Venting Another stupid rant

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Man, I love struggling with physical and mental issues and on top of that being treated like toxic waste by everyone around me.

My family only tolerates me or else finds me too weird or intense because of my problems. When I'm with them, I want to confide in them but it quickly devolves into a rant on my end about how shit everything is with me. At that point it's too much for them to bear and they just kind of back away.

My girlfriend is always snippy and bitchy. She's so emotionally cold it's like being with that Narnia queen. I'm not near to my own family proximity-wise, so everything we do centers around her family who also think I'm weird and never talk to me. On new year's eve we went over to her family and they totally ignored me.

I'm a nice person too deep down. I've tried to make an effort, to reward people conversationally for reaching out to me. To try and make myself seem congenial and relaxed. It just doesn't work.

I have no job and 0 friends, so it's over for me. There is zero in terms of nurture or appreciation, which I could probably cope with if I didn't already struggle physically, financially and psychologically. A person can't make it with so few needs being fulfilled. This is just becoming inhumane.
@NumbItAll you are a great dude, btw. Always awesome and supportive.

Edit: 9am drinking who's with me?

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Oh come on, nobody wants to hang and get in on this train wreck today? It'll be fun.

 

[WornOutLife]

First of all, cheers!
I'll join you tonight because I'm celebrating my upcoming b-day and plan to drink lots.

Oh boy! You sound so like me! I really know what you're going through. It's as if there's nothing left for me neither. I have no friends, no girlfriend (you have one at least, maybe you could talk to her about not being so cold) and no job. (well, I'm lying here because I've started teaching again because I need some cash to get my SN and leave things in order before I CTB.)

Anyway, wish you the best and I hope you drink with me tonight too!

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

First of all, cheers!
I'll join you tonight because I'm celebrating my upcoming b-day and plan to drink lots.

Oh boy! You sound so like me! I really know what you're going through. It's as if there's nothing left for me neither. I have no friends, no girlfriend (you have one at least, maybe you could talk to her about not being so cold) and no job. (well, I'm lying here because I've started teaching again because I need some cash to get my SN and leave things in order before I CTB.)

Anyway, wish you the best and I hope you drink with me tonight too!

Thank you brother, a massive cheers to you, and anyone else who is even remotely like "you know what, that Angst dude probably isn't so bad." Love you all.

I feel you on the loneliness so much. There's an emptiness that no earthly shit can fill.

 

[NumbItAll]

Thanks for the shoutout! It is a thin line between freedom and loneliness, and it sounds like you've got the loneliness without any of the freedom. Anyway, I will join the party. I just had a Snapple which is some really hardcore shit.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Snapple is always delicious. It's like a teaser too, saying "I'm good, but I'd be better with something extra thrown in".

And I don't know either! Good call!

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

That's terrible. You're a human being and you deserve to be treated so much better than this.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

That's terrible. You're a human being and you deserve to be treated so much better than this.

Thank you friend. I'm no angel you know, I'm not really under the illusion that I should be treated amazingly well, but just some normal validation or respectful, adult interaction would be good. Some realness with people who have my back. And I know I haven't been the best with others, but I try to make an effort at least. I'm not one of those people who's a dick for no reason (I seem to be surrounded by those people).

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Thank you friend. I'm no angel you know, I'm not really under the illusion that I should be treated amazingly well, but just some normal validation or respectful, adult interaction would be good. Some realness with people who have my back. And I know I haven't been the best with others, but I try to make an effort at least. I'm not one of those people who's a dick for no reason (I seem to be surrounded by those people).

Ah, no one is a saint. I prefer to give people some grace because we're all human and we all make mistakes. You don't sound like you're expecting anything exorbitant, just the bare basics. A lack of meaningful social interaction is so, so damaging to the psyche. It always helps if, like you said, you've got real people in your corner. :/