4
44nutz1977
Member
- Oct 19, 2021
- 61
I have many reasons to end things. But one thing that cemented it for me recently was watching the Anthony Bourdain documentary last month. Called 'Roadrunner'.
What an amazing sensitive man he was.
There is a section where he visits a psychiatrist. He allows a camera to film this.
The psychiatrist asks him....
"Do you really want to change anything?"
"Do you really want to change the way you feel?"
Anthony pauses for a long time.
He replies with a definitive certainty.
He says..
"I suspect it's too late"
That shit hit me hard.
He didn't just 'suspect' things were too late to change. He KNEW it.
Watching Anthony speak to people about happiness it was clear to me his small bursts of happiness were really forced. He just had so many internal troubles. Huge trouble to maintain a level of happiness. This was more than just life events fucking him up. His persona. His character... His mental anguish. After trying so hard to be comfortable in his skin. He just wanted to leave.
That's where I am right fucking now.
It's too late now. I tried so damn hard.
And I have made peace with that.
What an amazing sensitive man he was.
There is a section where he visits a psychiatrist. He allows a camera to film this.
The psychiatrist asks him....
"Do you really want to change anything?"
"Do you really want to change the way you feel?"
Anthony pauses for a long time.
He replies with a definitive certainty.
He says..
"I suspect it's too late"
That shit hit me hard.
He didn't just 'suspect' things were too late to change. He KNEW it.
Watching Anthony speak to people about happiness it was clear to me his small bursts of happiness were really forced. He just had so many internal troubles. Huge trouble to maintain a level of happiness. This was more than just life events fucking him up. His persona. His character... His mental anguish. After trying so hard to be comfortable in his skin. He just wanted to leave.
That's where I am right fucking now.
It's too late now. I tried so damn hard.
And I have made peace with that.