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suffering_mo

Specialist
May 8, 2024
357
I would have died if I had not panicked and called for help. I think if you keep it in for at least several minutes, you had been fasting, and it is actually pure the odds are pretty well in your favor. I'd say most failures are due to calling for help, and those that aren't either didn't have pure SN or miscalculated the dose. Vomiting too early can contribute, but I only kept mine down for 10 minutes and I still reached lethal levels of methemoglobemia. I had to get CPR. I know this is a bit of survivorship bias here, though.
Was the panic from the symptoms (tachycardia, difficulty breathing, etc)? Or from the realization that "oh shit. I'm not ready to die?"
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Was the panic from the symptoms (tachycardia, difficulty breathing, etc)? Or from the realization that "oh shit. I'm not ready to die?"
From the SI. In my goodbye thread people posted what I was saying in the chat at the time and I kept saying "I want to die but I don't think this will kill me". I'm not sure why I was so convinced of that, but SI, especially when hypoxic isn't exactly rational, it's just doing anything to save you. It was more psychological than physiological. I don't recall the distress being from the physical sensations, but it's been a long time so memories are pretty fuzzy anymore. The most accurate info would be from my goodbye thread.
 
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suffering_mo

Specialist
May 8, 2024
357
From the SI. In my goodbye thread people posted what I was saying in the chat at the time and I kept saying "I want to die but I don't think this will kill me". I'm not sure why I was so convinced of that, but SI, especially when hypoxic isn't exactly rational, it's just doing anything to save you. It was more psychological than physiological. I don't recall the distress being from the physical sensations, but it's been a long time so memories are pretty fuzzy anymore. The most accurate info would be from my goodbye thread.
I'm still considering the method but your experience of it did not come off to me as "peaceful" , nor quick, as many here like to claim. At one point, you described the pain of it as 6/10. Is it more peaceful to lighting yourself on fire? Or jumping from a bridge? Or getting run over by a train? Probably so...I guess "relatively" peaceful (as in relative to other methods) is probably how it should be described.... Maybe if you are more aware of what you are in for, and know kind of what to expect, it might be easier to withstand? Thanks for sharing your experience.
 
willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
I'm still considering the method but your experience of it did not come off to me as "peaceful" , nor quick, as many here like to claim. At one point, you described the pain of it as 6/10. Is it more peaceful to lighting yourself on fire? Or jumping from a bridge? Or getting run over by a train? Probably so...I guess "relatively" peaceful (as in relative to other methods) is probably how it should be described.... Maybe if you are more aware of what you are in for, and know kind of what to expect, it might be easier to withstand? Thanks for sharing your experience.
I have a pretty high pain tolerance. 6/10 wasn't too bad for me. My pain tolerance has only increased with time so I have a feeling if I were to take SN again I would rank the pain even lower.
 
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Unknown21

Unknown21

?/?/2024
Apr 25, 2023
966
In the serious attempt, I don't remember how many capsules I took. I think between 10-14. The police report says I took 4oz, but idk how they figured that. Since I put the SN in capsules, it took a little longer to kick in but still not very long. I lost consciousness within 20 minutes I believe. It wasn't painful at all and I was not nauseous. I knew when I was about to lose consciousness and I felt very at peace with that. My entire body was cold, all I could see was white. I truly believed that would be my last moment. Of course I was found and unfortunately saved but doctors originally told my mom I wouldn't make it. I think I'm invincible because I've survived 7292738 other attempts too. I just went back to the confirmation email from last year when I ordered the SN and it says lab grade, whatever that means
May i ask what do you mean exactly by saying " all i cuold see was white". Also could you estimate when you were found. What does it feel to loss consciousness from sn, Is it similar to losing consciousness from anesthesia in surgery?
 
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DOHARDTHINGS24

Specialist
Apr 30, 2024
348
I read the first few posts of this thread before I realised it went for pages & I apologise I don't have the time to read it all & again if this has been covered. There seemed to me to be a distinct confusion with the word lethal. They died, therefore it was lethal. Perhaps instead of "lethal" the point was peacefulness? Or instantaneous? But if the aim is to die & they died, then?? Apologies again if I missed something, I'm out of time for the night…
 
watamote12

watamote12

-
Sep 26, 2024
28
if unsuccessful, risk of brain damage to the medial temporal lobe, similar to non-fatal CO poisoning
 
Fardarmist

Fardarmist

Member
Sep 18, 2024
38
I read the first few posts of this thread before I realised it went for pages & I apologise I don't have the time to read it all & again if this has been covered. There seemed to me to be a distinct confusion with the word lethal. They died, therefore it was lethal. Perhaps instead of "lethal" the point was peacefulness? Or instantaneous? But if the aim is to die & they died, then?? Apologies again if I missed something, I'm out of time for the night…
I mean I get that sort of. The question was HOW lethal. Even water can end someone's life if you drink enough. However clearly SN is more deadly than water.
 
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DOHARDTHINGS24

Specialist
Apr 30, 2024
348
I mean I get that sort of. The question was HOW lethal. Even water can end someone's life if you drink enough. However clearly SN is more deadly than water.
I think I'm too literal or too pedantic (or just wrong).
I think lethal means causes death.
It caused death.
The first post in thread said:
"If this person lived for an hour during that I wouldn't call that very lethal."
But they died, therefore lethal.
Maybe I'm completely off track & there are degrees of lethality but that's not how I would use the word. I still didn't read it all & probs won't so I don't have anything more to add & don't want to hijack the post because I don't have anything helpful to add. Sorry for butting in.
 
Fardarmist

Fardarmist

Member
Sep 18, 2024
38
I think I'm too literal or too pedantic (or just wrong).
I think lethal means causes death.
It caused death.
The first post in thread said:
"If this person lived for an hour during that I wouldn't call that very lethal."
But they died, therefore lethal.
Maybe I'm completely off track & there are degrees of lethality but that's not how I would use the word. I still didn't read it all & probs won't so I don't have anything more to add & don't want to hijack the post because I don't have anything helpful to add. Sorry for butting in.
You know, like I said I sort of get that. I get that's the word is used incorrectly by multiple users. But it's hard to imagine anyone wondering if something would end your life when in different amounts or dosages anything could.
 
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shame

Member
Jul 17, 2024
68
I have a pretty high pain tolerance. 6/10 wasn't too bad for me. My pain tolerance has only increased with time so I have a feeling if I were to take SN again I would rank the pain even lower.
Have you already had attempt with SN?
 
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tiredofliving14

Member
Sep 20, 2024
14
did you vomit. did you take metoclopramide or another anti-emetic? what size and kind of capsules did you use? how many miligrams does one capsule hold? or what size capsule: do you have a link to the capsules?

I'm just trying to gauge the efficacy of taking SN in capsules method. you are the first i've seen make an attempt with capsules.

Are you in the U.S. ? does that SN source still deliver to the U.S. ?

The largest capsules hold about 1 gram so you might have taken at max 10 grams SN in my estimation if you only took 10-14 capsules.


I did not throw up at all. I didn't take any medicine beforehand or anything the protocol said to do. I don't know how many milligrams each capsule could
May i ask what do you mean exactly by saying " all i cuold see was white". Also could you estimate when you were found. What does it feel to loss consciousness from sn, Is it similar to losing consciousness from anesthesia in surgery?
It's hard to explain. I passed out onto the ground and everything went white. At first I was still semi conscious and could hear commotion around me, but shortly after that I went totally unconscious and didn't regain consciousness for a while. Woke up in the ER surrounded by people, a huge oxygen mask on my face, all my clothes cut off. It was a traumatizing experience but the SN was not painful or scary to me. While I was out I remember absolutely nothing, so I'd say it's similar to anesthesia
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,621
I did not throw up at all. I didn't take any medicine beforehand or anything the protocol said to do. I don't know how many milligrams each capsule could

It's hard to explain. I passed out onto the ground and everything went white. At first I was still semi conscious and could hear commotion around me, but shortly after that I went totally unconscious and didn't regain consciousness for a while. Woke up in the ER surrounded by people, a huge oxygen mask on my face, all my clothes cut off. It was a traumatizing experience but the SN was not painful or scary to me. While I was out I remember absolutely nothing, so I'd say it's similar to anesthesia
From ur account it seems sn in capsules is better no vomiting etc. Yours is the only documented case of Sn in capsules . Did u use regular capsules or stomach acid resistant capsules?
 
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Clochette

Member
Sep 25, 2024
6
Can i ask how come you were found ? You were at home ?
It is interesting that it seems to work quite fast even with capsules !
 
sevennn

sevennn

Mage
Sep 11, 2024
530
From ur account it seems sn in capsules is better no vomiting etc. Yours is the only documented case of Sn in capsules . Did u use regular capsules or stomach acid resistant capsules?
also curious. everyone says not to use them but sounds better than vomiting
 
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suffering_mo

Specialist
May 8, 2024
357
the recommended on here, it was really scary (not physically) but mentally.
I'm also curious about what @Asleepatlast asked... whether the "scary" was because you ingested something you knew was gonna kill you or because of the tachycardia causing your heart to race like you were having a panic attack? Did you take benzos?
 

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