Venting Tired of stay around for someone else

[majortom4438]

Hi, first time posting here, recently found the site and I need to vent to someone, shittiest part is I have people irl that would hear me tho no listen but I love the attention I guess

So it's like 3:30 a.m. on my country I wake up half an hour ago due to my mental illness sister screaming and moving things and making noises and my mother cleaning her urine collection bag while my ex who was supposed to be the love of my life is out there with their new partner who being honest it's much better than me

and I just don't want this anymore, just keep living cause if I die my family will not have money to eat or to live. It's egoistic to spect for me to keep going cause is my responsibility to take care of them and I know it's my responsibility just I'm fucking tired

Didn't got the life I dreamed of having nor the love or anything, I'm just a failure that can't even ctb due to someone having to stay for my family

sorry this not making sense English isn't my first language in kinda confused due to lack of sleep and my mental/emotional state

i know maybe in the future I'll be able to catch the bus, when responsibility or duty or whatever this is is over but waiting is getting harder and harder

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering, I get that it's so dreadful feeling stuck in this existence when you just want to be gone. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ctemourge]

im only alive for my dad so i completely resonate with that. i hate the feeling of having to suffer so someone else doesnt. i hope you find your peace ♡