answers, I hope SN

[malummo]

use a translator. I apologize for the lengthy post. try to answer a few questions set up here. I've been reading this forum for 4 months and I did not register before because I was waiting for my boyfriend's autopsy report. I found the site on the bf phone after his death. took his life with SN. I came home after work and found him dead. I was shocked that I could not remember the ambulance number. I ran a neighbor to call them and back to him to cpr. I persisted in trying to save him, and I knew he was dead. I tried to turn him aside, I do not know why ... out of desperation to wake up. I suppose he was disoriented because in the kitchen for the first time he fell on his face and broke his forehead, nose, and lip .. there was blood on the floor ... and then he headed for the out door. he fell down another time. he had bleeding under the brain envelope and brain edema. the autopsy did not show SN in the blood and they concluded that he died due to circulatory arrest due to atherosclerosis. had diphenhydramine and diazepam in the blood. I do not know how much SN and tablet he took. about half 1 pm and 3 pm died. someone asked how the body looks after SN. he was not blue, but he had blue bruises in his arms and his ears and nails were black. I found him with open eyes. It's a terrible traumatic experience. my depression worsened to the utmost limits. I do not want to live without my boyfriend. I bought SN and studied the method to the details but I was scared for dying. not because of death. I fight day after day and I'm confined to limbo. I want to have the balls like he had to end with this suffering.
I hope you understand what I wrote.
I dunno.. That's what I think. They didn't even look for meteamoglobin.. The coroner thought it was carbon monoxide poisoning, and that's what they were looking for. Says they were unable to measure the concentration

 

[Codieb1]

Doesn't sound like he used SN. If you're going to do SN, make sure you read all the information needed

 

[not_a_robot]

Sorry that happened to you.

 

[malummo]

Sorry that happened to you.

Thank you

Doesn't sound like he used SN. If you're going to do SN, make sure you read all the information needed

He use SN..

Doesn't sound like he used SN. If you're going to do SN, make sure you read all the information needed

He took SN.. I have his mail with ordering

 

[1234dave]

It's sounds like he died before Sn was absorbed then.


It would've shown in tests though. Maybe he didn't take it

 

[malummo]

I have 100 scenarios in my head what happened.. I'm sure he drank. So many details.. Broken glass in the sink, watery milky liquid on the floor, disorientation.. And I think those two falls were fatal. First in front, 2 on the back. However, he scored the goal.

 

[littlelady774]

Maybe he died from the falls instead of Methemoglobinemia.

Anyway, really sorry to hear what happened :/

 

[malummo]

Maybe he died from the falls instead of Methemoglobinemia.

Anyway, really sorry to hear what happened :/

Thanku, it's hard

 

[HitchHiker]

It must have been so traumatic for you, I'm sorry you had to go through that

 

[thedutchguy]

Sorry that you experience such a trauma

 

[malummo]

It's traumatic. I've been depressed for years, but I dealt with it, and I had him. I'm a numb now and nothing can make me happy. I don't blame him, I envy him and all the other people who have the courage to do it. Whether suicide is selfish.. Is.. But you finally do something for yourself, not your family or your boss. You don't care, you're dead.. What is the meaning of living?. To work, eat, drink, piss, shit, sleep, fight with emotion, pain, sickness and so in a circle for years while you wait for a ripper to knock on your door.. They'll come anyway. For me it's simple, you're born to achieve death. Sooner or later.

 

[Soul]

I'm very sorry for your loss, and that you went through something that traumatic, and that you're suffering. I hope you'll be very gentle with yourself while you're working out how you want to move forward. Please don't take any decisions in a rush - things aren't likely to go well when we do that and I would hate to see your situation get any harder.

It seems odd that he used SN and the coroner didn't find any trace of it; maybe he vomited most of it but it was still enough to undo him.

Do you know if your friend registered here, and what his user name was? Maybe you could find some comfort in his posts, if there were any.

I'm sorry. Take care. x

 

[jake3d]

I am sorry for your loss. I have lost someone on here to SN as well, I try not to think about it anymore. There comes a time for all of us, and each of us here have our own reasons why we would want to remove ourselves from this life.

They didn't even look for meteamoglobin.. The coroner thought it was carbon monoxide poisoning, and that's what they were looking for. Says they were unable to measure the concentration

The condition caused in the body by SN and CO is very similar. SN poisoning can pass for CO poisoning.

 

[malummo]

Not my friend but a partner, we lived together.. was not registered in the forum.. Actually he was looking for a method and first he bumped into Lostallhope and then here... Only a week has been studied SN.. That day when he came to him he took it... The coroner immediately suspected the CO and the police kept asking me if the heater was in order and was burning it that day.. Drove him to the forensic medicine, and as far as I know there are not doing a general autopsy but targeted. The report said that the GC-MS method of cyanide and Method by Heilmeyer could not determine carboxichemoglobin... Thanks Soul for the nice words but when the brain decides to be constantly in the fog and not see life anymore, then it is the end, but i cope for now.. Jake.. I read that you also lost a dear person. I'm so sorry... Awful feeling.. we all have our reasons for eternal peace.