Honestly I said I wanted to stop thinking about suicide… I was trying to distract my mind and pray and do things to keep my situation out of my head but at this point I'm literally going crazy. I get nothing out of living a life I don't want. I don't have the ability to work to get my ex back. I have no goal or purpose that I want to accomplish that makes me want to live. At this point I'm just about to go buy some antifreeze and chug it. I don't care about how much it will hurt as long as the suffering in my head ends after. This is not worth it to me… literally every day I see someone do something worse than me an not be punished or getting an opportunity to get their love back. I do not want to live anymore… I need to die. She doesn't love me anymore and to me that is a life I don't want
squirley
: )
- May 6, 2023
- 582
Don't chug anti freeze... check the recovery section.
This can take up to 24hrs.
Of just shit.
Won't solve suffering but will cause a lot more.
There are many other ways to ctb without suffering that you can research.
In the end it's up to you..
Just take your time and see your options
Good luck.
This can take up to 24hrs.
Of just shit.
Won't solve suffering but will cause a lot more.
There are many other ways to ctb without suffering that you can research.
In the end it's up to you..
Just take your time and see your options
Good luck.
Yeah I agree with Squirley, im really sorry things are like that it sounds really tough but please look into something that would cause less suffering
theres other ways that are way more effective and humane
I understand what you're feeling. My ex also told me she doesn't want me anymore and i can't live without her. Just want this suffering to end...thinking about my family prevents me doing anything about it.
I don't want to recover anymore… I don't want to do life. There are no better options. I just wish someone would kill me. I truly don't care if it hurts for a day. I've been suffering life for 34 years trying to figure this crap out
I'm sorry you are going through this as well. I tried to give it a chance for my family but honestly my soul is broken and I just don't want life anymore
I've attempted other methods… I'm done with it. I just don't want to wake up anymore. I'm tired and overwhelmed. If it's 24 hours of suffering to be done I don't care. Those other methods can't be purchased at a store up the street and hanging is literally impossible with SI
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squirley
: )
- May 6, 2023
- 582
There are better options than anti freeze.
It's your choice if you want to ctb.
And I'm sorry life has brought you to this.
Even though personally I don't agree with allowing an "ex" to control your ctb.
Your 34 Years old and should know that relationships crumble sometimes.
Not 17.. filled with heart break. First GF ever.
I do sympathize with you because I don't know your full situation but it seems very erratic.
I totally understand.
I've had a couple failed attempts with booze and meds and drugs. Due to erratic choices. And the after math was not fun.
But the amount of pain that anti freeze will cause you.
Literally burning your insides...
Kidney damage etc.
Puking.
Plus being found.
It can cause you a lot more issues.
Either way its your choice. I'm just recommending you check the other threads for other methods.
I've spent a life time trying to figure it out as well. But this is why I took a breath and read some threads on the best way to go on that trip... without causing more suffering.
I've tried a lot of things honestly that are "less suffering" methods. I just want to be done. To me dying over a breakup is enough. I'm tired of life and I'm sure I sound childish. It's not a life I want anymore. If there was cyanide or something in my reach I'd have done it without posting. I'm tired of the research after research… I'm tired of failed attempts forcing me to be stuck trying life again only to be knocked down. God obviously hated me because those kids that attempted succeeded where me a grown man failed multiple times. I'm tired of it. I wish someone would shoot me…
Never ever try to complete your ctb over a man unless if there is way more deeper issues than that. I have antifreeze myself but I will complete ctb by hanging as that is way faster and quicker.
There is 7 billion people in the world and if you are hurt right now you might need some time to heal and it's okay to feel low and down about it, you are human after all.
Personally I hate and despise living because this mf that has been mentally abusing me on and off since 2018, he has destroyed every aspect of my life and I hate him and because of this I want to complete ctb. I do not want to be anyone's punching bag anymore and be his "supply" of his narcissism.
Anyway good luck with the decision that you will end up taking even though I thinking completing ctb over a man is not worth it.
There is 7 billion people in the world and if you are hurt right now you might need some time to heal and it's okay to feel low and down about it, you are human after all.
Personally I hate and despise living because this mf that has been mentally abusing me on and off since 2018, he has destroyed every aspect of my life and I hate him and because of this I want to complete ctb. I do not want to be anyone's punching bag anymore and be his "supply" of his narcissism.
Anyway good luck with the decision that you will end up taking even though I thinking completing ctb over a man is not worth it.
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It's a woman but I hear you. Just want to say I definitely have other things that make life suck… I've also been in and out of relationships but to me she is the only thing I wanted out of life. I just also want to say I appreciate everyone for commenting but telling someone their reason isn't good enough I part of an issue that we all go through and hearing that from others who are supposed to be the closest to understanding your feelings of all the people in the world is also very defeating. I'm already not good enough… now I'm not even good enough to want to ctb because my reason isn't good enough. Feels very sad
A few years back i took/stole 20 g of potassium cyanide from work. Dissolved it in water and was ready to go but after smelling it i chickened out. Should have ended in when i had the chance.
I understand your feelings. I was days from dying a few years back and I went to the hospital and they saved me. I wish I didn't go
Departme
Member
- Mar 23, 2023
- 81
What happened to take you to the hospital? SI can be overwhelming if given time to think about things after the event, the mind just plays on you. I foolishly did Paracetamol 20g a few years ago and then the day after when I just felt a little unwell I started researching the effects and and the time it takes etc, and in a panic I then went to the hospital but the A&E was so busy that day I just went home as I would have preferred a miserable death to 10 hours waiting in a hospital! So then I spent the next 3-4 days thinking my number was up and the liver would begin to pack in any day, but it was fine and just goes to show what a naff method OTC meds are!
I had a ruptured appendix and was puking up blood. Doctor said I was days away… I wish those days would have passed so I wouldn't have had to go through the things I've gone through since then. Since then I've attempted suicide more times than I can count… visine, hanging, multiple over the counter drug attempts, gun in my mouth, tried to crash into a semi truck, tried to drown myself, carbon monoxide with a charcoal grill in my car. Honestly I hate the fact that I have to make these decisions… I just wanted life to work out for once man… for fuckijg once something I did to be right
If you have tried gun in your mouth how come you are still alive ? Surely you would be gone now , that has a 100 success rate..
Got caught in the act and haven't had access to a gun again due to various reasons
The anhedonic one
Dead inside
- May 20, 2023
- 1,070
Oh fuck man !
I've been where you are. I swear that losing the love of your life is the worst emotional pain imaginable.
It's fucking soul crushingly brutal.
Is there absolutely no way you could get her back ?
Have all avenues been exhausted ?
If it's worth trying again, then I would go for it.
What have you got to lose ?
But if there's no chance of getting back, then I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
I've been where you are. I swear that losing the love of your life is the worst emotional pain imaginable.
It's fucking soul crushingly brutal.
Is there absolutely no way you could get her back ?
Have all avenues been exhausted ?
If it's worth trying again, then I would go for it.
What have you got to lose ?
But if there's no chance of getting back, then I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
No this is bad advice, she left him why should he beg her ?? For what exactly??. personally I wouldn't kill myself over someone unless there is more that what's being said here. Maybe it's just me I have never experienced love that deep that I would want to kill myself over someone but then again I'm not OP.
It is also strange that OP has tried all these methods and still fail ….
No way to get her back… not even time can fix it.
How is that strange? SI is a difficult thing to overcome or none of us would even be on this forum. I've found it easier to attempt with ingestion of something for whatever reason. And obviously this are the least reliable methods without having access to some of the reliable methods… hanging is not just some throw a rope around your neck and ur done thing. The one time I've been the closest I woke up hours after to a broken tie that I used at the time. I was caught with the gun in my mouth and became sensitive to the fact that I didn't want someone to see that and of course what else is going to happen when someone catches you with a gun in your mouth… I drank 10 bottles of visine and that's nothing reliable… it's not uncommon to have a lot of attempts. And yes I want to kill myself over a woman… I have other shit obviously but none of that matters if she chose me. Yes I have mental illness, yes I lost my job, yes my dad wasn't present blah blah but that isn't why I want to ctb currently. I don't care about that I just don't want to live without her and that's a good enough reason for me
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,913
It's really understandable just wanting to be free from all the suffering, existing certainly is so torturous so I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for. I never understand those who go on about suicide needing a valid reason, as after all we will all die someday whether there's a reason behind it or not and someone shouldn't have to continue suffering if they don't wish to.
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