is enough to make it to the next day, the next hour, the next minute.

Congratulations on your admittance!!!!!! You've worked so hard and you've earned it. If your family is not proud, then they should be abundantly so. I'm sorry they can't seem to offer much support in such a big time, but again, we are here.

 

[Ambivalent1]

There's always a reason.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Whenever I have to do anything new I get this exact same irrational anxiety. All I can say is that self-driven exposure therapy helps me wonders.
The more you do things the less your body will react with fear to them. Trying to overcome a fear of phone calls right now myself - seems to be the last big hurdle I have left to kick over.

I can actually say exposing myself to my fears has worked on other aspects of my life. I have the same fear of phone calls but it's definitely gotten less worse. I used to be very timid and afraid to ask things in public, but just today, my aunt and uncle had me ask a nurse at a nursing home about something that they were too timid to ask. I hope you can kick your fear of phone calls, I still have a bit to do on that front

That's completely understandable. I think the most nerve-wracking things can be the sort that we can't quite put words to, but again, if there's nothing to be done then you're doing all you can. You're fully capable for what life throws and you've got this.

As for the tangible worries, I know everyone's different, but personally I prefer online classes! I am very ADHD, so the ability to pause and replay lectures is very helpful to me. My social anxiety is also down since there are no classmates. I don't know if that helps at all. If you're worried about maybe getting the social connections for college, there are always clubs, and you can message your classmates about questions and perhaps form bonds that way.
Computer science does sound like it might be challenging, but if it's something you think you'll like, then I think it's at least worth a shot. And it sounds like you're taking the step to make that commitment, and that in itself is admirable- having the bravery to try something out.

I don't think you're being anxious for "no reason." Your feelings are valid and everyone needs reassurance. As stated before, change is scary. You're not alone in your anxieties, we understand. If there's anything else causing concern, feel free to talk about them. Sometimes just getting it out and having someone tell you it's gonna be okay is enough to make it to the next day, the next hour, the next minute.

Congratulations on your admittance!!!!!! You've worked so hard and you've earned it. If your family is not proud, then they should be abundantly so. I'm sorry they can't seem to offer much support in such a big time, but again, we are here.

I appreciate the sentiment, I hope I can handle what life throws at me now and in coming years, as so far, I have no plans to leave.

And I can honestly relate on the ADHD and being able to replay classes as I was in high school during Covid, and my grades went up because I didn't have the struggle of zoning out. I do enjoy in person classmates, but I'll have to wait until the fall for that, and even then, I only have 1 class in person. It's a speech class which will suck. Maybe I will start discussions with classmates and try to make friends that way, but thank you, I'm trying so hard to be brave enough. Right after high school, I was planning on going but I got far too anxious. Now, I feel more prepared.

I always feel better after writing these posts here, it's like some of the anxiety. You actually have helped me recognize some of my sources of anxiety in the moment.

They may be proud and I'm just not recognizing it. I've talked with an aunt, because she was considering going to college but got pregnant and changed her plans, so she's helped me more than my mom or any other family members. Thank you so much for all your kind words, this community is great sometimes.