Venting Anxiety feels so awful

[citruslynx]

Everyday I feel like I'm being pumped full of adrenaline for no reason and I'm on edge all fucking day. My family gives me anxiety, the thought about my future gives me anxiety, ruminating about my past and all of my choices makes me want to barf.

My chest feels like it's full of water and it gets hard to physically breathe, and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. It's like I drank 50 cans of energy drinks and I can't calm down at ALL. Uhhghhghh.... guhhghuhhg........... I hate this... I hate feeling anxious and like I need to be bracing myself 24/7 in case something bad is gonna happen inevitably.... I want a break, and I want some quiet but this nervous energy and feelings of doom won't ever go away I fear. I keep thinking of how if I were to CTB, this would all end and that sounds delicious. But I'm too weak to do it. Very aggravatingly, I'm not ready yet..........

 

[MathConspiracy]

I'm so sorry you're suffering like that, I can't imagine what such anxiety feels like. I've been experiencing mild anxiety amidst my depressed numbness for some time now, it feels horrible. I don't know about you, but my anxiety stems from the fact that my CTB is getting closer. I really can't bear to see my friends and family if I fail.

However, I'm sending my hugs and support to you, I hope the bell jar holding you captive lifts (reference to Sylvia Plath) <3

 

[citruslynx]

I'm so sorry you're suffering like that, I can't imagine what such anxiety feels like. I've been experiencing mild anxiety amidst my depressed numbness for some time now, it feels horrible. I don't know about you, but my anxiety stems from the fact that my CTB is getting closer. I really can't bear to see my friends and family if I fail.

However, I'm sending my hugs and support to you, I hope the bell jar holding you captive lifts (reference to Sylvia Plath) <3

Sorry to hear that you also experience anxiety, it's rough I don't have the courage needed to CTB as of yet, so it seems I'm partially spared in that aspect compared to you but I do empathize with the part where you wouldn't be able to bear to see my family, if that circumstance were to ever become reality. I think that's one of the reasons I'm scared to ever even try CTB.

Thanks for the hugs and support, I am trying very hard to not feel like I'm drowning tonight... I just want to sleep but for whatever reason it's not happening.

 

[BrokenMindAndBody]

Everyday I feel like I'm being pumped full of adrenaline for no reason and I'm on edge all fucking day. My family gives me anxiety, the thought about my future gives me anxiety, ruminating about my past and all of my choices makes me want to barf.

My chest feels like it's full of water and it gets hard to physically breathe, and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. It's like I drank 50 cans of energy drinks and I can't calm down at ALL. Uhhghhghh.... guhhghuhhg........... I hate this... I hate feeling anxious and like I need to be bracing myself 24/7 in case something bad is gonna happen inevitably.... I want a break, and I want some quiet but this nervous energy and feelings of doom won't ever go away I fear. I keep thinking of how if I were to CTB, this would all end and that sounds delicious. But I'm too weak to do it. Very aggravatingly, I'm not ready yet..........

It's awful. When I was younger before the worst part of my mental health issues hit I could concentrate and actually be productive. As I get older the racing thoughts and anxiety mostly just get worse. That and my attention problems. For my anxiety back then I was prescribed benzodiazpines. It worked great in the beginning but then lead to decades of awful addiction. I finally kicked them in 2018 but even now things are still way off. I can't sleep tonight either.

 

[citruslynx]

It's awful. When I was younger before the worst part of my mental health issues hit I could concentrate and actually be productive. As I get older the racing thoughts and anxiety mostly just get worse. That and my attention problems. For my anxiety back then I was prescribed benzodiazpines. It worked great in the beginning but then lead to decades of awful addiction. I finally kicked them in 2018 but even now things are still way off. I can't sleep tonight either.

The racing thoughts feels impossible to stop once they start going, it IS awful. Sorry to hear that medication didn't help in the long run, but also glad that you were able to kick the addiction. At least we aren't alone in not getting sleep tonight (though it does make me sad that someone else is going through the same thing...)

 

[divinemistress87]

Its awful even worss than depression

 

[BrokenMindAndBody]

The racing thoughts feels impossible to stop once they start going, it IS awful. Sorry to hear that medication didn't help in the long run, but also glad that you were able to kick the addiction. At least we aren't alone in not getting sleep tonight (though it does make me sad that someone else is going through the same thing...)

I did eventually fall asleep for a few hours. What about you?

 

[citruslynx]

I did eventually fall asleep for a few hours. What about you?

That is good to hear. I fell asleep sometime in the afternoon I think, thanks for asking! <3 Although, it seriously messes up my sleep schedule every time so it's maddening when it happens right after I manage to fix it because it's back to square one in trying to fix it yet again...

 

[venerated-vader]

I hit this wild amount of anxiety for 2-3 weeks recently and I have never wanted to die so fucking badly. I can reasonably deal with depression, but severe anxiety is unbearable.

 

[citruslynx]

I hit this wild amount of anxiety for 2-3 weeks recently and I have never wanted to die so fucking badly. I can reasonably deal with depression, but severe anxiety is unbearable.

I think I'm the same, depression I can cope with for the most part. Anxiety on the other hand is so fucking unbearable that I can't even distract myself, it's something that I can't really put into words other than I get really on edge and antsy to the max.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Anxiety like (y)ours, the kind that feels untreatable, is the worst.

Does music help? Sometimes I play certain music, put it on repeat, and it seems to help. Same with white noise apps.

 

[citruslynx]

Anxiety like (y)ours, the kind that feels untreatable, is the worst.

Does music help? Sometimes I play certain music, put it on repeat, and it seems to help. Same with white noise apps.

Sadly I feel like music sometimes "irritates" my anxiety more. In the sense that I put on some music to help soothe or distract myself but when I find it doesn't work or help, it makes me feel worse 'cause I'll get the thought of "Fuck, why isn't this helping! What else do I have to try to get rid of this anxiety? Will nothing help at all?"

I think it feels like something needs my full attention so having music in the back just makes me more aggravated cause it starts to overwhelm me with stimuli. Or sometimes it amplifies my feelings so that I tunnel-vision into whatever it is I am feeling.

Man am I sensitive or what